Tuesday, December 10

so long, sweet semester

This has been my favorite semester.

This has been the first semester that I was officially a 100% registered English major according to the University of Montana. 

This has been the semester I quit worrying about what other people were doing and just did my own thing.

This has been the semester that I was technically "unemployed" but made it work like a boss by going home once a month to take pictures.

This has been the semester I missed my biology friends, but was happy to have most of them in my ecology class. As well as having my two best friends from freshmen year in it. Happy, happy reunion three days a week.

This has been the semester I read Thoreau and Chopin, said things like, "I can't possibly go out tonight, I have two papers due this week!", did most of my homework in the bathtub or in bed, and only had one class three days a week because the literature classes here really like Tuesdays and Thursdays.

This has been the semester that I felt truly and finally just my age. I was just a 21 year old college student, free of any other responsibilities except to go to class and get good grades.

This has been the semester I think I finally felt capable. No other semester in my life have I ever felt good at what I've done or like my best was enough. 

This has been the semester that I wrote almost constantly, and fell in love with the craft of it. 

This has been the semester I realized the right boy won't wait to text you back, won't make you wonder whether he likes you, won't make you text 10 page long messages to your friends deciphering his every move, and won't wonder himself whether he wants to be with you.

This has been the semester I built up the courage to flag down the first girl I saw on the first day of class wearing a floral print maxi skirt and square glasses to force to be my study buddy. As it turned out, we had three classes together and are now best friends. 

This has been the semester I spent my every weekend night with friends and forgot about homework on the weekends. 

This has been the semester I got a drink at the bar next-door to the coffee shop immediately after finishing homework.

This has been the semester I realized you have to explore and get out of your comfort zone if you ever want your life to change. Last semester, I was lonely and spent most nights inside and while I enjoyed it half the time, part of me wondered most of the time what it would be like if I changed that. Last semester, I expected life would change in time. It didn't. It changed when I made it change.

This has been the semester I felt like Missoula was the place I was meant to be in and the place for me.

This has been the semester I laughed every single day.

This has been the semester I talked to my professors and even became bus riding/coffee ordering buddies with them. And realized being pals with your professors is a GREAT thing indeed. Especially when it comes to studying for a final the night before you take it and getting email replies at 10pm answering your questions graciously. 

This has been the semester I trusted a good thing when I saw it in front of me.

This has been the semester I quit caring about eyeliner and started throwing on a hat instead of curling my hair. I always knew I could go to school in sweats sans makeup, but I never really knew I could feel so comfortable doing it.

This has been the semester I learned to stop worrying about the small trivial things and appreciate the bigger picture of things: I am happy, my family is healthy, I have great friends, and I am on the right path.

This has been the semester that I didn't just become the best version of myself, but I figured out the best version of myself was already there. It just needed a little perspective and a little bit of courage.


Z said...

Wow, I'm hopelessly in love with this post. This is such a underclassman to upperclassman feeling... I'm in the same boat. Glad you're having such a good time :]

Lizzie said...

You're awesome and I aspire to have a semester where I feel similarly. Mine wasn't bad; but the part about the right boy couldn't feel more true.

becca said...

you're such a badass and I think that last line is the most perfect one ever written.

also just fun to hear little snippets about your life!

now go home and relax with your family and enjoy the holiday!