Friday, April 15

black star

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Let's be perfectly honest about something. Most of the time, and by that I mean, all the time, I ask myself why I'm doing what I'm doing if what I want to do is the very opposite of what I'm working towards. I get to the point when I'm frustrated beyond words and I just want to be doing something I love, not something I can't understand. I think we're all kind of in the same boat at one time in our young lives. We all know what we want to do, or rather we know what we don't want to do, but how many of us are actually doing that single thing that we know would make us happiest? When I decided to get my pre-med undergraduate degree, I did it for one reason: because it was the most difficult major on our campus. And I guess, in the back of my mind I thought that if I could graduate with a degree that to me seems impossible to finish, I could do anything. I could get into journalism school and move to New York. I could go to Med school, graduate, and then go to journalism school and write. It's days like yesterday and today that I have to remind myself over and over again that some day, it'll all pay off. Struggling to understand something that my friend can explain in a single sentence. Spending 36 hours to study for some way. Wanting to cry because every other person has every night of the week to watch movies when I'm buried in books every single night. But somehow, in some way, I just know it will pay off. I like to think we're all on some sort of path to get where we are supposed to be and while I can't explain it, I can't help but feel like doing what I'm doing right now is what I'm supposed to be doing even if I despise it. I guess, in retrospect, I'm not dawdling with time, I'm doing something and it will help me in wherever I decide to go with it.
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I don't really know what made me feel the need to spew out all of this, but I guess it has a lot to do with my first year of college coming to an end and registering for more classes I'm destined to struggle in and just a general sense of seeing the next three years very definitely laid out for me. But, I have faith that everything will work out and I just know I'm doing the right thing. Killing myself to graduate with a Biology Pre-Med degree. Yes. It's going to be my mantra for the rest of college. "I can do it, I can do it!" Heh!
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I knew when I took these pictures that I had to post them as soon as possible because the cold is actually going away and it's only for so much longer that I can pull off my big huge cardigans. I'll be honest, again, and admit that it was only after I saw Tieka and Kate with their Urban Popcorn Bycorpus sweaters that I had to get one. And I got two. And they're the best things EVER. I live in them. Seriously, Kate and Tieka speak the truth. I don't take them off. Niklaas was slightly disgusted over spring break, I'm sure, and probably doesn't think I wear anything but these sweaters.
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When we decided to drive to Lewiston to take these pictures, I held up outfits for Niklaas to decide between, and this is what he chose. I loved layering this sweater over this dress! I'm so short that the sweaters alone could be dresses- it's crazy. I threw on a bow and grabbed my cowboy boots and was out the door. I love how these pictures turned out. Seriously, I wish Niklaas were around all the time so we could take advantage of the seriously beautiful scenery around our little home-town. Idaho and Montana are truly gorgeous states and one we reunite for good, you'll be seeing a lot more mountains and pretty things!
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dress-Forever21 sweater-Urban Outfitters boots-Charolette Russe headband-Forever21
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Okay. I need to crawl into bed..like ten minutes ago. Make that twenty. Curse you late night Thursdays! Noteable achievements this week: getting an A on my archaeology test I barely studied for and starting a project proposal worth a quarter of our grade ten minutes before class started and getting full credit. That's procrastination right there (and so not me). I hope to never butt heads with you again, procrastination.
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51 comments:

Catherine said...

The scenery in these photos is GORGEOUS. So magical. I never thought I'd say this, but I kind of want to visit Idaho and Montana...

Anyway, I hear you. I've been in an intense self-debate over whether I'm actually passionate about art or not, or if I should just pursue something practical. Because, you know, I have essentially two weeks to decide where I want to go to school. Stress :/

You look lovely! That sweater looks so comfy and I love how it juxtaposes the sweet lacy dress.

xox

Susanne said...

I absolutely agree with Catherine, the scenery is something I can´t even explain.. amazing.

Kuleigh said...

These photos are awesome. That place is so incredibly beautiful! School will all work out! You still have plenty of time!

Steffys Pros and Cons said...

i love your sweater and it looks so comfy!

<3 steffy
Steffys Pros and Cons

Abbey said...

