red wall, green boots

Let's get one thing straight. My Hunter Wellingtons are my favorite item that I own. I wear them in rain, sun, and snow. If they weren't so expensive, I'd probably buy them in every color and wear them every single day. They are absolutely my favorite gift that I've ever received and I get so many wears out of these babies! I realized today that I'd never worn them here, which is strange considering how often I do wear them. I got dressed today prepared for a rain day and put on my atypical rain uniform: a dress, tights, Hunters, big cozy scarf, and a big bun. It didn't rain... but finding this red wall while I was wearing my Wellies seemed like fate anyways.

Also! I've sometimes worn my fake UO readers here... but I always feel a bit silly walking around in fake glasses. Today, I just happened to be wearing my actual prescription glasses when we went out to take pictures and happily obliged to show them off! I used to have boring glasses that were cheap and completely covered by my insurance. But once my eyes got worse enough that I had to wear glasses all day long at school, I invested in a nicer pair with a bit more punch and I love them. Maybe one day when I get over my fear of touching my own eye, I'll opt for contacts but for now I'm happy being a four eyes when I drive, go to class, watch movies, and watch tv.

a creative writing assignment: miranda july

I've had an index card taped to the wall in front of my desk that reads, "What a terrible mistake to let go of something wonderful for something real." I'll be honest, it was something I came across on tumblr and proceeded to jot down so that I could think about it some more and it wouldn't just be something I reblogged and forgot about for forever (...wait? what? I have a tumblr? That's embarrassing). It wasn't particularly inspiring but something I was perplexed by. Regardless, I taped it to my wall when school meant there was a heap of papers on my desk and I wasn't ready to let go of the words I hadn't figured out yet.

When I have to do homework, I usually do one of two things : procrastinate by cleaning or procrastinate by going to the gym (proving I'll do anything not to do it)(this makes me sound like so much more of an active/"together" person than I am but I'll tell you now I'm not a gym person nor a clean person). One particularly frustrating day, I googled the quote I'd seen on tumblr and happened across a dozen more oddly perplexing but increasingly more fascinating quotes that after a few scrolls and clicks revealed themselves to be excerpts from Miranda July's "No One Belongs Here More Than You" book of short stories! Alas! Miranda July is an accomplished college drop out that at 37 years old has published two books of her short stories, directed and written the film Me and You and Everyone We Know (now at the top of my 'to watch' list), and did all of the above while acting in Portland, Oregon.  She'll also tell you that school got in the way of her beginning her adventures/aspirations and actually changed her own name to July based on a zine. Um, way cool.

I justified spending the twelve or so dollars on a copy of "No One Belongs Here More Than You" by telling myself I'd use one of her stories as my blog post for this class. Except, once I finished the book from cover to author's note, I wasn't quite sure what I thought anymore. The quotes I loved so dearly were needles in a haystack of a jumbled combination of plot twists, obscured reality, and a whole thought of stuff. In fact, in most of her stories I rushed through them so quickly to get to the quotes that I loved so much that I wasn't even sure what the point was or what it was about (...not that either is always necessary in a good story). Her amazing one liners that stand alone as quotable index cards to hang on your bedroom wall are perhaps the clearest clues as to the meaning of her story but other than that, she doesn't give you much but leaves you out on a limb to decipher the rest.

The story that stood out among the rest of the sixteen stories packed into the yellow covered book to me was called "Making Love in 2003". It begins with a nineteen year old young woman sitting in the living room of a publisher's home with his wife who told her that the fictional piece she wrote had "promise". One year after telling her so, she's back with the ultimatum that this moment will define if she is going to be a writer or if she is not going to be a writer. Unfortunately, he doesn't show up and she instead finds out that the woman who is eager to get her out of the house is none other than a famous author and also that her classmate is ahem getting risky with the publisher in his frontseat. The rest of the story follows revealing what that fictional piece was about (at first I thought it was a rape until I then realized it was the true story of her first love that she let go of) and then what she does when she teaches teenagers with disabilities. I still need to read it again to wrap my mind around all of the pieces, but the way in which the narrator recounts her relationship with the 'dark shape' is both relatable, haunting, sad, funny, and all together something I can't forget in the most genuine of ways. And I think I fell in love with being confused?

My favorite lines from the whole story:

For the first six months, I just walked around in a constant state of amazement. I looked at other couples and wondered how they could be so calm about it. They held hands as if they weren't even holding hands. When Steve and I held hands, I had to keep looking down to marvel at it. There was my hand, the same hand I'd always had- oh, but look! What is it holding? It's holding Steve's hand! Who is Steve? My three-dimensional boyfriend. Each day I wondered what would happen next. What happens when you stop wanting, when you are happy. I supposed I could go on being happy forever. I knew I would not mess things up by growing bored. I had done that once before.

If you like funky stories that are both emotionally driven and somewhat chaotic while still remaining down to earth and relatable, I'd recommend her pieces. I love how she makes out of the ordinary circumstances feel, well, normal such as an entire story about a woman who teaches swim lessons in her kitchen. Then again, the more I read her work the more I just want to read read read Miranda July and write less because I'll never write something so brilliantly.

sincerely,
maggie.


