Tuesday, January 31

q&a: me!

(one) where were you born?
i was born in moscow, idaho! my doctor's name was maggie and it was purely coincidental that my parents wanted to name me 'margaret' after my great grandmother, but my doctor thought they named me after her and thought it was the coolest thing in the world. i like to think i was her most special delivery in that case. 
(two) where do you go to school?
i go to school in missoula, montana at the university of montana! i study biology and i'm on the pre-med track. i have a minor in creative writing but i might be switching my major to journalism with a minor in biology. it's complicated.
(three) what do you love about your life?
oh goodness! thinking about it, i think everything i love about my life i love because of my family. i love my family to no end. i love my mom who isn't afraid to stand up for herself or what she believes in and i always know that she's there for me. i love my dad who is absolutely the goofiest person i know and says things like "yo" and "ding-bat" and "bomb diggity squat" in every day conversation and sends the best emails ever. i love my little sister who i shared a room with for 11 years and is kind of my other half in that we think the same things, talk the same way, can say stuff like "you know that thing? oh my gosh it's so, you know" and we know exactly what the other is talking about. she's perfect. all together, we are kind of chaotic and our personalities clash just as often as they mesh, but i love that we're all so close. i can't imagine not having a solid family background at all and i pretty much obsess over them.
(four) where would you like to be in five years?
i will be 24 in five years. i hope by that time, i've successfully graduated, studied abroad, gotten into a medical school or physician assistant school, volunteered for peace corps (or something awesome), and moved someplace awesome. i hope to be able to be a practicing physician and if i switch my major to journalism, become a science journalist of sorts and volunteer all over the world for doctor's without borders while writing about it. i have a weird love for viruses.  
(five) where do you get your inspiration from?
i get my inspiration from almost everything. a little kid at walmart laughing in the toy section. a terrible rap song on the radio. the most amazing book i've read in months. lyrics from a song. looking out my window (ha, so cliche). looking at old pictures. blogs. an awesome smelling lotion. coffee shops. walking downtown. magazines. old playlists on my iPod. making phone calls to people i like. pinterest. 
(six) what were you like in high school?
high school. high school. i don't really know what i was "like". i was in most of the honors classes/ap courses that i could take and got good grades. i was in national honor society (a big fat joke), environmental club (i got to save sea turtles in mexico), bpa (short lived), and bear buddies (mentor to elementary kids). my high school was pretty small and for the most part, clique free so i didn't really have one solid "group" of friends. i was more of a floater with close friends here and there. i consider myself to have been pretty shy in high school, minus senior year, and that's the one thing i wish i could have changed about my experience there. there are so many people now i wish i would have tried to get to know better or earlier! but for the most part, i was the wall flower that studied hard, had an average amount of friends, played soccer, involved in club activities, and blended in pretty well.
(seven) what is your favorite kind of ice cream?
cake batter and anything with cookie dough or brownie bits.
(eight) what's your best high school memory?
my best high school memory without a doubt was going to mexico to save sea turtles. it was just an extraordinary trip camping on a beach for a week with a small group of students that i can't really sum up in words. however, if we're talking specific instances... i think one of the best moments in high school ever was the time i got locked on the secret fourth floor. i was a ta for my english teacher and one day was given the task of running up to the hidden fourth floor where the special education offices were. i figured out how to get there, but when i reached the room, i realized that no one was there and it was pitch dark. as i went back down the stairs in a special little secret dark creepy stairwell, i realized that the doors locked from the outside. i didn't have my phone with me and proceeded to sit there to wait for someone to rescue me. after twenty minutes, one of my good friends who was also a ta showed up and being so excited that someone found me... i forgot to make sure the door stayed open so that when she walked into the stairwell, it closed behind her. so we were both trapped together for at least an hour. it was kind of awesome. and i didn't get in trouble. 
(nine) what's your worst high school memory?
we're going to have to dive into the world of tmi's for this story, but i think it's well worth it. being a female, i once got my monthly blessing in the middle of my french class. i went to the bathroom and due to its oh so perfect timing, i had no other option except for needing to go home and change, promptly. i called my dad from the bathroom and told him to please excuse me from school for the next hour so i can walk home and change because i'm having serious womanhood issues and he said he would, no questions asked. so i awkwardly squirmed all the way back to french down the hallway hoping there was no one behind me and by the time i got back, my teacher (who is awesome) runs to me and says that she covered for me, but that i needed to go to the principal's office and the secretary was very angry with me. ummm. i explained to her what was up, which she understood perfectly, but still went to the principal's office. once there, i waited for our ever so welcoming principle named "bob", just "bob", squirming in my chair. he walked in with my secretary and the assistant principal as well. ridiculous? a lot. the secretary told bob that my dad had called and said that he'd gotten a call from his daughter to be excused. in moscow high school world, this is a huge no-no. if you want to be excused from school during school, you absolutely have to go to the secretary's office and call your parent using her phone standing in front of her to listen in on your conversation. there was no way i was going to explain in front of her to my dad that i was having womanhood issues and i knew if i used a "sick" excuse my dad would probably think i was lying, so i had to call from the bathroom. so, the secretary was really digging into me, pissed off as i'd ever seen her, while i'm literally fuming in my chair listening to all of this. finally, bob steps in and says, "maggie, what were you doing in the bathroom?" in which i decided to completely forget about the little censorship device in my head that separates what's appropriate to say from my thoughts, and said loudly without yelling, "I GOT MY PERIOD AND I'M LEAKING AND I NEED TO GO HOME TO CHANGE OUT OF MY UNDERPANTS!" okay, i might have screeched a little. but it was really horrible and he shut up promptly and i think it was the only time i ever saw bob silent and i ended up staying home all day. 
(ten) do you want to have kids? if so, what would you name them?
YES. YES. YES. i love babies. and children. i love everything about the sticky little adorable beasts. my roommates and i all joke about how weird my children are going to be and i'm pretty set on "xavier dennis" "zeus-bob-frank" and "audrey faye". two boys and a girl. i'd probably prefer two girls and a boy, but i can't think of another awesome girl name. not yet.
(eleven) how is college?
COLLEGE! college is college. i think it was a bit of a rude awakening to get to college and realized how much work it was going to be. not the school part (although that was a challenge) but the adjustment and making friends and being independent and being without my family. i mean, i did it all and i did it all pretty well, but none of it was exactly handed to me. i was so excited to get to college but i didn't realize just how not easy it was going to be to find good friends and find a niche. it's worthwhile and exciting to start over and build a life for yourself, but college has a way of making you feel lonely, exhausted, and worthless at times. in my experience. but it is awesome to feel like everything you get out of college is because of the work you put into it. and i put a lot of work into it. and now it's wonderful and amazing.
(twelve) are you a crier?
yes and no. i don't cry in front of people. and when i do cry, it seems like it happens all at once. all of the sudden, i'll cry about every sad thing that's happened in the past month or more. however, i do kind of enjoy crying because once it's out, it feels really good to be done with it. i think it's kind of therapeutic. 
(thirteen) what's the best good thing to happen to you?
yikes! getting a scholarship? moving out? LEAVING MY HOME TOWN? 
those three things are note worthy. definitely. and my parents would probably agree with all three as my greatest accomplishments.

