playing catch up (with photographs, even)

Today is a rest day. Designated rest days MUST happen approximately every 18.3 days in my Seattle world. As in, I need to spend on day on the Island not in Seattle and preferably outside on the deck reading for an entire day, eating home-cooked meals, and taking a really long time to drink my morning three cups of coffee. After two weekends of day to night activities back to back all day long and 21 experiencing, it was due. In fact, I could blog about what I've decided about the bar life but I'll leave that for when I've been to more than just one. I don't think I'd be doing nightlife a service judging all bars by one country bar in Tacoma that was only fun because I was 21, you dig me? I've seen those real Montanian cowboys and I barely like them, so the fake ones, well, don't get me started.

I guess I'm the sort of person that has friends that fly to visit me so for the last two weeks I had friends here sharing the adorable Jack and Jill style bathroom in the house I live in with me. That meant voyaging via bus to the most exciting parts of the city because, and I can promise you this, if you visit me, I will try to give you the best bang for your Ticketcity-plane-ticket buck. There was the Woodland Park Zoo and Seattle Center day, there was the Fremont Troll and Gas Works day, there was the Queen Anne Kerry Park AND Bhy Kracke Park day, there was the UDistrict and UVillage day, there was the Tacoma bar night, there was the Capitol Hill thrifting day, and finally the Bainbridge Island days. 

This is why I have to deny all plans thrown at me on the occasional Saturday. I can't keep up with myself. And I can't really afford it- especially when I play personal shopper for my sister and buy her trooper olive green slouchy jackets that are too perfect for words. 

And here's where I admit that I took zero pictures with my camera for any of this. Are we still friends?

I got to spend time with my friend who flew here from Montana and got to see for myself what a new-to-the-city-Montanian looks like and probably what I looked like when I first got here. For example, when she saw a cute dog, she voiced how adorable it was and how it reminded her of her own very loudly hoping the owner would stop so she could pet it. He didn't bother glancing at us let alone stopping and I had to tell her that is not how the city works. Then there was the time we saw protestors stopping pedestrians to sign their petitions and I told her to keep her head down and ignore them- guess who got stuck listening to their speech for thirty minutes? And then I got to hang out with none other than the funniest person I've ever known. Sydney has a heart of gold and I like to think she fell a little bit in love with Island life, too. I know she liked Island driving (if you visit me, I might make you be my chauffeur when I have an expired license, too.) 

The highlight of these past two weeks was laughing, effortlessly and completely. There's nothing like giving yourself to a full hearty laugh, you know? No walls, no worries- that sort of thing? The kind of thing you're hesitant to do when you're among friends you just met at work who you're afraid won't invite you to sit with them at lunch if you're too weird too soon. 

Anyways, I need to find a job. Or SOME jobs. I'm mostly to the not so homeless thing now but I need some bucks and I'm worried about what I'm going to do if I'm not as busy as I am now during the school year. 

the best birthday of my life

I was sitting at my desk yesterday around 3pm, only just starting to do some work after a birthday party was thrown by my office in complete Michael Scott style, between three bouquets of flowers next to my computer, two packages, and a flood of notifications and texts on my phone wishing me happy birthday when it just sort of snowballed at once how remarkable it was to be sitting there. Last year, I had a good birthday, don't get me wrong. I had the low key of all low key summers and it was good. But a year later and I'm sitting in an office as an intern having the time of my life in SEATTLE living a dream and the people in my life are nothing short of amazing hard working people I'm proud to be friends with- how is this my life just a year later?!

I think the biggest things I've taken away from being twenty are two things and they're both two simple things I learned the hard way, as I always learn these things. Your life shouldn't be just okay. You should love the things you're doing and the people you're around. You should love every day for not just the big picture of things but for what your life is now. You get out of life what you put into it and I just wasn't putting much into it. I was thumbing through my college years thinking that what I was doing would get me a well paying job and eventual happiness when all along I knew that I should have been studying writing. I should have been starting on my life and happiness then instead of thinking of happiness as something to achieve later. There's having a goal and working towards something you want so I realize the big things don't come easy, but you also never know if everything is going to go as planned. And if you don't like the baby steps and doing the ground "grunt" work, how are you going to get there!? I get excited about writing a tweet at my internship or just writing a flyer. It's hard to be away from my friends and family but I like what I'm doing every day. I hated reading my biology textbooks. Secondly, surround yourself by people who make you a better person that you just feel better around.