Oh my goodness, the landscapes are so gorgeous!! And so are you :) I love that you're a biology major who likes to write! You sound like me! Except I epiphanied out of biology and into Communications. But, you sound like you know what you're doing more than I did. Good luck, good luck, good luck! :)

Jill said...

wow what a beautiful location and cute outfit!

college is for sure a struggle. i am sure pre-med is super hard but it allows you to have a path, med school. But for me i learned that college is more about learning how to learn and learning about my self and less about grades and studying. i am sure that sounds totally bogus but you got to do what you love and if you do not know what that is do what ever you want and in the end most people do not even end up doing what they major in in college so its not the be all end all for the rest of your life.

Gentri said...

I really loved this post. Thank you. It's something I needed to hear. :) That scenery is beautiful!! I hope that you keep working towards your goal. I know it's a big scary one, but you inspire me by going after it. Good job. :)

Laurel said...

I sure hope there are more pictures like this coming because they are so beautiful! It sort of makes me ashamed of my garage door and woodpile...

As for the med school stuff. Follow your gut. So many things are still gonna happen to you. Take it from me. I'm old.

Natalie said...

Holy. Crap. These photos are absolutely stunning. STUNNING. Seriously, I am blown away by how gorgeous it is there. You look fantastic, and you and Niklaas are always the pinnacle of adorableness :)

YOU ARE LEGITIMATELY TAKING THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY HEAD. I'm going through the same internal debate right now, except I'm not actually in college taking pre-med courses... I'm the step before that, in trying to figure out if that's what I want to do. And so much of me does want that. That overachieving girl who knows it will be so much difficult work but always knows that it will be worth it in the end. But then there's the part in the back of my mind. She's a smaller part, but she's always there quietly whispering on how things could be so much easier if she just did something that wouldn't be the death of her and took the writing route. It's such a struggle that I keep going back and forth between. Even though I know what the right thing to do in the end is, I can't help but have the other feelings constantly eating away at me.

But reading this is really helping me, actually. And when I mention this predicament to my friends they say "why would you ever want to waste 8 years at school just to be a stupid doctor? just for money right? psh" and it makes me so frustrated, and it makes me so determined to prove them wrong. I know taking eight years of my life to become a doctor will be the most challenging thing ever, but that doesn't mean I should just throw that away because it's too hard. We only have one life to live, and taking the easy route doesn't work for everyone. Some people need to achieve as much as they know they're capable of to be happy, cause otherwise we'll constantly be wondering why we didn't follow through with it and I definitely do not want any regrets.

I don't know if this comment made any sense at all, but hopefully you're able to at least get something intelligible from it, haha... In any case, have a wonderful weekend. :)

Palmsky said...

You've got a good head on your shoulders girl. Go easy on yourself and just trust.

-Palmsky

pitterpatterpalmsky.blogspot.com

Lea said...

Such gorgeous, gorgeous pictures, maggie. Everything in the backgrounds look so picturesque. And I'm so jealous of your blue skies.

It's so crazy. I've just changed my major, so I'm going through a lot of self doubt--I know I wouldn't want to continue with my old major, but now I'm wondering if I really should be going into something creative or just starting a major that will most definitely pay the bills. But I'm pretty sure I'm in the right place. I think :|

Love the sweater. I need a transition one to take the place of my jackets... when it starts to warm up here :)

Happy Friday

Bad Taste Toast said...

Oh wow! These photos are stunning, seriously! I've never been to the USA but if I happen to be there someday it looks like I'll need to visit Idaho! Gosh, the background looks stunning! And I really love your cute outfit, especially this sweater! It looks so cozy and I bet I'd live in it too if I had it :D
And concerning your biology studies. Yes you can do it! I've been having some issues concerning my bachelor studies as well lately but we always need to remind ourselves that we chose the path we're on and that there are many people who would love to study but are not privileged enough to do so.

Oh and before i forget:

I wanted to let you know that I borrowed one of your photos from a past post for a "summing up favourites" - post on my blog. I hope you don't mind? If you do mind then please let me know.

Happy Friday! :)

Lauren said...

The scenery is amazing in these photos!

Lauren
www.laurensthoughts.com

GIRL AND CLOSET said...

ooh, my goodness these photos are just breathtaking. I love them, I love them!! I'm equally smitten with that fantastic cardy & that lovely dress, they look fantastic together.