however, if you're asking me, and you are, the best good thing to happen to me was getting picked by taylor swift to meet her after her concert. best night of my entire life. i kind of (kind of a lot, actually) worship her. it. was. the. most. amazing. experience. ever. i think for me it was one of the most inspiring experiences in my entire life. call me stupid, i can handle that. but standing in front of someone who literally made their every dream come true for themselves was amazing. it radiated from her. she was so completely thankful for every kind word i said and i never, ever thought i'd get a chance to meet my idol. you can't stand in the audience of her shows and not feel like there is anything else she should be doing with her life. you feel like it's what she is honestly born to do. i was in complete and utter awe of that alone.

Monday, January 30

500 readers week!!

as far as reaching 500 readers on blogger, i'm a little excited. i'm not claiming to have an outrageously successful blog or that i'm really cool (because i'm not) but i feel really blessed nonetheless. 500! that is so cool! that's like the entire size of my high school! so i've decided to make this a 'yay!' kind of week and i'll be posting different things this week along the lines of two q&a posts from questions you all submitted, an awesome giveaway, a compiled list of my favorite blogs, and other exciting-ish things that i hope we all enjoy. yay!! thank you.

Sunday, January 29

like but dislike


i like coffee in the mornings but i don't like texts that get unanswered or ignored.

i like lotion and perfume and nail polish but i don't like make-up minus a really great liquid eye liner.

i like living with girls but i don't like it at all at the very same time.

i like being in college but i miss the days when not studying got me an A and all I had to worry about was that night's homework, not picking a major.

i like shopping at goodwill and salvation army but i also have a really big crush on anthropologie and modcloth.

i like fridays and all but i really, really hate having organic chemistry quizzes until 5pm.

i like exercising but i really hate waking up early enough to go to the gym and if you don't go until after 3PM, you'll never get an elliptical.

i like kindles but i also really love the feel of a book in my hands.

i like listening to music but i also love the silence of an empty dorm room at night.

i like being young but i also really wish i was a *little* bit older.

i like blogging but i hate being on the computer for too long despite what my sister might say. it makes my day feel useless.

i like speaking my mind but i'm also scared of how the other person will react.