Twenty was messy. I had a lot of figuring out to do as I'm sure I'll have more to sort out later. But for the moment, I've gotten this far and it's a lot further than I was last year. I've figured out where my potential can take me in the future and suddenly my life feels limitless as opposed to restricted. I got myself to Seattle for the summer. And the people I'm around are motivated inspiring people. And while I'm laying on the cheese factor, it's because of those people, those 38 MCAT scoring, Seattle Photography Intern working, and Hawaiian living beings, that I took some risks, too. 

I'm a proud cat loving creative writing major and I love my ordinary life and all the grunt work in it and I love it now. 

my intern friends! 

after this, my whole office sang and we had cake. i love my office.

ho hey, it's my birthday week!

I'm already feeling loved and it's only the first day of my birthday week. The actual day is Wednesday but just look- a new blog layout made by my gifted friend Kylee and I received a package at work today from Natalie who indulged my Redvines addiction! Seriously, these babies were consumed in just under three hours. The package said that there were only two servings in there, however, so it could be worse.

I've decided that clearly the last two weeks were only a bit rough to make way for a happy happy birthday week. That's how the universe operates, right? Alternating between eh and fantastic? Well, I'm telling myself it is. Here's to turning 21. I have a feeling about this year. I really, really do. And if I've learned anything about myself getting older, it's that I have a scary accurate gut feeling about things. 2013 has been pretty great so far, but age 20 as a whole was murky at best.

Also... at the very least, I have tickets to One Direction this weekend.

to my dearest old dad

to that dearest dad of mine,

Thank you for teaching me how to suffer embarrassment at an early age. I swear, it's all because of you and your Piaget inspired embarrassment conditioning, I am no longer embarrassed about anything ever. Because at some point along the way I realized if who you are is different than what follows social norm, it's their problem, not yours. Being the only person that isn't over the age of 75 at the pool in a speedo? "Michael Phelps wear them, what's the problem?" Driving a car that's older than half your age? "SO? Everything is made like crap nowadays." Turns out, it's a lot more fun to just live and be weird. I would know. I got it from you.

I almost didn't want to move to Seattle this summer because I was going to miss your drop ins at work and helping you with your experiments on my breaks when I worked three floors above yours. As much fun as exploring the city during my lunch breaks now are, I sometimes still wish I could exchange the occasional lunch on Pike's for twenty minutes in your office eating PB&J's with you.

I may be Mom's daughter through and through, but you're the one who keeps me grounded and reminds me that no matter my successes, it doesn't mean anything if I'm a crappy family member, friend, or can't keep my room clean.

You're FIFTY today and this is the first year I haven't been there for your birthday/Father's Day extravaganza and I wish I could have seen your face when you saw my annual photoshopped card for you. I missed you today, old man, and thought of how much many complaints on every city block you would be rolling off your sassy tongue if you could see what I saw.

Thank you for loving me despite wanting to make crazy choices like jetting off to Hawaii and moving to the city for the summer because I know I can count on you to be the person I know is always looking out for me.

<3

it started with a whisper

i have a secret to share with you all... i think i'm falling out of love with dresses.  i honestly can't remember the last time i wore one and i certainly haven't posted a blog post in one in forever. is this an identity crisis?! for whatever reason, i'm really loving separates these days and have only purchased separates this summer. for my birthday, i got only tops and pants and skirts. seriously, guys. what's happening here? maggie without dresses is like the earth without water. maybe i'll wear one sometime soon, but for now, it seems like skirts and shirts and scalloped shorts are what i'm gravitating towards. this is the last time you'll be seeing this skirt (sorry, Tieka!) but I wanted to style it up one last time before sending it back. also, i'm a little bit in love with this shirt.

without sounding toooo narcissistic, i spent my entire shift at work today thinking about myself. i know, i know. it does sound bad. but normally all i do is think about other people and today, i spent the entire shift thinking about what i wanted to do in the next few months and over this next school year. i have this theory that doing dishes is the best way to get yourself out of any sort of mind-bloggling matter- within three hours, i'd devised a page worth of ideas and things i wanted to accomplish in the next school year. grades, extracurricular activities, my relationships, jobs, hobbies, photography, blogging, ect. i think for the most part i've been using photography and work as a bit of an escape from reality to just let things sit in my mind for a while. i think i might incorporate some of these things i want to do into a '22 before 21' list like so many bloggers do and having a list always helps me actually do instead of talk about doing. immediately after my shift i ran to my dad's office downstairs where i hammered everything out into an email that i sent to myself. progress.

