Monday, February 14

Dear Valentine's Day

Dearly single (and loved) ladies of the Blogosphere,
This year is somewhat strange. For the first time in my life, my valentine isn't a classroom of friends, my mom, or my best friend. I have a real-live breathing valentine. A boy to send me cute things, spend money on a silly Hallmark made-up Holiday for me, and if we were in the same place, do cute mushy things like hold hands in public while wearing red. Now, I'm not saying this to gloat. I'm not fist-pumping in your face that this year, Valentine's Day isn't my Single-Awareness Day. I am saying this because I have a Valentine and that right there is the most awe-struck thing in the world, and if I have one, each and every one of you can.

Truthfully, I've actually always enjoyed Valentine's Day. And I've never really longed for someone to do cute things for me, either. Actually, that's the very core of why just having someone is so miraculous. I was the girl in High School who didn't "do" relationships even when they were unofficially ongoing for months. I didn't want to "be" anyone's anything. It was kind of a mean game. Leading people on for weeks and months but never really being together. I'll admit first handed that it was awful. But the truth is, the real reason I never was anyone's anything, was because there was no one that I felt worthy. (Again, awful). Or maybe they were worthy, but they did things I didn't agree with which made them unworthy. Or maybe they were cute and nice and absolutely wonderful to me, but they weren't someone who made me weak in the knees or someone I was truly in every sense of the word "with".

I believe in love. I believe that loving someone is different from being "in" love. And I think you can feel both at once or you can feel them separately. But either way, for the entirety of my existence, I only wanted the real thing. I didn't want someone just to do cute things with, I wanted a best friend. I didn't want someone who just made me laugh at something funny they said, I wanted someone who made me happy every single day just because they were mine. I wanted something lasting which isn't something that's common in High School which is why I didn't date anyone exclusively. It was mean, but I definitely got my share of mean back. I got curb-stomped along the way and cried for hours over meaningless boys that actually did seem to be the Tarzan to my Jane that broke my heart by being someone different from who I thought they were. I let some people go. I was forced into letting them go. I said "next". And in the back of my mind, I remembered that real "Prince" that waited. I heard my mom's voice telling me to be picky; to not settle. I was myself through it all and didn't let up on anyone. I expect a lot out of the people I let into my life and it was hard to not make exceptions for the people who were charming and endearing.

But here is where I make my point. Valentine's Day shouldn't make you feel lame because you don't have anyone to call yours. It shouldn't make you feel stupid because you're unworthy of anyone's affection. If anything, you should think of it as you haven't found anyone worthy of you yet. Maybe that's a little bit naive. Maybe that's a little bit condescending because when it comes down to it, if you're alone and feeling alone, you do just want "someone". You want that instant pick-me-up. You don't want to endure another empty Valentine's Day.

But I have a Valentine.

It happened to me. For everything I believed in, I waited. I waited and waited. And it came true; for me. I'm not saying he's the love of my life or the one I'm going to marry, but I'm saying that for right now, I got my right now soul-mate of the moment. I got someone who met every criteria and someone I didn't settle for. Someone who is my best friend and person I smile about when there isn't anything to smile about. Someone my parents love and someone who isn't just a part of my life but is in my life. And it can happen to you!!!

And for every lonely holiday and for believing that when the right time came, I would just "know" that it was right, it was worth it when I found him.

Everything was worth the wait. And that, my darlings, is what I'm telling you. It may suck right now, but when the time comes, it will have been worth the wait. I urge you to love the people you have in your life now and concentrate what you have.

Take pride, for there aren't many that deserve you and only you.

Maggey Grace


Charlotte said...

awwh maggey, this is so lovely.
I hope you and your boy have a lovely day :]]

Charlotte xxx

Abbey said...

I totally agree with this. :) Happy Valentines, girl!

Alex said...

You write so beautifully and truthfully. Just wanted to say that :)

I don't have anyone and it really doesn't bother me. You'd imagine that today I'd be feeling it more, but honestly, nope. If I find him then great. If not, things are wonderful just as they are. Being single doesn't equal failure.

Alex said...

You make me cry all the time! This is just too beautiful. Simply as that!

And I am happy that we are friends :) so... Happy valentine's day! There is someone out here in the land of texas who loves you! :D

Amber Rose, Laughing With Broken Eyes said...

I read this post four times. Four. Because I could honestly relate to everything you were saying.. I swear, love, you and I are just two halves of the same person at times. Can you imagine if we'd lived nearby?

