i admit

1. I don't really know what kind of blogger I am. My outfit posts range from being very regular to scarce. I sometimes "write", whatever that means. I talk about my family. I talk about college. I talk about Niklaas. Sometimes I think I need to focus on one or two things, or focus on just one area which makes me wonder why people actually read my blog. Then again, I blog for me, more than anything. I like all of you lovely people and I'm so excited about how involved you all have been in the proces, but I do post what I want to post on a given day and maybe what I want is for my blog to be more concise for my own preferences and for my readers, too. 

2. I don't blog for my readers, but I do hope that I seem 'honest'. I'm not trying to act like I have this fabulous life that's 'worth blogging about'. Evvvvver!

3. I would blog the same way if I had zero readers or 5,000. Which is why I grow sincerely disappointed in bloggers that become a poster child for one brand. That's not to say that I don't wear clothes of that brand. In fact, I do! But an outfit post loses inspiration points when you're just wearing a 'c/o' dress in every post. I'd take Goodwill clothes mixed and matched together over that any day. I feel like speaking up against that kind of blogging can have some serious backlash, and I'm really not judging them for their choices, but I've found that their blogs lose a little bit of the 'awe' that drew me to their blog in the first place in that way. I want to read blogs that I can relate to. A 19 year old college student who doesn't have a salary nor dispensable money to throw on new clothes so that I don't repeat anything at all on my blog. Even if I wasn't 19, I feel like a majority of us 'personal style' readers don't have the kind of money to do that and we like seeing repeated items on their blogs. 

4. I once received word that a person who knows me in real life was disappointed in how often I talked about my relationship on this blog. I let that soak in. I thought about it a lot and why that seemed to be the case. I could only come up with two reasons. One, that he takes almost all of my 'outfit posts' for me and I usually end up talking about whatever we were doing before/during/after we took pictures. Two, that being nineteen, I'm continually learning about what the word 'relationship' means. I figure that out through writing. It's never the same at any moment and that is fascinating to me. I'm always trying to figure out 'right now'. I think my blog is also where my miscellaneous/random thoughts get stored and isn't always an accurate portrayal of what my day/life actually looks like. I would probably think the same thing if I didn't know me and know that he isn't my whole life (so far from the truth). When it comes down to it, he is my boyfriend, but he's my best friend too and a lot of my favorite memories consist of our adventures that would be the same if they'd been shared with my other friends as well. I am sorry if it's disappointing, but it is a blog and just a blog, not my life. I actually do wish I posted more pictures of my roommates and our many adventures but I have found that I really don't take that many pictures! My roommates do but those all go on facebook. 

5. I don't take myself seriously, at all. I'm really just me. But regardless of all the 'blah' up there, gaining new readers terrifies me with the responsibility of remaining me and churning out the same quality of content that has kept you here. I do blog for me and that won't change as I blah-ed a whole lot about up above but I can't ignore all of your support and that means a lot to me. I love talking to all of you and I love answering your emails/tweets! I love the friends I've made here.

6. I'm not trying to say 500 readers is a big deal, either.

7. I have a long list of guilty pleasures but I don't really feel guilty about them. 

8. I look back at some outfit posts and want to die. And then delete them, in that order. I'm still trying to figure out what 'my style' is and I still have a lot of learning to do as far as deciding what's flattering for me. More often than not, 'fun' is placed before 'flattering' but I like the freedom that being 19 offers in that regard! 

9. And... I admit that this post came about after I discovered (late, of course) of a website devoted to content on the internet in which forums allow people to discuss blogs. There was nothing about me there but reading the criticism other blogs received really made me think about my blog. Every single one of us probably has something that can be torn apart and I put myself in the snarky commenters shoes to decide what that was about my blog. It was actually very enlightening and I enjoyed that push. However, what I wish some people knew was that these blogs are just blogs. Disliking a blog or a person is fine! I'm all for it! There are some that I dislike! However, reading the comments made me wonder if there was anything a blogger could really do totally 'right' because everything could be construed as wrong. Reading the comments left for bloggers I know and love, I couldn't help but wish that I could tell them that while they did have some very valid and helpful points, how far are we willing to let the content of a blog pull on us? Will nagging on one blogger really change anything or make you feel better? I'm disappointed in where some blogs have gone but that's kind of just the way it is, no way around it. I'll never know if they are actually the way they seem on their blog, but that can't be prevented unless I met every single blogger. I'm happy to be here, to be inspired and maybe even to inspire others, but that's the extent of it all. Truly.

pictures with danielle {part 2}

see part 1 here!

my sister and i are really, really different.

case in point, we got in a fight yesterday about towels. 

i'm the kind of person

that doesn't really think twice about using whatever clean towels are on the

towel rack when i get out of the shower, but she is. 

i'm the kind of person who is pretty easy going and free flowing,

i don't have much of a personal space bubble at home, but she does.
her room is her room, her stuff is her stuff.

i'm really, really bad sometimes at being considerate of these things because
our mindsets are so different that i don't think
about the fact that someone else will be upset if i do something
differently than they do.
it's pretty much the only thing that ever causes fights. and they almost
always start that way.
i feel bad, i really do.

i think one of the most interesting things about humanity
is the way people see themselves.
i think i'm an easy person to live with because of how well my roommates
and i mesh at school. at school, i've learned to be very conscious
of my actions and how they affect others.
but at home, i'm comfortable. and i've realized that i do
make terrible messes and i do push buttons, even if it isn't intentionally done.
i clean when i want to but not always when i need to.
i really do want to be better but to do that i'm realizing
i really do have to place those thoughts into priorities in my head
like i do at school.

it's one thing to grow up and excel at being on my own
(i'm still not always perfect there, either) while i'm at school,
but if i haven't learned that at home then what have i accomplished
really?

 i think that's what my sister has been saying all along...
and i should probably start to listen to her.