As for college? It is tough!! But your mantra sounds like a great one and everything will most certainly work out. xx veronika

Laura said...

i love the dress! gorgeous pictures!! and cute pic with the boy :D
as for your post, i'm going through the same thing I feel that college let's you explore something about yourself that we kind of overlook before.

-laura
http://thesemanyyears.blogspot.com

Erika said...

Talk about perfect photos...these are amazing! And you are incredibly cute, I adore your outfit. Thank you very much for the kind comment, you're lovely.

Alex said...

procrastination is seriously my best friend! I met him since I was in middle school and we've been inseparable ever since! I wouldn't be able to do anything without him :P hahahahaha. I'm kidding, but I truly am the procrastination queen! Like, right now I should be studying for my circuits test (because I don't want to fail the class... and I might end up screwing up) but here I am :D I don't know what is it. I feel like... maybe engineering was not right, but then again my major is the hardest at our school. So I totally get your point... I just want that feeling that I graduated with the hardest degree on campus. Me. A regular girl. A freaking engineer. That sound awesome, but I'm not overly passionate about it. I don't know... I'll just stick with it because I have only two more years left and BAM! Off to work like the responsible adult I hope to be

Anyway, on a happy & positive note, you look absolutely stunning. I wish I could say the same about Texas, but the reality is that my city is not as awesome as I wish it could be. Montana and Idaho DO seem like the perfect places, perfect landscapes, perfect weather, perfect everything! So calm and stuff, and I'm so jealous you get to live in a small city! This place where I live is freaking insane, a million people driving back and forth every day... it gives me headaches every time I go back to my house because of the traffic and the noise and everything. So enjoy all those little pleasures of the North! When I'm rich and famous (haha well, maybe not famous) I'll go up there and visit you! I don't care if we're like... 25 or something. I'll go! and that's a promise I intend to keep :)

Hey, I just wrote a novel here! love you! :) take care! and good luck with school!

Rosa Pel said...

nice dress , like your outfit !
i follow you girl

Amber Rose, Laughing With Broken Eyes said...

Oh darling, I relate so much to what you are saying.. so much indeed.

but summer will be here, we'll reassess, and we'll psych ourselves out for our next semester.. though the cycle repeats.

you are beautiful, as always.

Becky said...

Girl, these pictures are BREATHTAKING! The scenery is beyond gorgeous and Niklaas did such a great job of capturing your beauty and the captivating mountains behind you.
LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!
As for the outfit, how do you always look so darn cute?! I love your headband and the cardigan/dress/boot combination is just darling.

Oh and girl, you're not the only one feeling this way. I've been talking about the future/my senior year/college/everything relating to what you just said.. a lot. For some reason it's like glued in my mind recently and I can't get it out.
But I'm glad that you have the perspective that you have. I too also think that everything we do is for a reason, and even if it doesn't seem to make sense, we'll eventually end up in the place that we're supposed to be, doing what we're supposed to be doing.
My motto is "everything happens for a reason." And I truly believe it.
But stick it out girl! You will do so great with your major and you will graduate! I know it :)

Amelia said...

isn't it funny? boys are so good at picking out outfits. and girl, you got it. we all have days like that, believe me- i'm a junior, so i'm proof that you can make it :) beautiful photos, the landscape is stunning.

JazmineKariss said...

Such pretty pictures! The scenery is gorgeous!
-Jaz
http://www.fluffyfashioncents.blogspot.com

Trou, .bleuebird said...

Wow, the scenery is just breathtaking. And if it's something that you want to do, all the hard work will pay off in the end. ^__^

janet h said...

prettyyyyyy! the background's WOWOWOW. and you look lovely :)

t said...

Great pics! Nice look!

http://initialed.blogspot.com

Kirstin Marie said...

You can do it!! :) I have to say I really admire your courage for taking on something so complicated and challenging.

I'm in love with your dress, it's gorgeous, and it looks amazing on you. Beautiful <3

S and O said...

Gorgeous pictures...you have a great sense of style :)
And wow you live near some lovely landscaping!
xoxo
Olivia

Estefany @ The Helmet Head said...

Gorgeous pics and dress! You are way too cute =)

haze said...

my goodness! look at that girl! <3 in all honesty, maggey, you are what gorgeousness means :) really love your outfit posts!

p.s. i felt so happy when i saw your comment on my other account. i mean, did the translate button worked? i hope so, and hope it didn't rephrase anything at all.