Saturday, January 28

creative writing

on the first day of school, i wrote about how infatuated i was with my creative writing class.

my teacher was basically a modcloth model straight from the website and completely wonderful and adorable and really, really enthusiastic (enthusiasm makes for the best kind of teachers). i can trust her.

two days in, i'm realizing how much of a challenge this class is going to be to get out of it what i really want out of it. every lecture, we're required to do the reading and instead of writing an analytical response as i'm so used to from my high school english classes, we are required to write a "fictional response". i didn't think this would be that difficult. however, it's proving to be extremely difficult. i can definitely get away with just mindlessly writing something that will work with a few good ideas, but i'm realizing i want more than that. i don't want to just effortlessly go through the motions in this class. i want to really push myself. for the past year and a half, i've journaled, i've blogged, and i've written a lot of non-fiction in various word documents hidden in folders on my laptop, but i haven't really dove into the whole "fictional" world. most of what i work with is from my own life and my own experiences so getting inside someone else's conscious that another author created is a little bit like a puzzle. and every single one of us has a different interpretation of every story which just illustrates the gaps and holes that the readers are supposed to fill. it's hard.

i'm realizing i know how to write about my own life. i know how to write an interesting story that happened to me. but i have no idea about the crafting of a fictionalized story that isn't about me. i have no idea how to convey my writing in a different way than i'm used to. i have no idea how to reveal a character story and create a character "arch" as they develop. i have no idea how to create a puzzle, revealing the pieces slowly. i have no idea how to pull back.

i've excelled in my english classes this far into my life but for the first time, i'm taking a class that isn't about a grade. i want to become a better writer. i want to learn how to write a character and i want to learn how to reveal that character (perhaps the most difficult task of all). reading these short stories for class and discussing them in a group has made me realize how many details there are in crafting a story and just being a good writer doesn't mean a lot. a good writer can be a good writer but can be terrible at crafting an intriguing story. 

my goal for this class is to listen and observe with wide eyes. i want to soak in every single thing modcloth model has to say and every single thing my classmates discuss about the stories we read. i want to push myself further than i've ever been expected to and learn what it takes to "craft" your writing. i'm at the point of desperation in my writing and i'm realizing that i do what to be heard. i want to write and write and write and write. i want my teacher to read everything i write and give me feedback. i want my classmates to read and figure out my own puzzle. 

this could be the best or worst attempt i've ever made in writing.

Friday, January 27

January happy playlist

my "happy" playlist:

sparks fly taylor swift// i won't give up jason mraz// you and me gustat spetz// do you wanna the kooks// let us love needtobreathe// reptilia the strokes// who says selena gomez// the cave mumford and sons// crushcrushcrush paramore// daylight matt & kim// count on me bruno mars// eenie meenie sean kingston & justin bieber// fearless taylor swift// go on, say it blind pilot// grace kelly mika// grow a pair ke$ha// here comes your man meaghan smith// i woke up in a car something corporate// howl florence & the machine// rattling locks josh ritter// mushaboom feist

i've never and will never call myself a real music buff. i don't claim to have the best taste in music, as clearly illustrated in my happy song list. i'm definitely more of a blast-your-music-in-your-car-and-sing-along-to-every-word kind of music listener. i'm a lyric girl. i'll listen and look for songs with lyrics that melt my heart. a song that somehow captures exactly how i want to say a feeling in a few words perfectly put together can have a magical kind of effect. i don't believe in "good" or "bad" music nor in genres. i'm not a genre whore. i'll listen to anything and everything because if i like it then i like it and it can be so simple as that. in fact, i kind of envy people that stick to one genre and find crazy cool music that they're strictly passionate about and know everything about. i'm not that cool. i just listen to what i like and soak in every single word. 

Thursday, January 26

cranky spell

the worst kind of cranky is the kind where you don't really have a reason to be, but you just are, and then you feel even worse because you know you're being too self loathing and making everyone around you annoyed. i woke up at 6:45am today feeling tired and stressed out just three days into the school year. how can a teacher tell his students that last semester we didn't get to five chapters and he didn't expect to be teaching this semester, so now we have to catch up on what he didn't teach the previous semester and take a quiz on it the first week of classes? i'm a good student. i do my homework. i do my reading. i'll do what it takes to understand something. and i can honestly say that last semester i had the worst classroom experience in a class i've ever had. taking a final and not even being able to narrow down any answers of 75-80% of the test was unbelievable. there's not studying and taking a final... and then there's not learning and taking one.

anyways, i guess i was feeling defeated before the semester really even kicked off. i took three short naps all day and generally projected my bad mood in whiney complaints. i was annoying myself. i just wanted to go home and curl up in my down comforter and ignore everyone. i wanted a hug but i'll be honest, i'm too stubborn to admit when i need one. or when i need anything. i like to pride myself on being a "happy" person that doesn't let small things get my mood down especially when there are people that have it worse and i don't feel like i have reason to complain about a single thing, but there are days when i'm just a grumpy mess.

so what did it? telling someone i was grumpy. a text later informing me that yes, it was obvious to everyone was humbling. as people, we're always growing and learning and i'm still learning that it's okay to not be okay and asking for what you need isn't a bad thing. it's the "grown up" thing rather than moping around being an annoyance to others.



