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Showing posts with label break. Show all posts
Showing posts with label break. Show all posts

Monday, April 7

That time I quit blogging for a month

The fact is, this semester has just plain sucked. I haven't been my best self. I've been self loathing. I've overindulged in my own problems. I've let a crappy professor dictate how I feel about my writing. I've complained and complained and complained without doing anything about it. I stopped blogging because I knew I was just being a turd. I knew I'd dealt with much bigger problems and yet I let dinky ones get in the way of happiness. I don't know what feeling bad for myself for a month means but when it finally all just become silly, I did something about it. And then life became better.

In two weeks, I've gotten a job as a barista, scored an internship for this spring and into next summer, started volunteering at a nursing home, and returned back to hiking and running again. The action of doing something rather than sitting at home in bed with my journal and a sweet boyfriend to complain to made all the difference. 

So, I guess I'm back. I'm back and I miss blogging and I sort of miss my old self. I'm ready to do again. Chalk it up to a winter that never ended, a professor tell me I sucked, a series of migraines and colds that didn't seem to end, stuffing as many credits as possible into a semester so I can study abroad next spring, or immaturity- but a month of doing nothing proved to be the kick in the pants I needed. 

A couple weeks ago, while I was volunteering, I wasn't anxious to make the rounds to the ward of the nursing home of older folks who aren't active or talkative. It's hard to watch people who seem to have given up, but it's harder to watch people who seem to have given up because they've reached the stage of their life where their reasons for living exist only in their past. However, as I made my way down the hallway, one gentleman sat in his wheelchair outside his room. I've met him once and he barely smiled when I introduced himself. I knew his family lived states away and he spent most of his time reading alone. This time, though, I said hi and asked if he wanted to play a board game. 

He looked at me and said, "Girlie, you don't look old enough to ask a man if he wants to play a board game." 

He followed this statement with a wink and then looked me directly in the eye. I stared in shock and then, at the same time, we both started laughing. It was the only reminder I needed. Life is too serious to take so seriously sometimes.
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Thursday, October 18

it's tuesday? i mean wednesday? wait, thursday!?

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this week has been a big giant blur.

i spent all week working on something obsessively (which will be revealed monday)(that is, if i'm accepted!).

thankfully, as of right now, all has been said and done and i took myself out for a celebratory iced starbucks drink because regardless i can say i tried. no matter what, i'm taking risks right now and i had to stop and remind myself that these risks are good. i've accomplished more in six months than i have in two years and i'm pushing myself in places i have always wanted to go.

another thing i have to remember? just because i'm choosing to focus on writing right now and sidestep my college track just a bit and although it's the thing i'm good at and love, it doesn't mean it's just going to all come easily. i forgot that. there will be mean people out there and there will be the occasional bad grade but in the end, the fact that i believe in myself whereas i didn't necessarily in the pre-med world, just means i will come out on top. i know it. 

i'm sorry for the minuscule blogging break but i'll be back at it next week and i'm also writing an article for an online magazine right now and working on more photography projects so YAY to all of the above! you all rock. you won't see me around these parts over the weekend but perhaps you will on this blog when i finish coding her layout ;). she's a HOOT, i tell you.

Sunday, January 22

sorry for my absence, the power was out

winter decided to take its sweet time making its way to idaho (...or to everyone, it seems) but when it did, it made sure that two snow days would be inevitable, freezing rain would leave an inch thick of ice on our cars (which is terrible, might i add), a powerless night would result in eating dinner by kindle light, i'd get to have my sister in the house just before i leave, i'd have a perfectly justifiable reason to do nothing but curl up in my down blanket drinking coffee and cozying up in front of the television, and the world would look winterified.