happyness is a pattern

I think you guys all know me well enough after my two and then some years of blogging that I'm a pretty happy person. I have my moments, sure, and I do surely blog about my bad days, but for the most part I like to preach that you make your own happiness and the little things are really what matter in the end; making every single day count, being happy despite the things that bring you down, and every cliche "happy" quote to date. But lately, I can't help but feel like being alone has reinforced that idea even more in my head. I love waking up in the morning knowing it's only me that decides if I'm going to have a positive attitude that day and I love relying on myself to be that happy person I am. I love knowing that right now, everything and anything goes. I can say exactly what I want to say and for the first time in months and months, I'm not worrying about how it'll come across or what kind of reaction it will garner. I think out of the past couple of months, the best thing to come from it has been complete open honesty, with myself and with my relationships. It's the best.

I woke up this morning truly and genuinely happy. I wasn't worrying, as I have a huge knack for doing, or pondering about the future. Sometimes, I think I get too sucked into overanalyzing everything instead of just letting things happen as they happen; letting time do its thing. I preach living for the moment but it's also the thing I struggle with the most. I think I've decided recently that if things do pan out with my relationship and they work themselves out, I need to do it because I'm thinking of what will make me happy right now instead of thinking about what it will mean for later. Obviously I'm a person that commits to things that matter to me and that I'm serious about, but there is only so much I can control and actually do. I can't decide what will happen in six months or even in one month. You can't plan for that.

I live for coffee in the morning, reading my kindle every night before I go to sleep, watching an episode of whatever tv series we are on with my sister, driving to work every day between the hills, painting my nails, taking pictures of people I love, random visits from my dad during the day while I'm washing dishes, listening to my favorite songs heard on the radio, milkshakes at Sharis, laughing whole-heartedly, writing something that just seems to make sense, checking the mail, long drives with my best friend, genuine people, finding a bargain, real conversations, silly conversations, good conversations, doing something I've never done before, traveling whether it be to a town five miles away or a thousand, and finding something that inspires me to do, and be, better. Small things. I've heard that if you force yourself to laugh, you'll be happier, because eventually even a forced laugh becomes real. It's a pattern.

I'm wearing

blazer & dress- Ruche

belt- Francessca's Collections

shoes- Urban Outfitters

pictures with danielle {part 2}

see part 1 here!

my sister and i are really, really different.

case in point, we got in a fight yesterday about towels. 

i'm the kind of person

that doesn't really think twice about using whatever clean towels are on the

towel rack when i get out of the shower, but she is. 

i'm the kind of person who is pretty easy going and free flowing,

i don't have much of a personal space bubble at home, but she does.
her room is her room, her stuff is her stuff.

i'm really, really bad sometimes at being considerate of these things because
our mindsets are so different that i don't think
about the fact that someone else will be upset if i do something
differently than they do.
it's pretty much the only thing that ever causes fights. and they almost
always start that way.
i feel bad, i really do.

i think one of the most interesting things about humanity
is the way people see themselves.
i think i'm an easy person to live with because of how well my roommates
and i mesh at school. at school, i've learned to be very conscious
of my actions and how they affect others.
but at home, i'm comfortable. and i've realized that i do
make terrible messes and i do push buttons, even if it isn't intentionally done.
i clean when i want to but not always when i need to.
i really do want to be better but to do that i'm realizing
i really do have to place those thoughts into priorities in my head
like i do at school.

it's one thing to grow up and excel at being on my own
(i'm still not always perfect there, either) while i'm at school,
but if i haven't learned that at home then what have i accomplished
really?

 i think that's what my sister has been saying all along...
and i should probably start to listen to her.