*happy list*

(one) falling asleep on the couch with my sister watching gilmore girls

(two) having a kitchen again 

(three) texts goodnight and texts goodmorning

(four) cleaning... did i just say that!?

(five) getting the OK to buy sperrys. yeahhh!

(six) spending all day watching how i met your mother

(seven) laughing in the passenger seat while driving in 

your hometown after being gone for 3 months.

(eight) moms

(nine) snowy mornings even in april

(ten) being home and knowing that although you 

have to leave soon, you'll be back

for summer in one little month.

pictures with danielle {part 1}

earlier this week, my sister and i went out for a little photo adventure with our very talented friend danielle.

danielle is awesome. really, really awesome. she reads my blog and her whole family likes it and that's just the coolest thing ever because i love them!!! it's a really great feeling when people you like so much like something that's so near and dear to your heart. truly. i love their family and danielle could be a Modcloth Model herself (as you know, only people really high in my book get that nickname). these pictures were a blast to take and i was laughing so hard. she's taking pictures of niklaas&i and then we're taking pictures of her and her also gorgeous sister on friday so YAY! enjoy (because i sure do).

*more to come soon*
you can tell danielle how awesome she is here.

spring adventure check list

at the beginning of this semester, i told myself that this was going to be the semester that we became true 'missoulians'. we were going to embrace the downtown life of missoula, hike, eat out, and do the cool things we said we were going to do fall semester but didn't get around to. i find that if i don't have an idea of what i want to do over the upcoming weekend that we tend to coop up in my apartment and watch movies. not that there's anything wrong with that, but it just means we aren't doing the awesome things we want to do. plus, i thought it was pretty important after last semester to push ourselves to do new things and explore, like we used to. dates. off campus. alone. absolutely crucial. there was a lot of 'what are we going to do this weekend?' lulls at first, but over time, it became less of a 'let's look at our list of things we want to do' and more of a spontaneous 'let's go do this!'. things that happened that weren't on this list but ended up happening and turned out to be awesome included going to matinee imax movies on tuesdays, eating brownies at just chillin, getting coffee on weekend nights, eating coldstone before dinner, a lot of red robin, and random 'day dates' downtown on my free thursday afternoons. we still have a few things left like hiking and going on some small day trip which we'll probably leave for our super cool anniversary coming up, but i'm really really excited about how many fun things we did this semester and how drastically different this semester turned out to be compared to last semester. i'm currently working on our summer list and i'm so excited to see what summer will bring!

coffee date

As far as spring break goes, so far it's been pretty dreamy. And by that I mean a whole lot of sleeping (my bed at home > dorm beds), playing sims 3, baking, not showering, wearing niklaas' flannel, freezing my buns off, and going running. It's nice. A lot of my friends are off on tropical vacations (...all of them) and while being on a beach seems nice, I'm really really happy I am at home with my family. There isn't a better paradise than that and I say that with unwavering truth!

Niklaas and I took these pictures during a little coffee date a couple weeks back. They were taken before I got my haircut!I still have a couple old sets of pictures left to post until I'm caught up. It was insanely windy on this day and that made it hard to take pictures. It's been really fun to explore Missoula and take pictures there but I definitely miss the good old Palouse. I guess I'm more inspired by the rolling hills than by brick buildings! That's the one thing that hits the hardest when I come back home. The environments are completely different. While the culture of both towns are very similar (hippie oriented, outdoorsy, college towny, and full of downtown hipster coffee shops), Montana definitely lacks the rolling wheat fields that kind of seem to go on and on forever. And the farms. And the many old abandoned buildings nestled between those hills. Montana has pretty and impressive mountains that put our little mountain to shame, but they don't compare to the wheat fields of the rolling hills.

After borrowing my roommate's Jcrew cardigan for months, I finally decided I wanted one of my own. My sweet Grandma picked me out this color and sent it along as a treat during midterms- I'm so thankful!! You seriously can't go wrong with a Jcrew cardigan, especially the 'favorite fit' ones. They are so soft yet they fit perfectly. I hate cardigans that aren't quite baggy but not quite fitted, either. Or ones that hit in a weird place or are too short. I know I've been a bit on the predictable side lately by pairing colors with black and white patterns (*cough* the past three posts *cough*) but it's just so easy! I'm kind of stuck in that winter blah mood I guess! Here's to spring and hoping for some variety ;).

I'm wearing:

dress- Urban Outfitters

cardigan- Jcrew

tights- Nordstroms

shoes- Target

necklace- Forever21

finally excited

for summer

and this song has a lot to do with it.

as does this dress
that i spontaneously purchased when it started blizzarding this morning

i'm busy making my 'summer to do list'

and i'm really exited about the fact that we have accomplished

just about everything on my spring list.

summer, hurry please.