the light of my lantern

i always thought i was a left-brained person. i always thought that if you followed the rules and put your brain before your heart, you'd be safe in the end. in a way, i was envious of the people who could give everything their entire heart and take so many risks because i'd always been so calculated in my decisions. however, i realize now that i think i was in denial. there are some things you can fight and some you just simply can't. i'm not a left-brained person. i may try to keep myself safe from the world, but it's really no use. when i fall, i fall. i'm not left-brained at all (well, maybe enough to earn me a degree in biology when i graduate). i'm a daydreamer. i write. and i fall in love, hard. no matter if i should or shouldn't. i'm not denying it anymore. and i'm not ashamed.

miss taylor charles has always been one of those people that i gave a lot of credit to. that girl has some serious heart and she always gets back on her feet when i probably wouldn't be able to do the same. she's really amazing that way. she's a hopeless romantic and loves love, like i do. i love that. i love people that are so genuinely themselves. like miss taylor swift says, beauty is sincerity. amen! i'll take sincerity over almost anything in a person. 

i'll be honest, i can't take any credit for this outfit. i stole the idea straight from http://girlsack.com/. i'm a huge fan girl over here of her blog and when she replied to my ask, i about died. i have this $30 rule where i hate spending more than $30 on an article of clothing unless it's on sale, something i've been wanting for more than a month, or something that's worth the investment. this button down fit all the criteria and when it was on sale a couple weeks ago, i snatched it up from jcrew. worth the investment? definitely. worth pairing with different patterns? absolutely. i love it. and doesn't idaho look beautiful in these pictures?! 

thank you taylor! isn't she adorable?

Outfit:

shirt- Jcrew

skirt & belt- Francessca's Collections

wedges- Urban Outfitters

did you know?

...that john mayer lived in montana for the past two years? approximately two hours from where i have lived for the past four semesters of college!? um. what. if i had known this, i would have spent my weekends driving on every dirt road in montana peeking through the windows of various enormous ranches until i found him.

...the duck penis is an entire 16 inches long and is cork-screw shaped. seriously. and basically, every female duck is raped during reproduction which is why the male reproductive organ is so long.

...finding a place to live and the entire "apartment/housing application process" is ridiculously frustrating. the rejection you face when you didn't get the house or the apartment that you'd already meticulously planned where your future goodwill-ed furniture would go is worse than being rejected by any guy.

...the worst way to go into a test is knowing that you have a three day weekend ahead. i'm going to be antsy the entire 75 minutes. oh, and it's also made studying nearly impossible and the ten hours i've clocked feel like the most unproductive hours of studying i've ever spent.

...cash from mom to buy dinner when you're going to be in pullman from 7am to 9pm is kind of the best part about being home. i miss those crisp bills but receiving them on the rare occasion these days makes them all the more meaningful and enjoyable. yeah, i'm happy to be one of those college kids that doesn't get fed money on the weekly while i'm gone.

...making new friends feels like freshmen year, but it's kind of the most rewarding experience around when you make a friend that just clicks. especially when they also work in your lab and you spend 30+ hours a week between class and work together. fate, kids!

have a swell  friday.

guest post from charlotte!

I'm taking the next couple days of blogging off to study and focus on other things to get myself organized! Charlotte is absolutely fantastic and was kind enough to fill in for me! She's one of my favorites and just how amazing is she at wearing colored jeans!? Yeah... I'm going to have to try it myself! Enjoy!

Hi readers of Lifesize Paperdoll! I'm Charlotte and I blog over at girl next door fashion. You might remember Maggie blogging for me a couple of weeks ago when I was up to my eyes in revision, and today I am returning the favour. I have just finished my degree (!) so right now I have a few weeks to kill before I start my summer job in New Jersey.

When Maggie blogged for me a few weeks ago, she mentioned in her post how much she loved my mint jeans, so I thought I would dedicate my post to my love of coloured denim. Up until a few months ago, I was a committed denim-a-phobe. I even took on a challenge of wearing denim every day for a week (which I found incredibly difficult!) after someone mentioned the lack of jeans in my wardrobe. As a typical pear shape and sufferer of short-legs-long-body syndrome, I had long since brushed jeans off as not being very "me" and not suiting my body shape, and instead chose to frolic around in dresses and skirts. But then I discovered coloured denim and my life was changed forever. I still love my skirts and dresses, but now I have a whole new collection of clothing in my arsenal and I love it.

