JGL needed

Two cinnamon rolls, five finals, two portfolios, one "I just want my sister to be home and hang out around the Christmas tree with her already" emotional breakdown, an average of three cups of tea and coffee per day, one call per day to each parent, zero glasses of wine, two broken car batteries, one 24-hour clinic visit, five separate sheets of paper written on for one in class final, two bags of candy, and countless number of grilled cheeses made.

FINALS. Over.

Somehow, every time finals are over I can't help but think how anti-climatic the ending is.

Where is Joseph Gordon-Levitt with some Hall & Oates when you need him right?

The limp across campus to the car half dead after your last final just doesn't really do it justice. Not even a fist pump could be had.

Strangely, though, as I logged onto my computer just now after sleeping for a delightful three hours after my last 8am final, the thing that made me smile and text my mother in all caps was exiting out of every single tab on my browser related to Ecology and T.S. Elliot. There were a lot of tabs.

With only Facebook and Blogger up on my computer I say, see ya later Fall Semester 2013.

so long, sweet semester

This has been my favorite semester.

This has been the first semester that I was officially a 100% registered English major according to the University of Montana. 

This has been the semester I quit worrying about what other people were doing and just did my own thing.

This has been the semester that I was technically "unemployed" but made it work like a boss by going home once a month to take pictures.

This has been the semester I missed my biology friends, but was happy to have most of them in my ecology class. As well as having my two best friends from freshmen year in it. Happy, happy reunion three days a week.

This has been the semester I read Thoreau and Chopin, said things like, "I can't possibly go out tonight, I have two papers due this week!", did most of my homework in the bathtub or in bed, and only had one class three days a week because the literature classes here really like Tuesdays and Thursdays.

This has been the semester that I felt truly and finally just my age. I was just a 21 year old college student, free of any other responsibilities except to go to class and get good grades.

This has been the semester I think I finally felt capable. No other semester in my life have I ever felt good at what I've done or like my best was enough. 

This has been the semester that I wrote almost constantly, and fell in love with the craft of it. 

This has been the semester I realized the right boy won't wait to text you back, won't make you wonder whether he likes you, won't make you text 10 page long messages to your friends deciphering his every move, and won't wonder himself whether he wants to be with you.

This has been the semester I built up the courage to flag down the first girl I saw on the first day of class wearing a floral print maxi skirt and square glasses to force to be my study buddy. As it turned out, we had three classes together and are now best friends. 

This has been the semester I spent my every weekend night with friends and forgot about homework on the weekends. 

This has been the semester I got a drink at the bar next-door to the coffee shop immediately after finishing homework.

This has been the semester I realized you have to explore and get out of your comfort zone if you ever want your life to change. Last semester, I was lonely and spent most nights inside and while I enjoyed it half the time, part of me wondered most of the time what it would be like if I changed that. Last semester, I expected life would change in time. It didn't. It changed when I made it change.

This has been the semester I felt like Missoula was the place I was meant to be in and the place for me.

This has been the semester I laughed every single day.

This has been the semester I talked to my professors and even became bus riding/coffee ordering buddies with them. And realized being pals with your professors is a GREAT thing indeed. Especially when it comes to studying for a final the night before you take it and getting email replies at 10pm answering your questions graciously. 

This has been the semester I trusted a good thing when I saw it in front of me.

This has been the semester I quit caring about eyeliner and started throwing on a hat instead of curling my hair. I always knew I could go to school in sweats sans makeup, but I never really knew I could feel so comfortable doing it.

This has been the semester I learned to stop worrying about the small trivial things and appreciate the bigger picture of things: I am happy, my family is healthy, I have great friends, and I am on the right path.

This has been the semester that I didn't just become the best version of myself, but I figured out the best version of myself was already there. It just needed a little perspective and a little bit of courage.

a pointless post because my new lens came

It makes me feel better that probably everyone in school right now is having a near emotional meltdown right about now, right? It certainly feels like we're all in the chocolate-overeating and hair-falling-out-in-the-shower stage of the semester.

For some reason I seem to think I can get through finals this semester without having a single emotional breakdown in the shower like I seem to every semester. Fortunately, I think I might be able to just do that this year thanks to a thing called being of age and having a bottle of wine sitting on my desk.

