midterms

let's talk about my morning for a second.

alarm set for 5:30am. went to bed at 1am. showered immediately. i think i fell asleep in the shower...? my unconditioned hair and the fact that i didn't get out until 6am says probably. studied. put on a crew neck sweater and jeans. ate cereal. almost fell asleep over my cereal bowl. did flash cards. at 7:45am, left my apartment. tried to use my apartment key in my car door and for five minutes couldn't figure out what was up. oh. had to scrape my windows (if you really want to know what living in idaho and montana is like, just picture scraping your car windows every single morning 5 months of the year because that's all you need to know). forgot gloves in my apartment so by the time i was back in my car, i could barely feel my fingers and/or steer. decide i need a pick me up and i quit buying coffee at espresso stands so i deserve it since it's officially less than an even occasional thing. drive five minutes out of the way to my favorite coffee stand. to my demise, at that moment, a giant truck of sorts that does this sort of thing is literally picking up my favorite coffee stand that is raised off the ground. my favorite coffee stand, gone!? WHAT!? get back on the interstate and go to starbucks immediately upset about the extra .75 cents i'll spend. end up with another free coffee (starbucks god's just love me, i tell you) because the lady in front of me had ordered about a dozen coffees and paid for mine. got to my test twenty minutes early. crammed. finished my test with a half hour to spare and nailed it.

so now, even though i still have four papers to turn in by the end of the week, i realize even though i'm stressed out and it's bringing back the old pre-med stress jitters, this kind is entirely different. it's a HAPPY stress. i enjoy the pressure of writing a short story in a matter of hours and getting to pretend i'm a sociologist and dissect william faulkner's characters. 

so the moral of the entire story: this is what school stress should be. i may want to puke thinking about all that i have to do, but i don't want to cry about it or have a mental breakdown. and maybe this shouldn't be the big revelation that it is, but IT IS. because normally, yes, i would be in tears.