don't get me wrong, i'm completely aware of the fact that i have made a choice by blogging. if i'm going to blog about "real" things, it means that every one of those uncomfortable things are accessible by everyone i know. i'm not complaining. i'm aware that i do blog and therefore, i'm basically opening the door to my own personal photo-diary/journal.
that being said, it never stops being weird. the difference between cyberspace and "real" people is that these "real" people know me as they think they know me from the day to day "me" they see. i'm not saying that i reveal 'who i really am' on my blog and i hide from the outside world here, but i will admit that on my blog i'm a bit more open than i am in person. i'm afraid that when they find out and read it, they'll judge me or think differently of me. because this is every bit like a diary to me. maybe it would be different if i chose to blog about the less awkward, less meaningful, less "me" things, but i do. it's a bit more than 'look at these pictures of where i've been and what i'm wearing'. i would say that it wasn't a conscious decision in the beginning to keep it a secret, it just wasn't something i was broadcasting because why would i tell everyone i knew to come join the bandwagon and read all about my 'interesting' life? no, i will probably never be that person but only because i don't really think i'm that cool or interesting at all and i don't want people to assume that when they find out i have a blog (i really, really don't think i am). but slowly people have found it through things like twitter, tumblr, and facebook. it's unsettling. very unsettling. but. i am coming to terms with the fact that people will and are finding out about it and when it comes down to it, i really don't care what they think. i will always blog for me even if that means that my diary is leaked to the public eye.