Friday, February 1

this week i just didn't feel like me

this week was a weird week
it started out well. extremely well, to be sure. and then i got sick. and then two of the classes i needed to override into and even sat through two lectures of didn't pan out so i can't register for upper level english lit classes for yet another semester which had me reconsidering my choice of changing major that was so safe and predictable. then there were general bad moods, a night i only got two hours of sleep because i was so sick when i just wanted my momma, and meaningless other stresses all around to be felt. i don't like to complain or be in bad moods for very long because i start to feel guilty knowing my petty problems hardly compare to those of others' so i stayed quiet about it all. lastly, early in the week, for a solid 24 hours i thought i was done blogging forever. i sincerely did. there were a lot of reasons behind it, a lot of reasons i've mulled over for months, but in the end i know i blog for myself. i just have to remember that sometimes and not lose sight of why this blog matters to me. plus, it's just a blog, after all.

i just didn't feel like myself this week through all the negativity and self doubt. that's unlike me. and even when things aren't really that bad, i feel like when i start to lose my footing in one area of my life, i start to lose it in all. 

in light of all of that, this week finally ended and that alone gives me hope. this cold is finally getting better! i may be able to sleep without a heavy dosage of nyquil tonight! i brushed my hair before class this morning! i sang along to the music in my car even though it sent me into a coughing fit immediately after! i signed up for a different class instead i would have had to take later that didn't require a prerequisite! and i'm currently watching the newly purchased copy of pride & prejudice the bbc version i bought at walmart tonight in which i made a big fat fool of myself in my sick delirious state by talking too loudly out loud with my cat who meows at me if i stop petting him. 


Savannah Bradley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Savannah Bradley said...

Boo quarter-life crisis mode! Aw :/ we would miss you! I know how you feel. I just picked up a third major and have to create an independent research project about which I have no clue. I think I might try to anthropologically analyze Pinterest. Sometimes I look at myself and wonder why I do what I do and if I'm happy and if I even enjoy it and who I even am...(the list is endless). Some days, weeks, and months are just rough and I walk around campus feeling lost. HOWEVER, things always get better and I feel like I've been "repaired" eventually.

angelaremondi said...

Oh no! I hope things look up for you! Hard weeks suck but it sounds like you're back on track. I would defintely miss your blog so I hope you do stay!!


kylee said...

thank the heavens you didn't stop blogging. i would have died maggie, DIED! way to be positive despite all the crap, you are always so good at that.

hellolyndsey said...

Awwwwww I'm so sorry to hear that you're having an off beat week! Everyone goes through those, I've had quite a few myself. But hey, if we didn't have those then we wouldn't have the inspiration to move forward and get better :). You're a smart girl mags. You'll figure things out. THANK THA LORT YOU DIDN'T GIVE UP ON BLOGGING. my pathetic stalkerish tendencies would abruptly end and I would die.

Lizzie said...

You gotta do you, y'know?

Glad to hear you're feeling better. :)

▲my• said...

Ah! Weeks like those are awful!
I'm glad you're starting to feel better <3