What you said about loving the day but not feeling anyone was "worthy".. I was always afraid to say it aloud, but honestly, that's the way I've felt.. kind of like why settle when eventually the right one will come? something along those lines, anyhow.

Just know that I adore you. A LOT.


Anonymous said...

oh maggey, it is worth the wait, isn't it? i'm happy for you... it's so heart warming to read posts from someone in love... :)♥

Kuleigh said...

This is really sweet. Thank you for sharing. I definitely expect a lot out of people and I know what you mean about in love is different from loving someone. I hope you had a great Valentine's Day!

Seego said...

Happy Valentines to you and your boy Maggey! And thanks for this amazing post. I agree with what you wrote and I think you wrote it out beautifully. But I'm okay with not having a Valentine. I don't get sad if I don't have a Valentine(maybe because I've never had one). I enjoy being single, I really do. Yeah, I get lonely once in awhile and may want a boyfriend but then I always realize that I have so much love around me already from my family and friends, and that's all I really need.

~Abby~ said...

I love this post! It's exactly how I feel.! You couldn't have said it any better.:)

♥Hope you had a wonderful day!


Natalie said...

Awww, this was a wonderful post. :) Actually, I'm really fine with not having that 'special someone'... I mean, you can't really miss something if you've never had it at all, you know haha? So yeah, I mean, I enjoyed using today as an excuse to eat a ton of candy and not feel (too) guilty about it. But you're definitely right, there has to be that right person for everyone, and hopefully we'll all find him sooner or later. I hope you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

Jasmine, Transient Withdrawal said...

This is so sweet Maggie! I think every girl goes through this at some point in their lives. It's just inevitable but everyone will have a happy ending I believe :) <3

Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Anonymous said...

Aw :) I can really relate to this post...thanks for sharing! And Happy Valentine's Day!

Lisa said...

What a lovely post! For the first time in years I'm actually single on Valentines Day, and it is ok! I'm not bitter, nor should anyone else be. There's so much love to be found all around and especially within yourself.

I'm glad you found a great guy! Happy Valentines Day!

liz said...

Wow thanks for sharing those beautiful words! I honestly think that love just happens when you aren't planning it! I found my valentine fresh out of highschool and we've been together since and I love it! But it's also cool when people meet later on! you can't plan it! Hope you had a great day!!

LAVEL said...

Nice :)

Roma said...

Settling defeats the essence of being in love. When you love someone, you feel a HIGH you can't explain. When you settle, you bring down your don't feel the HIGH because you teach yourself not too expect TOO MUCH...Just like bad and good are complete opposites...I believe settling and being in love are complete opposites as well.

Roma said...

Settling defeats the essence of being in love. When you love someone, you feel a HIGH you can't explain. When you settle, you bring down your don't feel the HIGH because you teach yourself not too expect TOO MUCH...Just like bad and good are complete opposites...I believe settling and being in love are complete opposites as well.

Rachel said...

Ahh, this is lovely.
I had my first "valentine" yesterday as well...and it does feel kind of nice, right? XD

Estefany @ The Helmet Head said...

This is so cute!
I didnt have a valentine for years until I met my bf and ever since, he has been my valentine for 5 years =). I never felt lonely before, but it is nice to have someone who cares for you =).

Lynn {hearted girl} said...

what a darling blog lades! thanks so much for visiting me and your sweet comment about my guest post, totally appreciate it!!! love your outfit posts and looks like you have some really stellar friends.

your story is awesome and heart-touching. so happy you celebrated with your handsome one this year. good for you on setting the bar and then waiting on the right person to rise above it.

i've gone years without a boyf before and really know the feeling well of importance in connection, deep connection. beautifully written, will be following for sure. ♥

Les Deux Filles said...

This was so beautifully written and insightful. Thank you for a wonderful post--gave me a lot to think about!

I'm so glad you had a wonderful V-Day <333 Margaret

Brittany said...

gosh, loved reading this :D

Victoria said...

Awwwww what a lovely heartfelt post, I hope your had a truely magical day! xxx

mei lan said...

I super agree with what you wrote in your post! It's just what I am feeling right now.
I am single. But I'm proud of it at this moment. I want to wait for that Worthy person, my best friend, the one who's in my life, the one whom I can laugh with and do crazy things together, just like what you wrote.
I am glad that your blog is in my bookmarks list. If not, I would not find a person on the other side of the world who feels the same way like I do.
p.s. Can your outfit pictures be larger? As in the height and width. Just like Tieka's pictures would be Perfect. Love your style! Keep up the good work and stay sweet with your boy, Niklaas. =)