these days, i catch myself hesitating before i post some blog posts and wondering how personal is too personal. it's become a fine line between keeping a balance of lighter 'what's going through my mind right now' and 'the things keeping me up late at night' heavier posts. and if i'm being truthful, the two do seem to coexist in next to one another continually, never one without the other. in the past few months especially, i've become aware of a much scarier audience than i was aware of and that's the crowd of people in real life i now know read my blog. and anymore i can't help but think of the individual faces who i know will read these very words and that they know the people i'm talking about.
it's somewhat daunting. i really don't want to make all of this sound like i'm complaining-because getting to this point is kind of a fist pump in itself!- but it's started to make me think a few times before posting and coming to affect how i blog. it's always been just a google search away (proven by the number of people that google my first and last name followed by 'blog' to find it) but now that those people in real life are coming forward i've become somewhat...self conscious? don't worry- i'm not saying my blog is extremely profound or big and important. my blog really is just a silly day to day record of my life and i know most people aren't reading between lines dissecting every word. i think those people are AMAZING when they say anything nice at all to me about my blog in real life (!!) and i get butterflies for hours after something like that happens. but behind that 'publish' button i've started wondering which people will read what and what will get back to others. i start to worry about precisely what this person and this person will think and wonder how another will react.
but, this is my blog. and i want it to stay that way, untouched by who reads it and who knows about it. if something i have said gets back to someone, well, so be it. i like to think i keep things very straight forward and truthful, so as long as those things are true and nothing i say is inherently bad, i'm in the clear.
that being said, hopefully now i can breathe easier when i inevitably write my end of the year posts. and all the posts i want to write and have held myself back from writing i will be able. maggie can get more personal!? yes, yes she can. and there's a lot more to say about everything.
8 comments:
I find it so ammazing that you share your pictures and details about your life and your thoughts, because whenever I blog (and I haven't been blogging for a long time yet)I am just so scared of the thought that someone I know would read my posts or find my blog. And so you are like an inspiration to me, and probably to others too :))
- thingsshedreamsof.blogspot.com
I get really worried sometimes when I share things on my blog too, because you never know who is reading it, especially when they don't know you. I think you do a great job with what you share, though!
Also, I'm really liking that first picture; how adorable! Also, this is the BEST blog post title ever! Love Gilmore Girls.
xoxo,
laura
http://lauraisthriftingthroughlife.blogspot.com/
During my first year of teaching I began getting a lot of people searching for my blog with my full name. I went through and took any instance off of my last name off of my blog and I am now unsearchable by name.
I share a lot as well and I love being able to share, but it has helped me find comfort in knowing people have to search for my blog name to find me opposed to searching my name.
Hope you figure out the balance that works for you!
Oye with the poodles already is one of my mum and my favorite quotes from the Gilmore Girls. If that adorable reference didn't automatically make you my favorite blogger then your honest and humorous posts definitely have. Thank you for sharing your stories with all of us!
Maggie, I wish I knew you in real life. You've never said anything terrible about anybody as fr as I've read. You've simply been honest about your feelings and you have a right to do so. Don't let it hold you back. Honestly, your frankness and sincerity have helped me greatly because reading your posts gives me a "Thank-God-someone-else-felt-that-way/experienced-that-too" feeling. It's actually rather brave of you to post with the vulnerability that you do and I'm sure I'm not the only one who is grateful :)
I completely know what you mean. I recently shared something on my blog that was pretty personal. Oh no, blogland, a my-life-is-actually-not-perfect type post! It was such a big deal that I felt weird NOT posting it. Like I wasn't being honest.
And I get the creepy feeling when I look in Blogger Stats and it tells me someone searched my full name to find the blog. I'm just hoping it's a relative that can't figure out bookmarks...
Basically, I hear you and I feel the same way. I love that your blog is real. Props.
Gilmore Girls, right? I love that show. Anyway, I do understand what you mean. When I started blogging on a more public platform I was anxious about who saw what. Now I think I've gotten over that. But sometimes I do wonder what certain people think when they read my blog. Worst part of it honestly is: Given the genre I try to portray--creative nonfiction--everything becomes more raw and emotive for me. It's easy to say something hurt my feelings. It takes more for me to say how it truly tormented me. When I open myself up to say something like that, and I know someone is reading, I have to be willing to be honest with them. It can be scary, but I think I've gotten used to it.
I'm right there with you, I always think about what detail I'm giving before I post, but then remember that my favorite-favorite blogs are ones that share personal details of life. It makes them more interesting and personal, you know? What a conundrum!
-Sara, Road to the Heart
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