Plus, there was the fact that after an empty house was made a full one for two nights, it wasn't until I got to feel its fullness that I really felt the emptiness in its entirety. And maybe I didn't want to really go back it without my sister. Not once in a month has having a house to myself to live in felt lonely until suddenly I had people in it and people to leave it.
I like this living alone stuff. It's forced me to cut the crap and grow the heck up a little bit here and there. Less dilly dallying, more work and efficiency. It's made me a more streamlined version of myself. Living all alone has been one of the best experiences I've ever had but it takes a certain amount of energy and responsibility, too, to do it all alone. My room is still borderline Hoarders due to my clothes thrown about but I'm on top of my stuff 100%. Life is organized down to the minute during the week. The money I spend is my own and boy is Seattle expensive. My dad in an email recently told me I was on the right track in life and doing it right so as I sat on the steps feeling a little bit sorry for myself, I took another second to remind myself of what I was doing. Starting a new life, if only for four months, is a big deal. At least, it's the biggest thing I've ever done on my own. I can say with complete certainty that moving to Seattle for the summer is one of those choices I made that is going to precede many other big ones to follow that I never would have made without this summer. It's completing me and filling holes I didn't even know needed to be filled.
But, I miss my family. I miss comfort. For twenty minutes on some stairs in the middle of Seattle today, I missed familiarity. And yet, when I got moving again off those dumb stairs where my pride bit the dust, I looked not at the sky but at those tall, tall buildings and thanked the city for all that it's giving me. Which, really, is everything I've ever wanted. This is my time right now, my time of independence and discovery, even if I wish I had my little sister to watch How I Met Your Mother with me tonight.
weekend pictures! honestly, we were pretty lazy. all weekend.
but sometimes those are the best weekends. target, how i met your mother,
new swimming suits,
ferry & bus rides, and a lot of good food.