Anyways, I'm in a procrastinating mood and I recently just bought ("invested in") a new camera and lens for the weddings I'm doing next summer after going to every electronics store in Missoula to feel my dream camera in my hands. Mmmm. I ordered it online over Black Friday in addition to a lens that will be compatible with it since my old one won't be, and while the new camera hasn't arrived, my lens did! I just couldn't not mess around with the beauty of a f1.4 depth of field for two minutes.

So, for lack of better things to talk about or show you, this is the state of my life during dead week shown through just a couple pictures.

Lack of a bookcase // lack of ever trying more than twice to find a bookcase at Good Will // books make great windowsill decoration

All I can say is: day naps. DAY. NAPS. Hence, why I don't make my bed in the morning and just do so before I go to bed. There is no point.

I could pretend I'm really embarrassed about the books I have on my windowsill instead of with the others stuffed in the back of my closet in boxes, but let's just look at the first two. Not embarrassed. It's almost like I planted them there. I couldn't have made up something that funny first without it being accidentally.
This is my life in one picture as an English major. Papers on papers on papers. So many papers. Never have I have used so much paper in my life. 

Sometimes, I'm cleaning my room and I just need to stare at my favorite things in my closet for a wile. Motivation, you know? 

finals happy week things that take less than three minutes

During finals week, I have to do small little things to perk myself up. Have to. And they can't take up more than a few minutes of my time because there's no time for much else, especially when you're a clothes hoarder and junk collector and have to move out of your apartment during finals week so you can move to Seattle.

My Finals Week in under 3 Minutes Happy List:

(one) Eating a spoonful of peanut butter on my way out the door. Instant and glorious gratification. 

(two) Taking a long route on my way to school to fit an extra jam session in the car with the music turned up a few notches louder. This improves my mood drastically and is probably the biggest boost of them all.

(three) Looking at my harddrive of pictures from my trips to Seattle and realizing it will be my home for three and a half months in days. Motivation instantly provided.

(four) A quick phone call with anyone in my family that will answer. My dad's weird voices are the best when it comes to needing a solid three minute laugh.

(five) Writing "I HATE MY LIFE" in all caps on a page in my journal. Untrue and extremely dramatic, and yet, it feels better at the same time? 

(six) Reading a good soul touching article on Thought Catalogue. 

(seven) Coffee. Coffee coffee coffee. Without ordering "non-fat". Because it's finals week.

may third

... excuse me while i try to survive finals and portfolio week!

fall finals 2011

not knowing how to study for a final when i literally didn't learn a single thing all semester,

taking said final and never seeing more than 50% of the questions before,

spending all day studying flashcards,

taking a much needed break from studying with niklaas to starbucks (made me smile),

feeling prepared... and walking into the psychology final forgetting my outside 8 hours of research credit log worth half of our grade,

finishing the final in twenty minutes so I could run home and write a three page paper in ten minutes and turn it in by 9pm...

except that my professor was no longer there because she took a student to the ER due to a panic disorder

(ironic, no?),

hunting her down, calling her cell phone number, and being treated way too nicely for a college student who made the dumbest mistake a student can make,

*phew*

spending six hours studying biology (umm.... did i ever know this?),

staying up until 2:30am and waking up at 6:30am to study some more,

eat a breakfast bar and drink some water,

take worst biology test ever in my life,

multiple choice tests are not my favorite thing and i discovered that my mind tends to veer off to thoughts about kittens, clothes, shopping, christmas and christmas lights during 200 question exams,

leave final.

here's to being done with fall finals 2011!

my roommate hates pictures and wouldn't let me take a picture of our matching attire. diptic solved that.
my cousin and i. people think we're twins. seriously.

my roommate's "friend" waiting for her to get home. yeah. i laughed...so hard.

...and is there a better way to end finals week than with the best puppy in the world!?

things that get me through

not just finals week, but everything

-coffee of any kind from anywhere

-kitten videos on youtube

-wearing a dress

-watching some sort of taylor swift video

-ranting about anything and everything in my journal

-reading old blog posts

-watching a movie

-calling my dad, sister, mom, or grandma

-old episodes of the office

-spontaneous purchasing of dvd series on amazon for really cheap

-reading your blogs

-hugs. really, really good hugs. especially when they're given.

-remembering the fact that taylor swift loves me

-listening to a playlist i created specifically for that day

-photobooth

-looking at old pictures

-skype

-really funny people

here's to getting to wednesday at 10am!