Wednesday, January 25

unexpectedly happy things

before i went back to school, i had lunch with a friend who reads my blog
and she told me she liked reading my lists.
i have nothing else to post today and i never really thought my "lists"
were much of anything, but they are fun to write and now i know
i have at least one fan!

things that make me unexpectedly happy:
-being forced to wake up at 6:55am on Mondays, Wednesdays,
and Fridays. followed by 3 hours of classes. it means i finish my day by 11am
and i feel more productive in the morning. score
- cleaning my dorm room
- the dorm cafeteria. i missed their chocolate milk.
- trying new food. potatoes yesterday. apple pie sometime
this week.
- living without a tv again. hulu is truly my best friend
- being back at school. this means living in close proximity to niklaas
and spontaneous breakfast dates are a thing of the present. also, being snowed in?
a thing of the past. yayay!
- having three roommates once again.
- solid tights. usually i'm a print gal. i'm kind of loving the solids lately, though.
mustard yellow, red, white.

Monday, January 23

first day of school

nothing says hello to spring semester like a 7:00am wake-up alarm. however, on only the first day, i managed to oversleep when in the middle of tossing and turning in my bed in the hour prior (i'm always restless before the first day)(also, it's quite an adjustment to go from my perfect soul mate mattress at home to a still uncomfortable with three mattress pads dorm bed) and mid dream, i managed to convince myself that it was actually tuesday. thus, making myself think i could sleep in because after all, i didn't have classes on tuesday. this was in the middle of dreaming. even my subconscious wasn't ready for school to begin.

and yet, after a skipped shower (at one point, i was awake enough to realize that my dreaming self was completely and utterly wrong and all too manipulative) and quick hair brushing (it's a good morning when that gets done), i walked to my 8:10am class. it was pretty dreary outside and still a wee bit dark, but it was oddly peaceful, too. 

i might regret saying this later, but i'm actually kind of excited and motivated for my genetics class. it might be the first biology class in college where i'm not scratching my head 75% of the time wondering why i'm taking the class and why my major is biology. genetics just sounds cool, doesn't it? my professor also spent 18 months in chile and tends to veer off into random stories about it. also, he has a southern drawl. i like it. i like it a lot.

at 9:10 in the exact same room (pretty much every single one of my classes are in the same two rooms in the same building)(that's what happens when you're a science major) i had stats. um, ew? i don't know why but i just don't get the stats vibe. thankfully, i do have friends in there. how cool is it to recognize five or six people in college? i think it's cool. anyways, my stats teacher seems a little bit like professor trelawney from harry potter (do i even need to specify who she is?) except with a southern drawl as well. i'll be listening to "ya'll's" all semester long. for two hours a day three times a week. welp.

after stats, i walked across campus to my next class: creative writing. fiction. i don't think i've ever been more nervous for a class in my life. aside from writing 101, i've taken all science and math classes in college. not because i'm scared of the work, but because i'm scared of actually going to figure out if this is something worth pursing (aka if it's something i'm good at). plus, letting other people read my fictional efforts makes me want to scratch my eyes out this second. seriously, my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it. i walked in and sat in the second to the last row in the middle of the room between a girl with eleven piercings from her nose and chin (i'm not judging, she actually seems pretty awesome) and a girl with a white iPhone. Sorry, but people with white iPhones immediately earn my admiration. they are classy devices. and, just as class was about to start, she entered the room. and my first thought (after my jaw promptly snapped closed) was THIS GIRL COULD BE A MODCLOTH MODEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she was wearing the most amazing vintage black knee length dress with a white ruffled color and shoulder pads. plus, adorable patterned tights and the cutest oxford brown heels that i've ever seen. oh, and a red belt. and her dark hair was pulled aside in a side pony. she is adorable.

so, of course, being the awesome person she is, she made us read our writing out loud on the first day (ohhhhhhhh shoot). of course, we didn't know we'd be writing our handwritten biographies to the class. so of course, mine was definitely a page long run on sentence of facts about myself here and there consisting of the statements that taylor swift should seriously have a restraining order against me, i am 19 and never want to turn 20, i believe in fairytales, i hated dinner, i sometimes expelled flatulence when i laughed really hard (along with my sister), i wanted my name to be maggey grace with an -ey, i spent too much money at modcloth, and i had no idea what i really wanted to do with my life except write about it in composition notebooks because my obsession with everything ultimately leads to my own demise because i can't for the life of me decide on one major. anyways, it basically sounded like someone on drugs and as people went before me, i was like shoot. everyone of these crazy cool creative writing people kept theirs "normal". i didn't even mention where i grew up or what i did in high school or who was in my family or anything as factual and normal like theirs. so when it came to be my turn, i started reading my page long run on sentence and heard laughter around the room (making me red in the face). ugh. when i finished, modcloth model beamed at me and clapped and said, "i love sentences that never seem to end. that was excellent!" um, okay. the girl after me was still laughing and began her biography with, "well, mine is not nearly as interesting but here we go." interesting? you mean out of her mind? so, moral of the story? i walked away somewhat excited.

it's only 1:00pm, but already my first day is starting off well. i could finish this blog post at the end of the day, but really, who am i kidding? everything notable just happened. and i don't think i've ever been more excited to be in a class than i am for creative writing. because reading out loud was actually somewhat... refreshing/cool/exhilarating? minus the tmi part.

