see you later, 2012!
this week made it official. 2012, my family is
not sad to see you go. we are ready to put it all behind us, remember those we lost, and move forward. there are years of my life i look back on as "trying" years, "growing" years, and "accomplished" years.
2010 was an accomplished one, full of big milestones, good things, and an overall sense of happiness.
2011 was definitely a growing up kind of year, learning lessons the hard way, making mistakes, figuring things (myself) out, and this year i can only say was a trying one. there's nothing like gaining perspective on your own life and your own problems when so much is happening to the people you love and if there's something i'm taking away from this year it's that my family is resilient. my parents and their ability to support one another through the hard times and make each other laugh through the tears is more inspiring in a relationship than i've ever seen. they are my rock and my world, seeing them experience such pain broke my heart but i know that it also brought us together and stronger than ever before.
it was a hard year, one we're glad to leave, but one we also won't take for granted because it made us better. i can honestly say i'm a better person after this year and last year, i know i didn't feel that way. i feel proud after this year and i can't remember remember feeling that way about myself last year either. 2013 is going to be a big year, a much needed good one, and i can't wait.
january falls during my ridiculously long winter break (6 weeks isn't as fun as it was as a freshmen) and during my winter break last january, i read
the fault in our stars in one sitting, staying up until the early hours of the morning to finish it. it was a book i can say changed the way i read and the way i live, a book near and dear to my heart. i
contemplated old and new friendships, talking about the differences between high school ones and college. i had the best
first day of school since fourth grade and started my first creative writing class which would be the one that
changed everything. i started what i think was the
beginning of making silly lists and
for the second time in my life, i got stuck on the dreaded 6th street hill at home bringing me back to the first time it ever happened when i was 16.


FEBRUARY
the start of february was a pretty great one, meeting my parents to skii and having
the best weekend of the semester. i read my own writing
out loud to my class for the first time, got f
rostys on a school night at midnight, experienced my first ever
valentines day with a person to celebrate it with (in person), nearly cried when my roommate
got asked out by a crush, and had one of the
craziest school weeks of assignments, exams, and midterms ever. also, this month i took the least amount of pictures ever and put myself on a bit of an outfit blogging time-out while i figured out what i really wanted out of this blog. it was nice to just blog when i wanted and how i wanted. it was so much more fun and to this day, i think it's because of my mini-break i'm so relaxed about blogging and happy with my style now.
MARCH
i got back to the swing of blogging outfits again, wearing
heart sunglasses, polka dots, stripes, and yellow
all in one, and an
elephant printed dress that marked my first purchase at francessca's collections. i went to
minnesota with my friend maggie, wrote
10 things i'd say to 10 people, and had a much needed break at
home with my family for spring break. i got the
best haircut of my entire life, reclaiming my love of bangs forever. march was a busy month of school, but a magnificently busy one.
APRIL
my favorite memory of april was
going to seattle for the weekend with some of my closest friends in montana. it was an extremely sunny and warm weekend in seattle and everything about it was perfect. even though it's a 7 hour drive from missoula, i will always defend the fact that it's worth the drive just to have a full day there. my good friend danielle took pictures of my sister and i (
here and
here!) and they are some of my most treasured pictures on my harddrive because it's rare my sister will voluntarily take a picture with me. i declared what kind of person
i was not , had a great
friday night, had
a two year anniversary, and had an epiphany realizing
miranda july was too brilliant for me.
MAY
i finished the semester with an "A" in creative writing, but it was the experience that
meant most. i
began summer the way it would ultimately pan out for the rest of the summer, with my best friend margaret, taking pictures and taking long drives on the palouse. i had the
best wednesday morning and quickly adapted to my crazy summer schedule working two jobs and taking a summer school class. niklaas and i took
cutsey pictures i will never be able to hate.
charlotte guest posted for me about colored denim and was the catalyst for my obsession to follow. taylor took pictures of me when the palouse was at its
prettiest (greenest). niklaas and i broke up, but i wouldn't write about it until july.
JUNE
it was a rainy month, and the perfect month to listen to
ingrid michaelson, wear polka dots, and take more drives. i realized what amazing friends i had and was reminded
one night in sharis just how much i adored and missed these people i didn't always spend the amount of time i should have with them. i thought about relationships, primarily myself in them, and decided
honesty was the true testament to the best types. i had one of the
most vivid dreams i can recall having in the last few years. i
rambled, a lot, and finished up
six weeks of sixty hour weeks in washington while in summer school. i
fell in love with 2am and
adventures with margaret, again. lastly, i bought a new lens completely spur of the moment and
took pictures of my two best friends that are in love and i fell in love with them while doing it. and thus began the adventure that photography would become all summer long.
JULY
in july, i finally was able to write about
the end of niklaas and my two year long relationship. it was therapeutic to put it into words, both here and in the journals i avoided for almost two months straight. i knew that no matter what, i was going to think about it, and knew i didn't want to come out of this summer feeling like it had been ruined. so, i made myself be busy. i
started taking pictures of anyone that would let me. eventually people started paying me to. i got caught in a
flash mob. my friend omni took pictures of me in
one of my favorite outfits i've worn. i enjoyed
our annual camping trip immensely and it was the perfect week away from reality. i turned
20. i became
obsessed with new things.



AUGUST
i made my
22 before 21 list in august and i'm so excited that i've accomplished so many things on it. i wrote my
favorite blog post of the year, about a moment that was so clearly meant to be. i
explored abandoned houses and decided if nothing else, i love the palouse for its abandoned barns, houses, and properties. someone i have looked up to since i met her and the least deserving of a life taken away so young tragically
passed away in a freak accident. i value and remember our friendship every single day, but more importantly, i remember the life she lived. thank you, anne, for teaching us to live in the present and reminding us to make every day count.
my car broke down on the way to missoula and made for an adventure in saltese, montana. i took pictures of a gorgeous classmate and old friend of mine and they're
some of my favorites. i also took pictures of
danielle, who was also extremely photogenic, and made waking up at 4:30am worth it. i made a list of
my favorite kind of people. i wrote my
farewell letter to a bittersweet summer and
started a new semester in a new apartment.




SEPTEMBER
on my 22 before 21 list, i decided that if nothing else, i
had to meet a blogger. i was so excited when one of my favorite bloggers,
elanor, decided to go to seattle pacific university because seattle weekend trips are easy and i just knew we would meet. however, i didn't plan that trip until november and thought it was going to be my first. low and behold, i ended up with a five hour layover in salt lake city and with 24 hours notice, told
kylee i was coming.
we met and have only become better friends since. i wrote about
living in missoula, said
goodbye to a grandmother, and realized
shopping alone is kind of, like, my thing.
a two year long battle with cancer finally came to an end for my aunt who we missed more than ever during the holidays. an
old man threatened to call the cops on me, my roommate's car was totaled in an
accident on our way to school, and realized i'd made it to total and complete
happiness.
OCTOBER



NOVEMBER




DECEMBER






2013, i am so ready for you.