My first foray into coloured jeans came in September, right on the cusp of autumn winter, and during that phase where I, like everyone else, was obsessed with anything mustard or maroon. Mustard jeans were just too great an opportunity to miss. When I first opened them, I expected I'd wear them a couple of times before realising they didn't get along too well with my thighs and I would guiltily banish them to the back of my wardrobe. How wrong I love. These pants were amazing. Colourful enough to be fun, but dark enough to be a neutral. I couldn't believe how versatile they were. I soon added a pair of maroon trousers to my collection.

For a while, my coloured jeans collection stayed at my mustard ones and my maroon pants, until I was approached by Matalan to take part in their coloured jeans contest. Well, I couldn't say no to that now could I? I welcomed the coral pair to my collection, and over the last few months, I have added bright pink, peach, and my beloved mint to my collection.

But how do you wear coloured denim? Believe me, I was nervous the first time! Here are my tips on how to wear coloured pants!

1. Choose a colour that works well with your wardrobeMy wardrobe is mainly warm colours- pinks, reds, peaches etc. so the addition of coral and mustard jeans worked perfectly for me. I would also say to start subtle- bright blues, mustard yellows, maroons and bottles greens are great options to start with as they're not too in-your-face. After a while you can move onto bright pinks and corals like me!
2. Find a great fitLike all jeans, a great fit is essential. My bright pink ones are a little too big for me, which affects how comfortable I feel wearing them. You want to feel as confident as possible so shop around for your perfect pair.
3. Start simpleFor the most part, I like to pair my coloured jeans with neutrals- beige, black, cream, nude. I find that is the best way to really make your jeans stand out, and avoid looking like you have too much going on.

4. Got your confidence up? Then have fun!The best big of advice I can give you is to not let coloured jeans intimidate you. Wear them just as you would wear any other kind of jeans- with a white shirt and a blazer for a sophisticated chic, with a band tshirt for a lazy day, with a pretty top and heels for the evening. Have fun with colour blocking, or adding prints. Prints are easy to master, especially if you find a pattern that incorporates the colour of the jeans, or by wearing a "neutrals" print such as black and white stripes or leopard print.
Have you ever worn coloured jeans? How do you like to wear them?

his style

sometimes it's really nice to have a boyfriend who dresses well. and i'm not talking about just the occasional time when you want to fake pretend like you're as cute as summer and tom or chuck and blaire. i'm talking about the times when you're too busy with summer school and two jobs to wear a skirt let alone put on any makeup whatsoever (...it's actually not so bad this never getting ready gig and i think i'm growing fond of it). i've been snapping photos of niklaas for the past month or so every time we've gone out never really knowing what i'd do with them but today i think i found the perfect solution.

yes, i think he dresses pretty well, even if my little sister would say that it draws questions about his sexual orientation (i beg to differ, that's just idaho for you). and yes, i may have bought a navy gingham button down blouse for myself after seeing him wear his in so many creative ways. i'm obsessed. and on more than one occasion, i've stolen his band tshirts which doesn't make him too happy (they're so soft). and a cardigan here and there. it's lucky i'm dating him because i think we might have some problems if i gawked at someone else who dressed that well as much as i do at niklaas. but then again, maybe i'm a little biased.

needless to say, i'm quite fond of his style transformation since high school.

true or false

• i spent the weekend mostly in my sports bra and only showered once.
• i spent the weekend mostly being social including one sleepover and one day spent taking pictures.
• i spent the weekend mostly drinking coffee in copious amounts.
• i spent the weekend mostly shopping online and trying to find a one piece swimsuit.
• i spent the weekend mostly annoyed with my sister who is far more stressed about high school than i am about college.
• i spent the weekend mostly trying to push my statistics mediocre final grade out of my mind and my sad gpa because of it.
• i spent the weekend mostly hating my bangs.
• i spent the weekend mostly skyping my friends from school who have cats. 
• i spent the weekend mostly worrying about things ending someday the way they did for her.
• i spent the weekend mostly avoiding my blog and being jealous of my really photogenic friend.
• i spent the weekend mostly listening to my old burned cd's from 8th grade. vanessa carlton for the win.
• i spent the weekend mostly wishing i knew where i was going to live next year and whether i'd have a vehicle to get me there and to school and back.
• i spent the weekend mostly doing my homework and studying for my next summer school exam.