Sunday, January 22

sorry for my absence, the power was out

winter decided to take its sweet time making its way to idaho (...or to everyone, it seems) but when it did, it made sure that two snow days would be inevitable, freezing rain would leave an inch thick of ice on our cars (which is terrible, might i add), a powerless night would result in eating dinner by kindle light, i'd get to have my sister in the house just before i leave, i'd have a perfectly justifiable reason to do nothing but curl up in my down blanket drinking coffee and cozying up in front of the television, and the world would look winterified. 



Wednesday, January 18

6th street hill

once upon a time, i started driving my dad's old 1983 suburu loyale. it took a lot of loops in the parking lot, trips around the triangle park, and start/stop practices in my driveway, but when i thought i could handle the real roads, i took my stick driving skills to school. the first time, it took me 25 minutes to get to school. which is... less than a mile away. within that first week, i left my english paper at home. uh oh. i was forced to drive home at lunch, alone, to get it. leaving right around the time that students were returning from lunch (i had an open period after), i ascended 6th street hill- a hill that is virtually a mountain. i started out just fine, even confident, but as i reached the halfway point of the hill, stanley (my car) started to stutter (office reference!). and...stutter it did... to a complete stop on a narrow two lane hill. i looked at the gas gauge and realized... i was out of gas. around me, cars were walking and a line of cars had formed behind me. all honking. 

i don't know when i started crying, but i think it was after calling three of my male friends and still not being able to do anything but sit there like a new 16 year old driver (i.e. idiot) while people starting poking their heads out of windows and line the street. ugh. not long after my phone calls failed me, not one, but two cops showed up. the first one came up to my window, saw my tears, and immediately froze. i guess a crying hormonal 16 year old girl is slightly unnerving. he asked me if everything was alright (...clearly not) and what seemed to be the problem ("i have no idea! i just learned how to drive stick and i think i'm out of gas and blah blah blah blah!"). finally, he made some fancy cop hand signals to the cop below him and turned to me and asked if i could put the car in neutral and reverse the car down the hill. wait, what's neutral!? by now, dozens of high school students were returning to school. the first cop parked at the top of the hill and the second car parked at the very bottom. embarrassing. still crying, i figured out what neutral meant and let my car roll... slowly down the hill. slowly. 

a chorus of applause rang in my head when i made it down safely and my car was hidden from public eye and could not disturb the public any longer. 

today, i woke up to a foot of snow outside. now a pretty experienced stick driver three years later, i reversed my car out of the driveway today elated that i drove a suburu (and laughed at the beetles and two wheel drive sedans roaming the streets) with four wheel drive. yes! somehow, i managed to completely forget my terrible relationship with 6th street hill and found myself at the top of it... with only one way out: to go down. going 5 miles per hour, i managed my way halfway down and just like the first time at 16, it seemed i was going to make it. until 3/4 of the way down, i was suddenly fishtailing. and suddenly perpendicular to the hill. and then completely flipped around now facing the trick that had been behind me. luckily, he seemed to have some amount of intelligence in his head and had stopped when i started fishtailing. 

my car stopped, dead in the middle of the hill for the second time in my life (two times too many and one more than i ever intended after the first experience). luckily, i had gas. and i started stanley up again and he started perfectly. i turned the car around easily and made my way down. because only in idaho is fishtailing and sliding down a hill just a normal obstacle in your day.