THANK YOU all so much for your kind tweets, emails, comments, and instagram messages on my birthday! i had a spectacular if not low-key birthday and it was exactly perfect. i love you all dearly.

shirt: Forever21 // skirt: borrowed from Tieka // shoes: Urban Outfitters //

sunglasses: birthday present // hat: Modcloth

officially not a teenager

my 20th birthday was today and it was a first of its kind. never have i spent a birthday at home, not even once. usually i'm somewhere between butte and missoula montana, driving in sweltering heat and living out of a suitcase of dirty camping clothes. usually, i spend my birthday evenings eating at a randomly chosen restaurant and end the night in a hotel room where i scribble in my diary before the night is over about what it's like to be another year older. this year, i spent the day at the beach with my sister and mom and two close friends. i slept in, in my own bed. i had pancakes made for me. i had coffee brought to me. 

what is it like being twenty? it doesn't feel different, of course it doesn't. it never really does. but there's something about turning twenty that is different than the other years; i'm officially in my 'twenties'. i'm sure that this doesn't mean i'm a drastically changed person nor will things really become that different down the road, but i'm well aware of the new responsibilities ahead. paying my own rent of my new apartment, paying the car insurance and gas of my 2001 subaru outback, going to school full time and working part time, and all of these things that suddenly feel more adult than my teen years of responsibilities. it's new, it's liberating, and it's exciting. but it's also somewhat crazy knowing i'll never be that young nor that free of responsibility ever again. we'll never, ever be younger than we are right now.

then again, is that any different than before? no, not really. not really at all.

livy love designs giveaway!

today is my BIRTHDAY! i am officially 20 years old. holla.

i'm one of those people that feels like when something good happens to me or for me, i immediately feel like i need to dish it back out. so, being that it's my birthday and i can't individually send you all cupcakes and the fact that i'm barely shy of 600 followers at the same time, i teamed up with Livy Love Designs to post a giveaway!

i absolutely adore Livy's shop. previous to working together, i actually had her custom make me a print to hang up in my apartment. at the same time, she was running a sale on her 'keep calm and bake on' prints so i also bought one of those. her designs can be as simple or as intricate as you want them to be and for a college student, a really affordable way for me to add something to my very white blank walls.

RULES:

-follow my blog

-leave a comment with a way to reach you

*BONUS ENTIRES*

- follow me on twitter (maggeygrace),

instagram (maggeygrace), and on

bloglovin'

-leave one additional comment for each

giveaway ends on august 3rd!

developed *recent* obsessions

• waking up early. THIS IS TRUE. i've been waking up between 6-7:30am every single morning but that's not the best part. the best part is that it's been done without an alarm and i just wake up when my brain decides to wake up (or when my mom decides to go running and walk through the house like a t-rex). 
• watching Gilmore Girls every single morning before work. this is done by recording every episode on my DVR, starting after I've had my breakfast/shower/quiet reading time, and skipping through the commercials. 
• nail polish. i wasn't a nail polish girl, but boy, am i ever now. the glitter and mint are my favorites and most used, but i somehow manage to convince myself every single time i'm in rite aid or walgreens that 'i just need one new color, it's only $8 and i haven't spent much money this summer...' even though i really don't have money to spend on expensive nail polish and i don't need a new color (but my birthday IS coming up and nail polish is about all that's on my list...).
• this american life podcasts. i recently realized how unhealthy it was to sit and listen to music while dissecting invertebrates because it's way too much 'me' time and way too much time to think. i tend to think in circles and circles until i've twisted my brain into confusing knots. podcasts have fixed that.
• tops. i realized the other day that i haven't bought a dress all summer except the ones i've thrifted. everything on my clothing wish-lists for back to school shopping are tops. i guess i'm in a 'separates' phase.
• blind pilot. i've always 'loved' blind pilot, but my obsession is recent. it seems as though i can make every single song relate to life at the moment. 
• portraiture. i'm completely infatuated with the feeling of taking pictures of someone i haven't taken pictures of before and figuring out their best angles and the most flattering light. it's a little bit like a puzzle and when i'm absorbed, i'm not thinking about anything else. it's a pretty addicting spell. i took engagements this week and the couple's friend tagged along. while regrouping, i looked over at her and just asked if i could take some shots of her. i told her to sit down in the grass and in one shot, i was completely enamored with her. i think i took my favorite portrait to date and i asked her if she'd want to go out another day for fun. some people just have that thing about them in front of a camera.