*only one is false. 

how to be happy on a wednesday morning

• set your alarm for 7am the night before, but don't actually get out of bed until 7:45am. 
• immediately put on your running gear (but do so slowly and make sure you are wearing your most fluorescent colors) and make a workout playlist with your favorite songs of the moment you can't stop listening to (it'll make you so excited to push play).
• ask your mother politely to leave a fresh pot of coffee for you for when you get back.
• run run run!!!! you'll feel so good after three morning runs in a row. and there's nothing better than a crisp morning in the spring. make sure to do your ab workouts at the top of the hill, even if you're huffing and puffing to the point that you want to puke (again). hey, at least you get to lay down for ab workouts, right?!
• come home and go with your dad to get gas because you tend to leave that for the very last second (12.783 galloons in a ~12 gallon tank? it was close, guys).
• realize when all the cheerios are gone and you got up early to go running, you deserve a little bit of a splurge and go for making yourself pancakes. trust me, it's way easier and way more fun to make pancakes for one than an entire family.
• seeing your baby sister who really isn't your "baby sister" anymore who just got her braces off before she goes to school. it feels like you never really get older, but your siblings change before your eyes. how is it that she'll be 18 in a matter of months!?
• even though it's only been six days since your last final and you have your first exam of summer school, you pretty much studied way more than you normally would have and actually made flash cards and did them so you know it's going to be a five star day in the end.

him & her: spring

"

thanks again, danielle!!!

it was a lot of fun to take pictures with you and i'm

excited to take more with you this summer!

we might be getting down the whole picture thing...trust me, it used to be awful.  the age old question seems to be: what do i do with my hands!? it turned out to be pure coincidence that  we wore red accents which worked pretty darn well if i do say so myself. also, it should be mentioned that if my sister is reading this and any other real life lurkers: i apologize for the pda. it's only reserved for the camera, promise. 

i'm struck every day by how awesome it is that i get to take this kid with me to college and take him back home for the summer. sometimes when we're at school together, i forget that we came from the same high school and share the same home town. it isn't like we're one couple here at home and another away at school, but it's so easy to forget where we started from as just two kids from a small town that had a crush. i see my friends at the beginning stages of their relationships sometimes and see how giddy they are and sometimes almost miss that newness, but then i realize i'm more comfortable around niklaas than any of my friends and that is something only two years of friendship can give and i'm happy. it really just gets better and better, friends!

Modcloth Dainty Squid dress

Red F21 tights

uo black flats

jcrew blazer & pants

h&m shirt & cardigan

uo oxfords

ascot thrifted

things i learned today

being too ambitious when you haven't worked out in two weeks and it's already 75 degrees at 9:30am and you are already dehydrated equals a terrible run and nearly passing out on the side of the road after making it up the terrible awful hill. yes, that happened. the kind old man who was doing yard work hurried over to me when i nearly collapsed on the curb and asked if i was alright. and then proceeded to ask if i needed water. do old people apply to the 'don't talk to strangers' rule? i said no, after considering what would happen if he took me inside and chopped me up with his steak knives or shot me with his Idahoan gun, and once i regained normal eye sight and could breathe regularly again, walked the rest of the way home.

it's not a good idea to forget to brush your teeth and also make yourself late to class so that by the time you make it, you smell like you just played in a soccer game and your breath smells like coffee. oops. i guess it worked, though, because not only did i get my new friend's name, but her phone number as well! huzzah! (making new friends in a forced manner way makes me feel like a freshmen again)(...i don't like it now any more than i did then). also, choosing the girl with the Vet Club tshirt on is always a safe bet. animal people are always safe.

i thought my parents were embarrassing in high school when they would pick me up in front of the school, but today i saw a mother actually get out of her car and stand a foot away from the school entrance doors to wait for her high school student to come outside. oh lord. let's never be that parent. however, being walked to my first summer class by my dad in college felt okay (better than okay! it was a blast!), so maybe it's just high school that's bad? yes.

it's always a bad idea to listen to your all time favorite songs when you are going through a rough time or really unhappy because you'll listen to them a year later on the radio and be reminded of it. again, again, and again as the chorus is played.

running into people you went to high school with but were never really friends with but still obviously recognize and know never gets better. it just gets more weird the older we get.

don't wear your new jcrew button down to class no matter if you're trying to appear nice and approachable through clothing because it will just happen to be the day it reaches above 80 degrees for the first time and you'll sweat all the way home through that new shirt. it's unfortunate.

*clearly, if these are the extent of my problems, i'm doing okay and don't have much to worry about.
** still, viable lessons, kiddos.

guest post!

helllllooooo!

i'm guest posting today over at the very lovely blog owned

by miss charlotte! 

i talked about niklaas and my two year anniversary

and how we celebrated and i wore

one of my very favorite dresses!

her blog is awesome! and i adore her to pieces.
i'm so happy that this has made us better friends
because she's an awesome girl from the UK that i'm
excited to get to know even better!
(and the way she wears mint/colored jeans!? AHH!)

hey mom

i think you're kind of the best mom in the world, but that's what we're supposed to say. i think you're the prettiest mom in the world, too, but that's also what we're supposed to say. but, you know, both of those things are very true.

