however, if i'm being perfectly honest, this year takes the cake for all valentines that have been had.
the truth is, there are posts in my archives i simply can't reread. not because it makes me sad to reread old words or memories nor because it makes me necessarily nostalgic, but because it gives me a knot in my stomach remembering the me that wrote them. a me that is vastly different from this one. rereading them makes me feel weak and insecure again and it's something i've moved past without really wanting to relive.
last year, i wouldn't have been able to run seven miles. i treated myself to a new PR today and boy did it make me feel something better than any person could have made me feel on any day. i got coffee, where i embarrassingly pulled up to the window to realize i'd forgotten my wallet at home, but the cashier still gave me my coffee anyways. i went to class and had to read my story out loud to my fiction class and they enjoyed it. the professor said it was excellent. i called my dad, who couldn't believe i ran that far and we talked about running for fifteen minutes. i called my grandma and told her i loved her and would she be my valentine? i got my bangs trimmed. i bought two bags of chocolate just 'cuz. i accidentally wore festive colors.
so i'm sorry if i'm hogging all the love for myself, but this valentine's day was a treat myself day. and i loved it.