Wednesday, June 13

not the way it seems

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two years ago today, you were turning seventeen. my entire extended family was in town for my graduation and we spent the entire day making trips to winco and walmart to pick up forgotten items from their grocery lists and taking my little cousins to the park when my little house became too loud. i felt guilty the entire time. why would anyone want to spend their birthday with their girlfriend and her forty some family members including one very chirpy, very excitable six year old that clung to your neck and made kissing noises at you every time you spoke? but you did. in fact, i didn’t even ask you to stay. it was the first time i realized that you weren’t just the “you” i knew on the surface that everyone else in high school also knew and we weren’t just two high school kids experiencing puppy love. there was something in your eyes that day when you looked at me and i realized then that it wasn’t that i felt guilty for stealing you on your birthday to hang out with my family so much as i felt terrified that you were seeing me surrounded by the people i loved most in the world at my most vulnerable state. i wasn’t the goody two-shoes, i wasn’t the girl who wore stupid dresses and crazy tights to school every day, i wasn’t the girl with the loud laugh, and i wasn’t the girl you’d necessarily known before that day. i was just, in the lack of a better cliche, just me. and it was just us, stripped from every high school stereotype and exterior prejudice, together, seeing the beauty in the other for the first time.

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*thank you margaret for these pictures!
**it was terrifying to push 'publish' on this post today.
i'm wearing:
dress & hat- Urban Outfitters
shoes- Dolce Vita
belt- thrifted


kylee said...

ummmm picture number three is ADORABLE/GORGEOUS/HOLYCRAPSOPRETTY! plus the lighting is amaaazzzing. picture number five is sure pretty too. proud of you for overcoming the fears of a] writing such a post and b] (the hardest one) publishing it.

Rissa Books said...

Hi! Just dropping by to say that there's currently a Liebster Blogging Award going around, encouraging up and coming bloggers with low amounts of followers. If you'd like to find out more, here is a link to the post:
Feel free to ignore if you wish. :)

Bethany Kellen of bunnypicnic said...

girl, your hair be looking so fly. and i'm loving that dress.

Jasmine, Transient Withdrawal said...

Loooooooooooove this post for so many reasons Maggie: 1) that dress looks incredible on you, 2) your hair looks so shiny and wonderful, 3) you are gorgeous, 4) I love the pretty field behind you, 5) I love what you wrote about seeing a loved one in a vulnerable light for the first time, and 6) I just love you!<3

Jamie Rose said...

Aww! You look so cute as always. I'm loving your little dress and the hat you paired with it.
You're always so open in your blog and I love it. Such a cute story about being completely you with your boyfriend.

hellolyndsey said...

You look totally adorable Mags! I love what you wrote, awwww, and you look so gorgeous in that dress. AND YOUR HAIRZZ OMGZ IT'S SO LONG AND PURRDY NOW! well it always has been pretty but ITZ LONG NOWZ :D!*!$!@#&$!!!

Shauna said...

love this! i love your blog SO much! and you are just awesome!

Ebony said...

Your hair is amazing in these photos Mags! Hard to believe it's all real, it looks so long and luscious.

Hey, I know it's been an age and I've been out of touch with bloggy world but I do often drop in and read without commenting. You are such an adorable soul. I feel like you'll always be a part of my story miss Maggie.