two years ago today, you were turning seventeen. my entire extended family was in town for my graduation and we spent the entire day making trips to winco and walmart to pick up forgotten items from their grocery lists and taking my little cousins to the park when my little house became too loud. i felt guilty the entire time. why would anyone want to spend their birthday with their girlfriend and her forty some family members including one very chirpy, very excitable six year old that clung to your neck and made kissing noises at you every time you spoke? but you did. in fact, i didn’t even ask you to stay. it was the first time i realized that you weren’t just the “you” i knew on the surface that everyone else in high school also knew and we weren’t just two high school kids experiencing puppy love. there was something in your eyes that day when you looked at me and i realized then that it wasn’t that i felt guilty for stealing you on your birthday to hang out with my family so much as i felt terrified that you were seeing me surrounded by the people i loved most in the world at my most vulnerable state. i wasn’t the goody two-shoes, i wasn’t the girl who wore stupid dresses and crazy tights to school every day, i wasn’t the girl with the loud laugh, and i wasn’t the girl you’d necessarily known before that day. i was just, in the lack of a better cliche, just me. and it was just us, stripped from every high school stereotype and exterior prejudice, together, seeing the beauty in the other for the first time.
*thank you margaret for these pictures!
**it was terrifying to push 'publish' on this post today.
dress & hat- Urban Outfitters
shoes- Dolce Vita