I wish I could tell myself just that everything would be okay and choosing one path didn't mean I couldn't have what the other did. It didn't mean the end of anyone or anything and it didn't mean leaving everything behind entirely. I've always had it instilled in my brain to leave, it's always been my agenda, but the thoughts in my head had me questioning where then was it. I wish I could tell myself to breathe and relax. I wish I could tell myself that the only thing I could do was be myself and pray that everything worked out, just like it did. I got everything I wanted in the last year. I got a change of place. I went to college. I graduated. I turned 18 in the best place on the planet. I somehow managed to make Niklaas fall for me at the very last second and hold onto him even when I chose leaving. I made even more best, best friends that I always want to have. I love my parents more than I ever have and feel so lucky that they have been the influence that they are- I've never respected their choices regarding my sister and I more than I have now. I'm so appreciative and lucky to have what I thought last year meant the end of the world if I didn't get. And the truth? Regardless of whether I got the boy or left home, every moment that built to this one has defined me and I know myself better now than I ever have. And that's what makes me happiest.
Anyways, now that the sap talk is over, I figured I would just go through some of my old posts and my favorite posts and the life-changing posts! Here is a recap of my favorite posts!
1) The Curse of the Good Girl Most of my first posts are almost exactly like this one: whiny, desperate, but hopeful at the same time. I guess this one kind of strikes me because reading it I realize just how ready and willing I was to be with someone which is a first. A huge first. I never, ever wanted to truly be with anyone until him and more than anything else, that's what sets him apart. I remember writing this feeling so many things at once and being so completely frustrated but the second I wrote it all down I felt so liberated. At the end of the day, no matter how frustrated I was and no matter how many people told me I should just let everything out in the open, I knew I had to do things my way and I wasn't going to cause a scene. I was going to wait it out like I do best and it was worth every second.
Why Do I Hate Mondays? I guess this is really where my wearing dresses to school kind of took off. I still love this outfit to this day! It's funny looking back and seeing things that I would never wear like I did before again. But this outfit, I'd wear any day. My friend Omni and I took these and it was so fun!
PROM!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the post I'll look back on forever. It's soooo fun seeing us all dolled up and remembering how perfect of a day/night it was! I know prom is such a cliche, but it really was symbolic of the whole year and to share it with Niklaas was an irreplaceable memory. I love this post.
4) Our First Photoshoot As you can probably guess, this was Niklaas and my first 'shoot' together. I was seriously so nervous! I think he was, too. I swear, there is no better way to get to know someone than them taking your picture. Over and over again. Like that. It was scary! But, they were cute, and though we could do much better now, I still adore them.
They Sing Raindrops This is one of my all time favorite shoots. I think it was the first one where we really just figured it out. They turned out so well and the minishoot beforehand for my friend to draw made it even better. I love the pictures of Niklaas and I. They make me giggle and I'll always cherish them! I wouldn't say "hipster" is exactly "country" but it was our best effort. I still need to get a hold of the drawing my friend did of us from that day!
6)Birthday Week I happened to have the best birthday ever this year! I wrote every single detail about it in this post and it's fun to remember every single detail of the whole week.
Teenage Dream I think it's an unspoken agreement that this is our favorite post to date. It was so spur of the moment to take these pictures but they're the best we've ever taken. They truly are beautiful and I'm actually excited that I'm in such pretty pictures. I'm not saying I like that I, myself, look good, but that I am in such a gorgeously taken picture. Niklaas did a perfect job.
Cataldo Mission I think it goes without saying that Niklaas driving all the way to Missoula to get me was the nicest thing...ever. I still can't believe he did that. And then drove back to Spokane for the Josh Ritter concert. There was nothing quite like going to Josh Ritter and being with my mom, sister, her best friend that I love, Niklaas, Margaret, and all my friends. It was an amazzzzzing weekend home and I loved every second. It made my fall.
Christmas in Modcloth This dress was the first dress I ever purchased from Modcloth and it fueled a passion that is now undeniable. My Christmas was lovely this winter and coming home was unreal. I loved every second of being home with my family again and I am so excited to live with them again over the summer!
10) Teen Vogue As of winter, this is my favorite outfit I've worn yet. I loved how these pictures turned out and I loved wearing my Taylor boots and I loved my patterns and even though it was a last minute shoot, it was one of my favorites!
So! There are my favorite shoots to date. I can't believe it's been a year and I'm so excited for another year of blogging! Thank you for listening to me for a year and being such wonderful, wonderful readers. Every single comment means the word to me and you all have truly helped make this year what it is!