Monday, January 16

i held every breath for you

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When I packed up my belongings and excitedly (...okay, and nervously, too) moved to Montana, I don't think I quite understood the landscape I was leaving. Growing up in one place for your entire life kind of makes you forget that the rest of the world doesn't have everything your hometown does. In my case, the thing I missed most when I left and realized that the rest of the world didn't have them was the rolling hills that Idaho has to offer. Every single time I come home, I kind of get lost in the magic of descending into my little hometown nestled between the rolling hills. Montana is beautiful and their mountains are more impressive than the ones found in my hometown in Idaho, but there's something irreplaceable about being able to drive through the back country between the hills.
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I think that's part of what makes me unmotivated about taking blog pictures in Montana. I just love taking pictures in Idaho too much. It seems like they always turn out pretty. Which is largely due to those rolling hills that aren't found anywhere else. But, truly. It's hard not to be inspired living in such a place. I guess going back to Montana is going to take some extra effort!
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I'm kind of obsessed with how these pictures turned out. As Niklaas was taking them, he kept saying, "Oh my gosh." Which basically translates to, "These are really amazing." The bad thing about getting such good pictures is that I can't post all of them and narrowing them down is so tough! If you all aren't sick of my red tights yet, I'm going to keep wearing them. I'm absolutely obsessed with them. Walking around downtown has definitely attracted a lot of stares (not my intention at all) and is kind of embarrassing, but I love them. This black, white, and red trend I have going might not stop. Hehehe!
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Niklaas was wearing a really adorable outfit when we went out that afternoon, so of course I had to take a few pictures. I tweeted a picture from instagram and I loved your comments! I think it's been kind of awesome to see how his taste in clothing has changed, too. It's not very different, but he definitely isn't a strictly flannel boy anymore. I'll be honest, a boy in khaki skinnies, boat shoes, cardigan, and button down pretty much does it for me. In my college classes, I tend to text my best friends about well dressed cute boys in my class and secretly hope to befriend them all. I can't really imagine dating a boy unlike Niklaas in that way! *swooon*
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Speaking of Montana... I go back to school in one week. I really shouldn't be complaining because my six week winter break is longer than, well... everyones. I've pretty much done nothing over break. I'm not sure how getting back into the swing of a schedule is going to go but I'm really not looking forward to nor excited for a new semester. Excited to move out of my parents house again? Yes. Excited to see my roommates? Yes. School? NO. I guess that's the difference between sophomore and freshmen year.
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I got this dress last spring. As in... almost a year ago. Oops. One of my New Years resolution is to keep wearing all of my clothes. I got better at it, but there are still a lot of things that don't get worn. I tend to be a phase girl and by that I mean that when I like something, such as an outfit, I'll wear 10 variations of it for a month straight. It's true. This dress and these tights might be my January/February phase. I'm in love! I left these heels at home over the fall semester and I pulled them out of the back of my closet at home last week and have since worn them twice. T-strap heels = the best!
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Anyways, I hope you guys liked these pictures as much as I love them! Sometimes, I can't believe what a lucky girl I am. Thank you, Niklaas!!! <3 You are the best-dressed-greatest-photographer-adorable-boyfriend ever.
Outfit:
Dress & Tights- Modcloth
Shoes- Urban Outfitters
Bow- Forever21

Sunday, January 15

the notebook

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i remember the first time i ever watched the notebook. and no, it wasn't with a boy. it was with my sister. i was probably no older than 15 and by the end of the movie, i was almost laughing. the thought that two people one year older than me fell in "love" was amusing. i didn't believe in it. needless to say, i hated the movie and i definitely thought that fairytales and fantasies were a joke. fast forward two years, and i watched it again. i don't know if it was the age difference (although that very well might be the case) but for some reason, i found that i liked it. and maybe a little part of me hoped that fairytales did exist. clearly not to girls like me, however, who was nearly 18 and had never even kissed a boy (a fact i never admitted to anyone). but there was a small sliver of hope inside me that hoped that maybe they exist in the far, far future. and that small bit of me watched the notebook every single time it was on television and even recorded it to my DVR.

not even six months later, i got one. a real live fairytale. i think people tend to undermine teenage relationships (me included) because 99% of the time, they don't last and no one really thinks that a 17 year old can know anything about "love" when they've only known each other for a few months. however, i gained more than just a brief summer 'romance' so to speak and more than a cliche lovey-dovey fairytale. i gained a best friend. a really, really good friend. and that's what my fairytale was. finding someone that i had a crush on who had a crush on me that i loved hanging out with more than anyone. someone i could watch movies with, play video games with, go shopping with, go on errands with, and sit around my house and do what i'd do alone with someone. and maybe a litttttle small piece of me thought that maybe i knew kind of what allie and noah had. a little bit.

i made niklaas watch the notebook on friday night. yeah, okay. cliche. date night. watching the notebook. aside from thinking that he just really needed to see the cutest love story ever told as someone who is a huge hopeless romantic, i really did want to see it again (with him) to enjoy the irony of it. a movie i used to hate because it portrayed romance in such a frilly, obsessive kind of way that i was now watching in a relationship with someone in a more or less similar kind of way.

but when it was over, i looked at him and realized everything i ever thought about romance and relationships was completely wrong because of that movie. it was cute, sure. we have our cute moments, sure. but a better story is a real one. one with ups and downs, falling in and out of love at different times, struggling at moments, and a lot of work. our story. and after a rough period of adjustment and resettling, i realized that i loved the place we were in at that moment. it wasn't a "notebook" kind of happy. it was better. with everything behind us (long distance, two different schedules, starting college together), we could finally just be "us" again. happy. easy. and with a future to be excited about.
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Saturday, January 14

brown and black

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I woke up this morning... to 500 followers! I've been waiting for that day for a long time and ever since taking a bit of a long term blogging break, that's probably the perfect motivation to keep me on schedule- which has been really refreshing and awesome. Anyways, I have a few things lined up for a giveaway that I'm quite excited about, so keep your eye out for that this week!
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My best friend Margaret took these pictures. She's taken the last two sets! Niklaas has been spending his winter break productively working eight hours a day, so stealing him before the sun goes down is absolutely impossible. We drove out of town to take these and in the middle of taking pictures, I saw a man with a long white beard and flannel hobbling towards us. You know I'm from a small town sheltered of real "city" characters when I instinctively thought it was a hobo/serial killer/college girl prowler. He was, of course, neither of these things but a friendly house owner who thought we were broken down. Oopsies!
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I walked into the living room yesterday wearing this and my mom just looked at me and said, "Brown and black, Maggie?"Like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Personally, I've always thought brown and black do go well together and no one proves that better than Tieka. Plus, I hate those dresses that have an awkward waist line and all of my belts are brown. So what are you going to do? I got pretty unlucky with my Modcloth Christmas haul. This dress along with another out of the three I received tore and ripped in places within the first day of wearing them. This dress had a button in the back which fell off and the seam also unraveled in my own fingers. Ugh! Well, I'm spending this weekend reading (...of course), hanging out with Niklaas (yay for not being sick anymore), and watching Vampire Diaries. I'm obsessed.
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Outfit:
dress- Modcloth
shoes- Urban Outfitters
tights- the Gap
belt- Modcloth
bow- Forever21