*hugs!

Evelina said...

The scenery is breathtaking! I ADORE the photos. :) Your outfit is adorable - I love that headband!

Good luck with your studies - I personally feel that if it feels right, and if you're passionate about it, then go for it. :)

I totally understand what you mean about procrastination - I always tell myself the same thing, haha. :)

-Evelina
effervescentevelina.blogspot.com

Dilan Dilir said...

lovely outfit :;)

Reckless Rekha. said...

Love your dress. the view is so pretty <3

amy said...

If you love, you will climb mountains. You are a precious girl. And life will bring sorrow. So we can learn to love the sun.

Very much, best wishes x


hope to hear from you*
love amy ^.^
www.amyflyingakite.com

Anything but Bland said...

hey, doll! I am going to school at the university of illinois! I see you go to Iowa- the photos you take are AMAZING!!!!! I'd LOVE to know what type of camera you use, but I understand if that's a personal thing you don't want to share. Thanks for commenting on my guest post :)

love, polly :D

Ruby Girl said...

marvelous look! and when i saw the title of your blog i just had a huge rush of nostalgia. paper dolls were so fun! haha i'm sure they would bore kids to death these days unfortunately. perfect name for a fashion blog. <3 EverRubyGirl.blogspot.com

GretchTM said...

College is tough, but you have a strong passion to succeed and that dedication will get you somewhere. Good luck with everything and I wish you all the best in college!

Adorable outfit. That cardigan is beautiful.

By Sara Romero said...

omg its beautiful there! i always love your pictures you are just so adorable and there is a touch of romance in your photos. cute comfy outfit too :)

mari b. said...

such an adorable look.
love the lacy dress.
x


themerrimari.blogspot.com

Caroline Ergy Erg said...

That scenery is beautiful! What a wonderful place you've discovered! Such a pretty dress too by the way!
xxxx

Margaret said...

Lewiston!!! I miss going there every week on the way to my piano lessons...it's smells awful there, but the scenery is breathtaking. You look beautiful along with your boyfriend :)))))

Two Happy Hearts said...

um, yeah. perfectly beautiful scenery, and an adorable outfite ;)

fashioneggpplant said...

you guys look like such a sweet couple <3

dunia kecil indi said...

beautiful pictures... and beautiful you of course! :D I LOVE YOUR DRESS :)

lady sélénite said...

Oh my god ! What a beautiful landscape ! Is it where you live ? So lucky ! I love your sweet and romantic outfit !
http://selenite.weebly.com

Stef / Diversions said...

The landscape is amazing and you look great :) The headband is the perfect touch!

Congrats on your great test results as well :) Your perseverance is admirable and a bit of procrastination now and then is only human ;)

Nikki said...

wauw! you look stunning and i am so in love with the nature behind you! i love your dress :) x

Nicole, Coco Maria said...

Maggie, I have to tell you, I admire you so much for going after that degree. I'm a big baby when it comes to things I don't understand. Heck, I almost didn't finish my very first week of college because I was so anxious about everything (but I did, and now I'm a Sophomore so hooray!). So, to hear you sticking through all of these struggles is really so inspiring. I'm sure you can do anything you want in life :)

I also just have to tell you how jealous I am of how awesome your pictures always are. You look adorable!

Elizabeth of PrettyNiftyThriftyFashion said...

oh that location is gorgeous!!!i jut love your dress it looks so adorable with the cardigan :)

Bonnie said...

Holy.Crap.
The scenery is amazing!!! I can't believe how amazing this place is for pictures.
And your boots are fabulous!!!!!

http://www.glamkittenslitterbox.com/
Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Gizelle Faye | Vanilla Ice Cream said...

YOU CAN DO IT! <3
i love your determination to surpass something as difficult as med school...it just goes to show that you're ready to brave the world..whatever it comes with.

ps. lovin' the floral headband! gave a fresh feel to your winter-y outfit...

♥ vanilla ice cream ♥
www.shopyapi.com

Coralie said...

I love the cardigan ! Goes perfectly with the dress :)


xx



www.coralieslooks.com - FRENCH FASHION BLOG