thank you for always having my back, standing up to my bullies and teaching me to stand up for myself. thank you for becoming more than a mom as i grow up, but a best friend, too. i don't know how i could have gotten through the year without your phone calls while i cried on the other end of the line and just listened. you always know what to say. you're pretty great. i love that i know for a fact sophie and i are your world and it shows. it means everything to have someone love us that much and know it.

you and dad make quite the team. i have no idea how you did it, but you two are some of the most amazing parents around. i'm so excited to grow up and for our relationship to continue to grow.

you're the best.

first day of summer

a perfect first summer day

1. woke up at 10am, mom served me coffee in bed, finished the

new episode of grey's anatomy (OH MY GOODNESS!),

and read some blogs.

2. drove (!!!) to pullman, met my dad who walked me

to my first biology class (so glad i go to a teensy

tiny campus that's completely flat), went to class, tried

to make new friends, knew everything in lecture already,

and WSU uses the same clickers we do (score!).

3. came home to a letter in the mail and 

my new splurged anthropologie headband! aye aye!

4. lunch with my momma downtown. 

5. went on an adventure with my best friend.

there's nothing prettier than the rolling hills

in the spring. walked to the top of one. 

loved every second.

blasted josh ritter in the car.

i'm home!

which means, back to regular blogging.

YES!

all good things come to an end

dear creative writing,

thank you for being the best class i've taken yet. thank you mostly to modcloth model for making it what it was; the way you structured the class and created such an open and welcoming environment for everyone was truly spectacular. for the first time in college, i found joy in the classroom again. a reason to work and a reason to find that passion in school again. i've found it in small pieces over the past four semesters, but i've never been able to put them together enough so that i could finally feel happy sitting in a desk doing what i'm doing.

thank you for making me a better person. i'm a better writer, but i'm also a better person. i learned about people, i learned about relationships of every kind, i learned about story telling, i learned tricks, and i learned a lot about me. i have no idea what kind of a writer i am or if i even am one, but i think i've figured out that i want to be one. i just have to decide what kind of writer that is. i've learned about what makes a story "a story" and i've learned not to take it so seriously; at the end of the day, a story can be told just for enjoyment. it doesn't have to "mean something" (and often times, when you try less, you achieve more). 

i got an A in your class, but i hardly cared when i opened my portfolio to see it. it was never about a grade and in a lot of ways, i've learned grades aren't what count, being pre-med isn't what counts, but that just studying and devoting time to doing something you love counts. passions matter! and i'm sick of listening to the voice in my head that says i'll never succeed if i pursue writing, that i'm a terrible writer, that i'll never go anywhere, and that i should stick with what's practical. it doesn't matter if anyone else thinks i'm a "good" writer, their opinion doesn't count. mine does. i don't think i'm a great writer but i think it's something i love and passion sometimes means more than skills.

i'm done.

and i'm now double majoring. i knew that was coming, and i didn't need a class to show me that's what i needed to do, but i did need this class to show me how i felt about it. and guess what? i'm happy.

love,

me.

may as told by instagram

the space needle // sometimes, we just happen to match? it isn't 

planned but when it does, there will probably

 be a picture taken // bored in nordstroms // i'm having 

a tough time with the 

iphone // 13 hours straight in the

 library? done // new norah jones = week made

my sperrys never want to 

stay tied // rainy days = hunters, always the 

hunters //amazing pistachio gelato from 

our two year anniversary dinner (i was so spoiled!) //

roommate sharpie tattoos // best 

dessert in the world // my roommate looks better

in my clothes than i do (and i'm okay with it)

studying in the library endlessly 

// trying new food at dinner // seattle 

*taken by niklaas* // my two favorite 

things ever: HIMYM and SPKs // vanilla

ice cream, giant cookie, serve warm // fro-yo

there are so many adorable puppies

 on campus and it's truly the best thing ever //

anthropologie accessories are my 

new favorite // stripes + bow + mustard yellow //

heaviest backpack on the smallest person

i realize i've been pretty absent around here and it's all due to finals week. some things have to take priority and finals are one of those. sorry, dearest blog, but i'll be back soon! i have 

a breakfast with my creative writing teacher tomorrow, i stayed 

up until 3am studying genetics last night and woke up at 7am this morning

to continue studying before the final. aced it? i *hope* i did. statistics is nearly

over and i couldn't be happier. i get to see my family soon!!!!

another great thing? knowing we have a summer ahead of us

to spend together at home. how amazing is it that i get to have my

best friend at school and when i come home!? it's one less friend to leave
behind when everyone parts ways for the summer.

p.s. does everyone else love may as much as i do?