Friday, January 13

the fault in our stars


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two nights ago, i picked up my kindle and downloaded "the fault in our stars" by john green. i had no idea what i was getting myself into. i think it was maybe fate that i had no idea what it was about- for the first time, i didn't obsess over the few blurbs about the book i'd seen on the internet nor try to seek out little facts. i knew nothing about it.

like niklaas pointed out to me today while i was nagging incessantly at him to read it, it isn't rare that i'll read a book in one sitting. it just tends to happen. especially when i'm on winter break and niklaas is sick and i have nothing else to do in an empty house except read. constantly.

i'm not a big crier. i'll tear up in books and get sad watching movies, but i've never shed more than three tears in a story. the fault in our stars? not the case. before the book was even nearing the end, i was blubbering. by the end of the book, i was facedown-in-my-pillowcase-shoulders-shaking sobbing. real sobs. it was unbelievable.

i'm not going to tell you anything about this story because i think it's one of those stories that you should go into without any prior judgements or knowledge. it made a difference. but i will say this. it was one of those sad books that isn't good because it's sad (like so many books i read). it's good because of everything surrounding the sad, everything building up to it, and everything after it. the sadness is oddly uplifting and so completely and beautifully written in such an honest way that sets it apart from every other "sad" story. because even though it's sad, it really isn't. it's so much more than a sad story. it's laugh out loud funny. the characters are so unique and crazy but still relatable. it answers so many questions about life and death without being obvious. it's subtle. and perfect. the entire story is just so "real" that by the end, you really do forget the rest of the world.

do yourself a favor and read this book. now. this second. go. you won't regret it. put it at the top of your list.



Wednesday, January 11

Red Lips

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A little less than two years ago, I started a blog. I didn't know what I wanted to do with it and I didn't know where I wanted to go with it, but I was obsessed with the incredibly stylish and more importantly, confident girls with blogs. These girls wore crazy prints and crazy tights, had amazing lives, and wrote about their lives in such a fascinating way. I wanted to be able to walk out the door with their confidence. I wanted to be able to walk into my high school wearing something that no one else would wear. I wanted to wear the clothes hanging in my closet with tags hanging on them that I never dared to wear. I was so inspired by these girls that at first, my blog wasn't about wearing clothes. It was simply a way to document my life through pictures (and it's been the best gift in the world to be able to look back on memories from two years ago with such a vivid recount).
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For me, blogging isn't about the clothes. It never has been. It's not about posing "cutely" in "cute" dresses. It might seem that way. In fact, that's why I've never really broadcasted my secret little blog that is becoming less secret by the day. For me, it's always been about figuring out who I was. If I could become the person I wanted to be to the outside world, I would be more confident and happy. And I did just that. It's a little corny to say that I "blossomed", but when I started blogging, I became a more outgoing, more confident, happier me. I became the me that I have always wanted to be. Now that I've found that, I blog because it's a passion and something that's fun for me. It's just fun! I blog with the intent of (hopefully) inspiring others to think they are awesome enough to step outside as the person they are on the inside. Corny, but so blissfully true. It's truly made the biggest difference in my life to be the weird, loud, happy person I am now.
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I guess I'm talking about all of this because this was the first "casual" dress I ever purchased. By that I mean that it was the first dress I ever bought that wasn't for a dance or formal event. I bought it after I found fashion blogs and I dared myself to try it out. I'd never worn a dress to school until that day. I'd never worn a pair of tights until that day. But I did! Some, actually a lot, of people took notice of the change from jeans and a tshirt to a dress, green cardigan, and leggings. It was crazy! I took "blog" pictures for the first time in this dress and posted it on chictopia. From there, the rest kind of came naturally.
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I'm getting so choked up writing all of this! I spent a lot of time this weekend rereading so many old posts (notably: the story of Niklaas and I! I teared up) and I just can't believe how many of you have been a part of the process. I'm not what I consider a crazy successful blogger- but at the same time, I wouldn't want it to be anything else. If I'm never, ever sponsored again, I'd be fine with that. I'm excited about where it's going and I feel like it's really just starting. The day I blog for a different purpose aside from making me happy is the day I give it up. Thank you all for the support! I definitely owe you all a blog giveaway sometime in the near future.
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Outfit:
Dress- Forever 21
Tights- Modcloth
Sweater- Forever 21
T-Strap heels- Urban Outfitters