You're Invited to a Tea Party!

When it came time to plan for my birthday week... I decided I wanted to have a birthday party. And not just a birthday party, but a tea party. I had the most amazing tea set that I got for my sixth birthday, but one fateful day, I left it at my babysitter's friends' house and never got to have the dream tea party I always wanted. I invited everyone that I loved dearly and by some stroke of luck, my bestest friends ever from college were also able to attend! Yeeeeee!

I went to Goodwill on a whim to see if I could find any sort of anything that could be used for my tea set. It seems like I just got lucky all around for my party- I found not only tea cups, but matching plates, creamers, tea pots, and tea set materials galore! Not only that, but they were on all on sale- 50% off. My 50 cent cups and plates were 24 cents. I spent eleven dollars on a 30 piece tea set. Does it get better than that?



I opted for my Modcloth polka dot dress with a white ruffle detail- it felt vintage and if I had to have tea with Kate Middleton, this would be my dress of choice. The great thing about my little town in Idaho is that there are some great-and cheap!- vintage shops. I found my 1960's white vintage hat for only seven dollars! I loved what people came up with for their "British tea party" outfits. It was a blast!



Niklaas took all of these pictures. He looked pretty cute himself in his blazer. Overall, it was a wonderful little tea party and I truly loved being around every single person I adore (minus one or two people). The only way it could possibly be better is if all of you bloggers could have been there ;)!



Oh, and I definitely wouldn't fit in at the Queen's palace.

nineteen.

it's a little bit hard to believe that I'm nineteen.

every single time I gripe about my age, all of the elders in the room say,

"don't you think it's a little too early to worry about getting old?"

my answer: no.

I know I'm not technically old. 

But what scares me is how every single year seems to go faster

and faster.

I'm mostly scared that I'm going to wake up in the blink of an eye

and everything that is happening right now,

like sitting here typing at my computer,

will be what I'm remembering as a 90 year old.

Right now is going to be a memory before I know it.

for the past six years and some odd years previous,

I've written in my diary on my birthday.

and for some reason, I always recap what I've learned,

how I've grown, what I've realized, what I want, 

what I love, and hopes for the future.

this year, however,

 I can't write pages about who I've become

and who I want to become.

there isn't much to say.

I have everything

and I'm further than where I ever thought I could be.

all I want to enjoy is right now 

while it's here.

Happy Birthday, Lifesize Paperdoll!

YAY! My blog is officially one year old! It was one year ago to the day that I posted my very first blog post ever!!!!!

It's nothing short of insanity to think how different one year can make. Between reading my journal from a year ago (I've been through three since) and reading my blog posts from last March, all I can do is laugh. A year ago, I was unsure and scared and desperate. I guess it kind of seems like looking back on myself now, I feel like I was such a little girl then because I was that scared and that desperate and that unsure of the future. It was all I thought about and all that I cared about. I had faith in myself, I suppose, but I didn't have faith that my decisions were right for the people around me; leaving my newfound and only true best friends I'd ever had behind, never telling someone I was on the brink of being completely in love with them, and choosing between an extra year at home or leaving. It was literally that point in your life when you come to a fork and have to choose one way or the other; that defining life changing point where you are forced to pick one, make sacrifices, and decide what you want.

