Wednesday, August 8

Let's talk about something...

I can't lie and say that in the weeks following our break-up, I started to wonder how exactly I was going to keep up my blogging momentum without a photographer boyfriend. I wasn't panicking nor was I self centered enough to be concerned about the demise of my blog as I knew it; it was more that I curious as to exactly how I was going to make it work. Well, three months later, boy did it work and dare I might say...better? That's not to harp on his photography (which is beautiful), but I always did feel a little bit guilty stealing time on our "dates" to "pretty please come take pictures of me for my blog". In retrospect, it doesn't seem like taking ten minutes out of a date would be of any nuisance (and maybe I'm wrong and Niklaas never felt any strain on our time together because I asked if he would take pictures for me) but for me, it definitely started to impact what we did together and I'm ashamed to admit that. If I ever date someone who is a photographer again, I probably won't ask them to take pictures for me unless it's a very infrequent occurrence because who wants to date a girl who wants to go to dinner only at a selected location that's close to a wall she really likes to take pictures in front of?

So how did I make it work? Naturally after a break-up, suddenly I had more time and in that time, I busied myself with my friends (and spent more time with them than I did before, sadly) and with new hobbies. I have found that it has become so much easier to not have to rely on someone to always take my pictures but to instead make it work as it fits. I usually don't plan out shoots anymore nor do I really think about what I'm wearing before I go out. These days, I tend to get dressed as I normally would and if there's a pause in my evening I either beg my sister while we're on an errand to pull over to snap a few pictures or call a friend right then and there to go out with me somewhat spontaneously (and most are willing because they're awesome people). What's crazy is how well this is actually working out and how I'm posting more regularly than ever before. I tend to shift from my sister to either one of my friends; Margaret, Julianne, and Omni. I'm not really sure how to explain the difference between calling a friend to take my pictures and taking time out of our hang out session to and asking Niklaas to do it and taking time out of our date, but I think it largely has to do with the frequency in which one person does it.

As I move into the school year, I've invested in a better tripod and I'm hoping that I can still steal some of my friends between their school work to snap pictures. But if not, I've learned in this process how to go with the flow and I'm actually more proud of my blog and the work I have put into it than I was before because it's 100% my responsibility now.

11 comments:

Girl and Closet said...

Such a great post and as a blogger... oh my goodness, I couldn't agree more - I've started to depend less & less on Martin for taking my photos, and I've started taking my own. When we do shoot together it's always unplanned and just really go with the flow, like it'll either work or not, and I no longer (thank god!) plan my evenings close to fabulous walls!! ;)

PS - I've been loving all of your posts lately lady, you're doing an amazing job with your blog!! xo V

Jasmine said...

LOVE THIS.
This is going to be me really really really soon, but luckily I've mastered the tripod :) Let me know if you want some tips! But I'm so proud of you and how far you've come Maggie! Ah! Seriously--this whole Summer has been amazing for you! I loved your blog before, but now it's just...even more wonderful/amazing/lovely/etc! :) But for a while I did feel a strain when I would ask Robert to take my pictures because we would make purposeful stops in our day to do it. It wasn't natural at all, but now I think it is more natural and I like it a lot better. Though when he leaves, I'm not really sure how natural it'd be to just set up my tripod but I hope I can make it work :) If not, I just might have to kidnap you here and we can take our blog pictures together!

Beautifully Pure said...

Good for you! I think that having to be self reliant with outfit photos is a great thing! I've heard of so many bloggers who don't like taking photos without their significant other (read photographer) and it always makes me so glad that I'll never have that problem since I've never had the luxury of having one person take them for me! Your photos are great and your blog is still amazing - if not more so! - after the breakup!

I'm so glad everything is going well for you. :D

Elanor said...

I feel like no one in the blogger world has EVER mentioned the whole "boyfriend taking my photos, but now we broke up" aspect! Holy crap! I know EXACTLY what you mean about asking for photos on dates etc.

For me and Nat, it became a problem. Early in our relationship, he acted like he wanted to do it and he was all willing...but into the months leading up to the breakup, he got annoyed any time I asked and basically told me one day that he felt like I was using him. And that sort of hurt to hear that that's how he felt...

Anyway, for me, I've been using my tripod more and in all actuality, I love how the photos turn out more now that I have a remote and a sturdy tripod (and of course my new lens)

Eeps long comment. Well anyway Maggie, I love this post!
xx

DawnieP said...

I think it's great that you're finding a new momentum and a new mojo to your blogging. It's always a readjustment after break ups but I'm really glad you've found a way to make it work!

dp
x

www.inanityandthegirl.com

Amanda said...

I feel like a lot of emphasis in the blogging world is put on the 'perfect picture taking boyfriend'. I know I felt the same when whenever me and Gavin broke up, "who is going to take my pictures now??" But really, it's kinda awesome only having to depend on yourself for that stuff.

Count To Four said...

i think its great that you've found a way to enjoy it and get it done :) and it sounds like you have lovely friends and sister! for me i'm lucky cause i have three other sisters that i'm working on the blog with so we just take each others' photos.

http://www.counttofour.com

Little Tree Vintage said...

ugh. i know the feeling, I actually just wrote about this on my blog. it's extremely difficult going through a breakup, especially when you post things online and that person constantly helped you during the process. i have moments where it makes me feel completely alone, but all i can do is just move forward. i hope you find the same strength <3

I dont know if it'll help reading my post, but know you're not alone.

http://www.littletreevintage.com/2012/07/youd-break-your-neck-to-keep-your-chin.html

SomeoneLikeYou said...

Maggie,

You are my role model for so many aspects in life. It sounds weird to say, but I truly do love you ♥

Thank you for everything you write about! x

Bethany Kellen of bunnypicnic said...

the photos have been looking really great! i take all mine myself!

Megan said...

Brendan has never been keen to take my blog photos so from very early on I have had to learn to do it myself. My photos aren't the greatest but as you said they are mine and I like that.