Monday, January 9

people

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when i was a freshmen in high school, i had this best friend. i thought this person was the greatest person on the planet and oh my goodness, she just understood me perfectly. we could talk for hours and they would listen to everything i had to say and was always there for me! eventually, other people started to realize how awesome this person was, too. and then we moved to the big high school and a lot of people started to realize how pretty this person was as well. they were the complete package. but i still felt special even as this person was surrounded by so many people because, "maggie, sometimes i think you're the only person that understands me. so and so does this and this and just doesn't get it!". i felt special when i saw my name on this person's lunch calendar. i felt special when this person talked about all of her other friend's and all the cruel things they did to them. and then the day happened when it felt like everyone was calling this person their best friend... and then the day happened when i got stood up. and stood up again. and three times. and then this person had a significant other in their life who was a senior and just "so cool". and i realized that i wasn't unique. not to this person who never asked to make plans with me and never called me first. it was a one way friendship and i killed myself to always be there for this person when i had to be scheduled, and often skipped, into their day.

it was a big lesson but maybe one of the best lessons i ever experienced in high school. it took one person to really show me what being a friend was and what being a friend was not. and as soon as i realized how much of a one way friendship it had become, it was over. sure, there was some drama and it ended in a way i wouldn't have chosen with too many parties involved and ugly words, but from that point forward, i decided i wouldn't accept anything less in a friendship than i deserved. we all deserve friends that pick us up and don't even have to ask if you need them to be there for you, they just are. we deserve friends that care enough to pick up the phone as well. effort goes both ways.

two years out of college, my friendships are changing again. the people i valued so much in high school are changing. of course, this is to be expected. people change. can i blame them? not really. we all make new friends and create new lives for ourselves. in a way, i can't really expect the same people to stick around. at the same time, the disappointment of unanswered texts/emails/messages always hurts.

there are people i thought i'd always be close to. i think that's what's most surprising and disappointing. but, in spite of everything, i've also realized recently that there are people i wouldn't have expected to become even more close to after high school. i spent last week with people that were casual friends in high school and maybe it's silly that i'm only now realizing what amazing people they are now that we've graduated, but it doesn't change the fact that they're the ones that come back time and again over every single school break. and they're the ones that are growing as people and will grow with me as i navigate this "growing up" phase in my life. it's strange. but somehow, reminding myself that people who want to be in your life are the ones that make themselves a presence makes me feel alright. it's all okay.

Friday, January 6

It's only love we're falling into

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I am currently in the BEST mood I've been in for probably too long. I don't even know if I could pinpoint exactly why I'm in such a fantastic mood but maybe it coincides with the fact that Niklaas is back in the country and has cell phone service? (I was more excited to be able to just text/talk to him again than I was for Christmas, honestly.) Maybe because after 4 missed Modcloth dress attempts, the perfect one arrived on my doorstep with an adorable *free* bow included? Maybe because I wore an outfit I really happened to like today and one of the cutest gay men I've ever met told me I had good style (but he hated my bangs)? Maybe because I got my butt into gear and showered before noon and did something with my day (i.e. go to a coffeeshop which was amazing, write a letter to Alex, hang out with Hailey). Whatever it is, I'm on an endorphin high and I also happen to really like my messy bun and clean room right now. (Also, I commented on 50+ blogs today and returned all of your sweet words :)!)
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One of my New Years resolution is strictly related to blogging and that is to get dressed like I don't have a blog. Ha. I can't tell you how many times I wake up, think about blog pictures later in the afternoon, and scrutinize every detail of what I'm wearing until I hate my entire wardrobe. I think I actually end up liking the outfits I wear on days I'm not taking blog pictures more and I want to take more pictures of those days. Today happened to be one of those days. And my last post, too. And the one before that. Blogging is supposed to be fun not stressful! I'm on a positive frenzy today. It might be getting out of hand, guys.
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This outfit began with the simple double scoop dress with the purpose of serving a productive day for me (dressing up always means productive in my world). And then I put on the most recent crazy tight addition to the crazy tights Maggie family. And then the scarf Niklaas got me for my graduation two years ago because it was soft. And because I knew a cold back never means productive, a cardigan. And then I decided I really liked the end product and I really wanted to see my best friend Hailey so I could freak out about one of our...erm, mutual friends getting engaged and my boyfriend taking that person's engagement pictures so then she ended up taking outfit pictures for me downtown. Huzzah! What a hyped up sentence that was. So, as you can see, this is the kind of thing I wear on a day to day basis. Truly!
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After a full week of outfit posts, I have to admit, I miss the usual life posts I got into the routine of posting. Maybe if I get really organized I'll start posting three outfits in a week and the normal two to three life-y ones. Now that's organization! We'll see. Whatever you see next is just as much of a surprise for you as it is for me! Bye love bugs <3
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don't be scared, it's only love we're falling into.
Outfit
Dress- Urban Outfitters
Scarf- Gift
Cardigan-Delias
Tights- Urban Outfitters
Shoes- Urban Outfitters