Lately, I've been thinking a lot about death. And simultaneously, life. Maybe this is too far in the gutter for a personal style blog, but I don't think I've ever followed the rules style blogging anyways. During finals week, my aunt went through a series of tests and the next week we were given the news that her liver was shutting down. Thus, the drugs and months of chemo aren't effective anymore. So, we're there, at that point where the doctor's say that they've done everything they could and at this point, it's choosing how to live before death. My mom is currently at the kitchen table google-ing hotel rooms and flights to Alaska, Oregon, California, and Montana. This summer will be her last. We're putting together dream vacations she wants to embark on and knocking out those items on her bucket list. In retrospect, it all makes me think about what I'm doing. And what would I be doing differently if I had one summer of life left.
Does spending hours staring at clothes online matter? Reading gossip magazines from cover to back? Watching countless episodes of Gilmore Girls in a row? Blogging? I'll be honest, when I heard the news, I had that moment where I looked at my life and wanted to throw everything out the window and only do what I "should" be doing. Maybe I should be hiking every day, spending hours outside. Or reading more books in the sunshine. Seeing more of my friends. And then I had a conversation with my mom and I don't think I could have thought or said it any better. We never really know if we're going to get a long life, we never really know when it'll be taken. But that's why we do the only thing we can do: be happy and do those things that make us happy, even if they're somewhat silly (gossip magazines) or "unproductive" (hours posting pictures on the internet). Sure, I could go outside more. I could see my friends more. I should be cleaning my room. But I love all of these silly things I do and they are a part of my life and they're just as important as the "should be doings". My aunt told me at Christmas that the best life lesson she ever learned out of the experience was balance.
Anyways, Niklaas and I took pictures today! I've been eyeing this barn for the longest time and I really need to take advantage of all that Idaho has to offer this summer (barns included). It made me happy and to counteract the unproductive hour of pictures and editing them and writing this blog post, I might just go clean my room for an hour. Balance. I tried to tell him how exciting it was to take pictures knowing that I was going to post them the next day instead of a month later. Ick!!! The end of long distance means a lot of good things, folks. It felt more like fun than a chore this time around because I wasn't stuck in the "planning a blog post" mode of prepping posts for months in advance and could just wear something I felt like wearing that day. I got this dress from Modcloth with a gift certificate I won and I love the fabric. It swooshed and swished and was soft. Plus, the open back was a sweet surprise!
Another note, I'm debuting my Jeffrey Campbell's. They were the Style&Tell prize also from Modcloth and I love them. Normally, I'd never spend so much money on a pair of shoes that I could find cheaper any other place, but getting them so cheap was awesome. They are so comfortable and I made Niklaas smell them. New shoe smell= greater than new car smell. MMMM! I was scared to mix the prints at first, but I loved how it turned out!
Have a good rest of the week!
Shoes- Jeffrey Campbell