under my umbrella

It was the middle of the night, lying on the baby blue floral couch we'd laid on just the same a thousand times before. Your fingers ran along my cheek, lips brushing familiar ground. Beneath layers of flannel and down comforters by the plenty, I could feel the warmth and pounding of your heart; irregularly regular at best. Everything was exactly as it should be; together, nestled in a singular place that could be pinpointed with the same tack on a map. And when your fingers brushed just there, I could feel the giggle rising in my throat without my consent and your lips smile as you tickled by accident. I pulled back ever so slightly feeling your warmth breath fill the space between us. I wanted to memorize every moment and keep it locked away tightly where I could always hold you again. I wanted the infinite ability to come back to precisely this. This moment that would forever hold us to the ease of our youth, just two kids on a single couch as nothing more than just kids. Under the blue light of the television screen, I saw your green eyes looking at me looking at you. And again, without a thought, I giggled.


I find myself going back to everything these days. Thinking about those memories and thoughts that are now four seasons old. Remembering what I was doing, what I was thinking, where I was going just one year ago. So much has changed and all of it for the better, but it's only when the sun comes out granting coat-free weather once again that I realize just exactly where I am and where I was. I'm almost done with my freshmen year of college. I was a graduating senior. I'm going to college with my friendboy. I was best friends with someone I thought wasn't going to be in my life for more than a couple more months, if that. I'm almost 19. I was almost 18.  I am completely content. I was confused. I know it's not a lot and I know I tend to be a bit of a drama-queen, but I feel like a completely different person in a completely different relationship than I was on April 8th of last year. It's amazing, really, to come so far in just a year and to be able to really see in front of my eyes everything that's changed. I love being able to look at my diary from exactly a year ago and so specifically remember everything that was happening and comparing just how different they are now.



One year ago, Niklaas and I had our first 'photoshoot'. We were driving around today, me in my new Modcloth umbrella dress and hot pink umbrella Niklaas made the decision of me purchasing. It's true, I'm so bad at weighing out in my head whether I want to spend the six dollars on something I know I will use frequently and is a practical choice. Like, impulse oxfords at Ross. Or a hot pink umbrella. We ended up at the exact same place where we had our first shoot one year ago. Last time, we didn't really know what we were doing. I laughed, awkwardly, a lot. And he clicked hesitantly, a lot. This time, it was easy. I laughed naturally and he clicked as he pleased. And, at the end of the day, I came away loving these pictures more than almost all of ours combined.

dress-Modcloth tights-Forever21 shoes-Lulus bow-Forever21 umbrella-Ross

Most of the time (okay, half of the time) I can regain debit card control against Modcloth when I fall in love. This was not one of these times. I saw the umbrella print and that was really all it took. It was an added bonus that it was not rayon and that it had buttons on the back. I knew upon first glance that I was going to use an umbrella when I finally took pictures of it. It seems that whenever we have the clearest visions for our shoots, they turn out the most different. However, this almost always means they turn out different for the best! I wanted dark and dreary for this shoot but we got bright and sunny. Which turned out perfect because I haven't had a drop of spring on the blog yet. I know everyone has long since dove into spring, but consider this my spring debut!


I felt a little silly in yellow tights and an umbrella printed dress with a hot pink umbrella and blue bow in my hair. In fact, I felt like I was five years old again. But I couldn't be happier with how all the colors worked together and how happy these pictures are! I swear, this is the kind of photoshoot I want every single time. I think the constant in the equation is Niklaas. Hehe ;)




Tonight, we are going to dinner and watching Tangled and doing fun adventure things. For those of you in a relationship, do you have designated "dates"?? It's so funny because if everything we planned together was considered a date...then we would have been dating much longer than we actually have. So when people like my mom say, "Oh, are you and Niklaas going on a date tomorrow?" I have to stop and think... well is it? Hahaha. I guess it depends on the definition ;) Nonetheless, it doesn't really matter to me. I have fun date or no date!