the start of 2014

For the past week, I've forgotten what it's like to have a sister who lives across the country.

For the past week, I've forgotten what it's like to have an alarm or how to put on eyeliner.

I've also sort of forgotten about the internet entirely. Oops.

This week, I felt grateful for parents that teach me gym glares to ward the wondering judgmental eyes while you're lifting 7 pound weights and that it's okay to listen to One Direction as a 48 year old woman. My parents are the coolest and by that I mean the least cool. And I wouldn't want them any other way. Growing up and getting to know my parents as people is a pretty neat thing. I see myself in them now in a way that 15 year old me would want to dye her hair black and spend more time at the skate park if she knew I'd turn out exactly like them.

Spending time with my sister has also been, well, humbling. You know what? I am totally an annoying older sister. I totally worry way too much about what she thinks of me. I totally love on her too much. But this realization is a good one. A great one. My sister is her own person and she rocks it. I am my own person and I need to rock it more instead of worrying what other people think.

My boyfriend traveled across the border to visit me this week. It was only about five minutes before he showed up on my doorstep that I realized I had never introduced a new boy to my parents before. Upon telling my dad he was coming his response was, "That dude is coming here?" I think he fully expected me to introduce him to another skinny-jean-wearing metro piece of eye candy so I like to think that by the end of the trip when my dad had texted his few friends to come over to meet my new boyfriend that he was impressed by the floppy hair lanky marching band geek I brought home.

Have I mentioned lately I'm a really big fan of nice boys? NICE boys? The boys I wrote off in high school when I wanted someone who would write me poetry and go shopping with me?

On his last day, I wanted to go somewhere I'd never been. It took only thirty seconds and a few texts to declare that we were going to go the Palouse Falls where apparently the world record for biggest waterfall ridden by a kayaker is held. 186 feet. We took my trusty Subaru on the voyage and thanks to my overpacking tendencies, we shared a bag of pistachio nuts which was our only means of food for the entire afternoon. Oops. We listened to the likes of Beyonce and Arctic Monkeys on the drive. We found the treacherous trail that took us to the cliff's edge of the 200 foot waterfall.

This world and this life are pretty great when you make the most of a single day's potential. I'm going to miss this winter break. I'm going to miss it so badly. Every joyous splendid simple moment of it with the best people in my life.

hey parents, you were right!

as a teenager, there was one thing i heard a lot from my parents. it went something like, "maggie, it's not enough to just be a good student and athlete, you need to be responsible in every area of your life, too." i never really understood it at the time. usually i would protest, "but i'm a good kid! you guys have no idea how lucky you are to have me! do you see the people i go to school with?" they were, of course, referring to the way i procrastinated on chores, um, constantly, and seemed to have an all or nothing approach with everything else. i was constantly social or not at all. i was super active in my clubs or i wasn't at all. i was 100% on top of the things i needed to do, like school and soccer, but with the rest i kind of juggled it chaotically. the things i didn't have to do were what i struggled with.

i never really gave much thought to what my parents were actually saying when they said those words until now. two and a half years into college. i don't know what it was, but at the beginning of this semester something inside me said: maggie, things have to change. i have to find what my parents were really telling me i lacked: balance. i needed to gain some control and get my stuff together. it's not that i lacked time management skills, rather, it's that i didn't make a conscious effort to take care of the other things or myself.

in college, there's stress virtually everywhere. being a good student isn't enough. i realized my old tendencies of letting other things slide while only paying attention to the necessities wasn't working. i needed balance. so, i got a job. i decided i was going to train for a race. i took some control and committed myself to being responsible in every regard. i've figured out that if you let one thing slip, other things usually follow, too. spreading myself between different responsibilities has proved that it's all about making the effort. and it's hard to do when you don't have to do it. i'm extremely fortunate that i was able to go to school for two years without having a job while i focused on school work but it also made me lazier with my free time. now, i have to make my time count. it's not a question anymore of "will i do this", it's just a part of my lifestyle to go to work and run four or five times a week in addition to the time required to go to school. my life feels "together" and balanced. it's a good feeling.

they say you get to the point where you realize your parents were right about everything. well, they were right.
 

emails from my dad

since coming to college, i've communicated with my sister and mom about every single day through texts, calls, and skype. however, my dad is not the technology savvy kind of dad. he is an email kind of dad. the kind that i email when i just want to talk to someone or hear him say something that will make me laugh or read three paragraphs of news updates around the family. and i love his emails to death. yesterday, i emailed him with one question, "is work better than school?" his response made me tear up, just a little bit. you know how they say your parents know what's best for you and are way smarter than you'll ever be? it's true. i'm a parent lover.


Magz-
Work better than school?  Well I guess if you do work and school you could really find out.
College should be doeable for most, not a horror movie. These professors who co-teach, its kind of the new thing and yes we have some do that and one in particular is a horror movie from my point of view. Most of that is due to the person, or the personality and/or inexperience. Like you said your organic professor is bad. Hopefully they will get rid of him from teaching then.

The thing about all this school and work is to try to get all the learning you can. Obviously some classes are not in your interest. Then to hopefully find a area you like, or love. I knew I liked science in HS because of my HS chemistry teacher, also the Bio. teacher was ok. But the Chem. teacher also taught astronomy too and that was great. He was my biggest influence that I can recall. The Ag II teacher was great too. These people build that confidence that everyone needs. Not to try and destroy you.

I liked college all the way through, every bit pretty much. Some topics I didn't like. Plus I worked all these horrible jobs along the way. Which really made me want to learn more in some area. But overall science has to come from the interest, curiosity and love to help people. That's it. And the want to do experiments correctly and not lie.. If you make it up you are a joke and you don't last.

Later Gator