I wish I could tell myself just that everything would be okay and choosing one path didn't mean I couldn't have what the other did. It didn't mean the end of anyone or anything and it didn't mean leaving everything behind entirely. I've always had it instilled in my brain to leave, it's always been my agenda, but the thoughts in my head had me questioning where then was it. I wish I could tell myself to breathe and relax. I wish I could tell myself that the only thing I could do was be myself and pray that everything worked out, just like it did. I got everything I wanted in the last year. I got a change of place. I went to college. I graduated. I turned 18 in the best place on the planet. I somehow managed to make Niklaas fall for me at the very last second and hold onto him even when I chose leaving. I made even more best, best friends that I always want to have. I love my parents more than I ever have and feel so lucky that they have been the influence that they are- I've never respected their choices regarding my sister and I more than I have now. I'm so appreciative and lucky to have what I thought last year meant the end of the world if I didn't get. And the truth? Regardless of whether I got the boy or left home, every moment that built to this one has defined me and I know myself better now than I ever have. And that's what makes me happiest.


Anyways, now that the sap talk is over, I figured I would just go through some of my old posts and my favorite posts and the life-changing posts! Here is a recap of my favorite posts!
1) The Curse of the Good Girl Most of my first posts are almost exactly like this one: whiny, desperate, but hopeful at the same time. I guess this one kind of strikes me because reading it I realize just how ready and willing I was to be with someone which is a first. A huge first. I never, ever wanted to truly be with anyone until him and more than anything else, that's what sets him apart. I remember writing this feeling so many things at once and being so completely frustrated but the second I wrote it all down I felt so liberated. At the end of the day, no matter how frustrated I was and no matter how many people told me I should just let everything out in the open, I knew I had to do things my way and I wasn't going to cause a scene. I was going to wait it out like I do best and it was worth every second.

2) Why Do I Hate Mondays? I guess this is really where my wearing dresses to school kind of took off. I still love this outfit to this day! It's funny looking back and seeing things that I would never wear like I did before again. But this outfit, I'd wear any day. My friend Omni and I took these and it was so fun!

3) PROM!!!!!!!!!!!! This is the post I'll look back on forever. It's soooo fun seeing us all dolled up and remembering how perfect of a day/night it was! I know prom is such a cliche, but it really was symbolic of the whole year and to share it with Niklaas was an irreplaceable memory. I love this post.

4) Our First Photoshoot As you can probably guess, this was Niklaas and my first 'shoot' together. I was seriously so nervous! I think he was, too. I swear, there is no better way to get to know someone than them taking your picture. Over and over again. Like that. It was scary! But, they were cute, and though we could do much better now, I still adore them.

5) They Sing Raindrops This is one of my all time favorite shoots. I think it was the first one where we really just figured it out. They turned out so well and the minishoot beforehand for my friend to draw made it even better. I love the pictures of Niklaas and I. They make me giggle and I'll always cherish them! I wouldn't say "hipster" is exactly "country" but it was our best effort. I still need to get a hold of the drawing my friend did of us from that day!

6)Birthday Week I happened to have the best birthday ever this year! I wrote every single detail about it in this post and it's fun to remember every single detail of the whole week.

7) Teenage Dream I think it's an unspoken agreement that this is our favorite post to date. It was so spur of the moment to take these pictures but they're the best we've ever taken. They truly are beautiful and I'm actually excited that I'm in such pretty pictures. I'm not saying I like that I, myself, look good, but that I am in such a gorgeously taken picture. Niklaas did a perfect job.

8) Cataldo Mission I think it goes without saying that Niklaas driving all the way to Missoula to get me was the nicest thing...ever. I still can't believe he did that. And then drove back to Spokane for the Josh Ritter concert. There was nothing quite like going to Josh Ritter and being with my mom, sister, her best friend that I love, Niklaas, Margaret, and all my friends. It was an amazzzzzing weekend home and I loved every second. It made my fall.

9) Christmas in Modcloth This dress was the first dress I ever purchased from Modcloth and it fueled a passion that is now undeniable. My Christmas was lovely this winter and coming home was unreal. I loved every second of being home with my family again and I am so excited to live with them again over the summer!

10) Teen Vogue As of winter, this is my favorite outfit I've worn yet. I loved how these pictures turned out and I loved wearing my Taylor boots and I loved my patterns and even though it was a last minute shoot, it was one of my favorites!


So! There are my favorite shoots to date. I can't believe it's been a year and I'm so excited for another year of blogging! Thank you for listening to me for a year and being such wonderful, wonderful readers. Every single comment means the word to me and you all have truly helped make this year what it is!

Love,
Maggie