*this was an assignment for my creative writing class
**go read Miranda July now

"the mondays"

I tried really hard to like today. In fact, the universe seemed to want me to have a good day. It gave me a wonderful cup of morning coffee, an easy 7:30am wake up call, a brisk three hours of class, and a delightful package from Jasmine with lots of great goodies. I tried. Because what reason did I really have to be unhappy? I'm a believer in saying what you need to say in the moment, a little lesson I learned last October. If someone reacts differently than you hope, then at least you said what you could and can't regret that. But then I remembered that when I'm sleepy, I get emotional. Emotional to the point of pulling out The Fault in our Stars just to cry. And then I felt stupid for getting emotional over something that actually was so much more simple than I made it out to be in my tired little emotional head. I'm an overanalyzer and overthinker and I'm aware of both of them that are both my strengths and my greatest downfall when I've gotten three hours of sleep. Especially when I've gotten three hours of sleep. Of course, once I realize that I'm exhausted and that's why the whole world seems to hate me as it so clearly does not, I realize that I really have no reason to be upset at all and feel dumb for loathing in self pity which makes me feel worse.

In the end, it's nearly dinnertime and the fact that I have no class tomorrow means that I'm going to sleep in, get a full night's rest, and drag my brain out of its funk. I may over-think things, but I am good at forcing myself out of a bad mood, too.

him&her: boat shoes

he got them first. in fact, he's had the boat shoe bug for a long while now. she finally joined the bandwagon (...original? hardly) and instead of picking up a pair of toms, went for the sperrys. after a couple days, it's safe to say that the boat shoe craze is entirely justified. sturdy, cute, practical, and most of all comfortable. sorry, toms, you were fun for a while but you didn't even last a full summer before you got all holey and flimsy. i already know that this is the start of a beautiful and long relationship with these new kicks. and now she and him match wherever they go and can play the part of the obnoxious couple that buys matching shoes. if they wanted.

not them

there are the kind of people who don't have to study at all, don't get nervous for tests, have all the confidence in the world going into a test that they're going to do well, but i'm not one of them.

there are the kind of people who know exactly what they're meant/born/supposed to do with their life (however, i'm increasingly aware of how few of those there are), but i'm not one of them.

there are the kind of people who always have clean rooms and seem to do laundry every single week without fail, but i'm not one of them.

there are the kind of people who go on a lovely jog when the first sunny day pokes its head through the montana clouds that are stubborn as heck and don't lay in the grass after downing an ice cream cone, but i'm not one of them.

there are the kind of people who are seemingly perpetually tan, or become so at the drop of a hat, but i'm definitely not one of them.

there are the kind of people who can write short stories under 35 pages that are concise with a few awesome sub-plots that connect well with the main plot and end with the right amount of questions left unanswered and the right ones answered, but i'm not one of them (i like to find the small details in everything).

there are the kind of people who just seem like they can glide through life being handed every amazing opportunity ever without ever really failing at anything, but i'm not one of them. the kind that 'have it all together', but i really don't and i think maybe that's okay for now.

there are the kind of people who fall in love easily and frequently like it ain't no thang and can say so without wanting to pull their hair out or die at the thought, but i'm not one of them.

there are those kind of people but let me tell you, i'm realizing at nearly twenty years old that i really and finally like being my own kind of person in every silly and not-so-silly regard.

two years ago

on april 11, 2010 he told me he liked me for the very first time. i pulled out my old journals just for fun last night because i couldn't sleep and flipped to today's date not knowing that two years ago to the day it was the first time that he said it. i remember that night perfectly and i remember driving home with a huge smile on my face and writing about it seconds after i got home.

was i shocked that he said it? no... not really. the entire school knew. i thought i knew. but he was the last to figure it out. but to me, it was one of the sweetest moments of my life until that point. there were a couple people i'd "liked" but no one that really made me think was worth risking something for.

no one i'd liked enough, anyways.

i couldn't explain it, i couldn't decide why i thought that he was so special nor why i thought that there was something there. i didn't know, but i guessed and taking that leap of faith got us further than i ever expected it to. i can't believe that it's been two years or that it turned into what it did. i had an inkling that it was something, but i didn't know. i couldn't have guessed anything that would have happened after that. clearly, i didn't think we would survive the summer, do the long distance thing, survive the long distance thing, and make it to the same college. i don't know why or how, but it's been two years and he hasn't stopped saying it since.

i'm lucky.

spring giveaway!

i'm really, really excited to finally announce my giveaway!

bethany of his&hers vintage is sponsoring $25 of store credit to her store

to one winner and i am providing an extra gift set of my favorite sweats ever 

to victoria's secret that was shipped to me! 

in the VS giftset includes:

-one size Medium tshirt

-one size Medium pair of capris fleece sweats

all you have to do is be a follower via blogger!

to enter leave a comment below with your name

and a way to reach you! 

my giveaway will end on april 25th.

*bonus entries*
-follow on instagram (maggeygrace)
-blog about it (send me the link below!)
-leave a comment for each additional entry

*if you enter via twitter, simply tweet me your entry

but with the hashtag #lifesizepaperdoll!

visit bethany's shop for more goodies like these! they're lovely.
really, i'm not just saying that.