Tuesday, November 26

you're allergic to coconut...?

I was sitting on his striped battered couch the other day with his massive owl printed blanket over my shoulders when he asked me, "Maggie, have you ever had a Somoa?"

"Like... the Girl Scout cookie?" I said. I tilted my head to the side and sighed.

"YES!" he said.

"Can't eat them. I'm allergic to coconut," I said. His eyes widened like it was the absolute end of the world that I have never and can never have the cookie that suddenly appeared to me was some cookie sent from heaven to him, but alas, it was the truth. He shook his head and professed how tragic that was before saying how weird of a thing that was to find out about me.

A couple days later, I figured out that he was so bad at sports in Junior High that when he didn't make the 8th grade team, he was put on the 7th grade team for the season. I laughed until I felt guilty, which took all of two minutes.

This is the strange thing about dating someone without having been friends first. This relationship snuck up on me so quickly that there were only about three weeks that we were hanging out before it moved into 'more than friends' territory. It made me nervous. I didn't know what skeletons were hidden in his closet and he didn't know that while I am overflowing with an obnoxious amount of energy in the middle of the day, in the morning it takes me three cups of coffee to wake up. I am not the Maggie everyone loves in the morning. I am CRANKY and I am messy. I didn't know what his past looked like. I only had what I knew at the present and it terrified me to sort of go into it not knowing what I'd learn about him or the things he would find out about me.

But, a couple months later, I think I can safely say that I sort of love how I get to add layers and more layers to what I know. I love getting to know someone in such a pure sense. I love that it's innate and sort of raw. It feels genuine because of the curiosity it takes to learn new things about each other. I love getting to know someone as I date them. I love the way little details are learned about the other, like the way his arms are so ticklish and that when he's in a bad mood, he simply grunts occasionally. It's nearly impossible to diagnose his crankiness any other way and it took me forever to realize his grunts meant something was on his mind. I like that he doesn't know my secrets and it's up to me as to when I disclose the things about myself I'm not proud of instead of them already being known. I like that we can navigate those waters together. I like that some things are a mystery and that he has no idea that I blog. I like that I can create my own picture of who he is for myself without anyone's opinions getting in the way of that.

This is fun.


Z said...

Oh my gosh, I totally understand. And not just because I am also allergic to coconut and my boyfriend of two months is also shocked that I have to live this existence. When I first started dating him, I had the same feeling...I've never done this "semi-random guy that I know through mutual friends but want to get to know better so I'll do that by dating him!" thing. But I agree. It's such a cool way to get to know someone, without all the pre-knowledge of them as friends.

Emma Jane said...

Cutest in the world. Ever. I love how happy you are and how light and lovely this all feels. This makes me all giddy about falling in love again. I agree about the excitement of getting to know someone as a relationship grows. I think there are for sure merits in starting as friends but I think it's also so wonderful to begin as more than friends. That's how I have handled the majority (If not all) of my relationships and I have loved that get to know you phase.

Tightrope to the Sun

Shelby said...

oh my word, i couldn't agree more!!! that is EXACTLY how it has been with me and Zac. I love being able to still be learning things about him. It keeps things interesting, and FUN! And it keeps us asking questions. Trying to dig a little deeper each time. It is the first time I have ever done this, and I have to say I am absolutely loving it!