lifesize paperdoll

q&a: the relationship!

2012-02-13T09:03:00.000-08:00

i wasn't planning on doing a separate q&a post just about me and my relationship, but i got an overwhelmingly large amount of questions on the subject. like, a lot. i like to be honest on my blog and in a lot of ways, i write it almost like i would a diary in terms of recounting what's going on in life. niklaas has been a part of that for almost two years and while i know everyone is here for different reasons, i'll probably continue to talk about him for as long as he's present. i guess i'm trying to get the point across that this is not a "look how great my boyfriend is" kind of blog and i don't ever want to make it seem that way. there are those out there that probably have their judgements (mean anonymous commenters that lurk around) but i truly do blog for myself first and it is important for me to write content that's prevalent in my life. aka, i'll always talk about the people in my life if there's something i want to remember about them. he's my best friend and one of my favorite people to hang out with and go on adventures with. but he's not my whole life by any means. i really did go back and forth on a separate q&a post all about him and me and us but in the end, i liked the idea and it was fun to read your questions! plus, niklaas contributes a lot to this blog by taking pictures and it's kind of fun to include him in this little celebration of sorts. so here we go!

how did you meet?

her: i think the first time i really connected his name 'niklaas' to his face (i always heard about him or of him in high school) was when we ended up sitting together on the plane to mexico. of course, i was more interested in another boy sitting next to me and niklaas had a girlfriend so it wasn't more than a i-think-this-kid-is-the-cutest-kid-i've-ever-met-and-i-want-to-be-his-best-friend kind of attraction. i didn't have a crush on him until we spent an entire day together playing hooky at my elementary school with our mexican exchange students... and he still had a girlfriend.

him: In the airport on the way to save baby sea turtles! No big deal or anything.

what is your favorite thing about one another?

her: i think my favorite things are the things people don't know about him that i know. like, he's an amazing poet. and he's really bad at saying he isn't okay (we have that in common). and he loves hip-hop. he can be good at talking about "real" things alone but be outrageously funny around groups of people, too. and i like his pictures a whole lot. and i like that we're complete opposites but still similar. for example, you can probably tell that i talk a lot and he doesn't but that's okay. and he's just one of my favorite people.

him: Her contagious smile and passion! Definitely her passion for...well, just about everything. And her contagious laugh. Really. And how she listens to all the bands I force upon her. How she's pretty open to just about everything, and that she's so supportive of all my photos, really! It means a ton to me, since I definitely wouldn't keep it up if people didn't enjoy it. That and her writing, which is fantastic. Seriously.

how did you make long distance work &

would you do it all over again?

her: i ask myself every day how we made it work and i really don't have an answer. we talked on the phone, texted, and skyped... but it was still the worst thing in the world and i'd only ever do it again under similar circumstances. he had wanted to go to montana for a long time so we knew there was a possibility that we wouldn't be long distance for more than a year. i think at the end of the day what got us through was just liking each other more than the distance set us back.

him: It was a lot of texting and phoning and skyping, but it was terrible, really terrible, and I don't know if I could do it again. It was rough, really rough.

how long have you been together &

how did you get together?

her: three months away from two years! when his girlfriend came back, he left shortly after for a trip to california. i knew i had to tell him somehow that i was half in love with him but i couldn't actually "do" anything but let him figure it out himself. which i kind of accidentally helped by giving him a taylor swift cd that basically confessed my feelings.

him: 21 months! Everything she said is true, It just kind of happened one day while I was off in California, and it was kind of a shock when I realized it, but...what are you going to do?

describe one another's style?

her: i love his clothes! i think it's cool that he went from an all flannel wearing hipster to a cashmere, cardigan, button down, boat shoe, and layering kind of guy. i look at him and giggle pretty frequently.

him: I really enjoy her clothes, she's big into patterns and florals, which I'm really not into all that much, for myself that is, so it's fascinating to see how our styles are pretty dialectical.

what's your favorite memory together?

her: oh man! it looks like we have the same one. shucks! but i agree. going to tswift was incredible. not even the concert, but driving 8 hours together to seattle was fantastically fun and exciting and adventurous. we didn't feel 18, and in fact, we didn't feel like any age at all. we were just one with the road and listened to music and talked and just... drove. it was amazing. we took a pit stop at a park for two hours and napped and laughed and read cosmo together in the grass which was a blast.

him: Is it weird that mine is exactly the same? Well, it is. Driving is the best, seriously. You all should go on a road trip, just to do it.

do you have exciting adventures planned that you want to do &

what would you like to do in the future together?

her: i want to go on more adventures!!! glacier. the coast. canada?? someday europe?!

him: Traveling! Absolutely! There's nothing better.

describe your first kiss?

her: awkward!? well. maybe. i was 18 and probably the only 18 year old who had never had the experience, so it kind of took him four tries on four separate occasions. i seriously turned my cheek to him every time! hahahaa. i love that now. but i liked it nonetheless and it's a cute memory to look back on my fairytale-like prom with him and remember it that way.

him: Um, yeah. It was pretty awkward.... that's all I'll say.

what sets you (together) apart from other couples?

her: i think the fact that we're best friends first makes doing the most mundane things easy for us. errands. shopping. watching television shows. going to iHop for dinner. putting together packages to send people. it doesn't really matter what we do, we have fun no matter what. and being so different, it always keeps things interesting. we just kind of click.

him: I think that the best part is that we're fantastically compatible, we really get along better than most other couples I know. I think it's phenomenal, really, that we don't have many fights, or anything, we just really get along, and I think that's the best.

what's "your song"?

her: hmm! taylor swift definitely played a big part in us getting together by being the little bird to tell niklaas i was the one he belonged with. seriously, though. other than that... i always think of "home" by edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros because whenever i came home while i was away at school, he described the day i came home as "coming home edward sharpe style today". it made me blush.

him: Baby That's Not All by Josh Ritter. It's just...beautiful. Seriously. Just go listen. It'll make sense.

what is it like being at college together and going from

high school to college?

her: it's different than i ever expected it to be but it's also exactly the same, too. we do the same things. go on the same adventures. enjoy the same things. but being a "high school couple" is not the same as being a "college couple". we've had more things to work through but we've gotten to know each other better, too. and it's really cool to "grow up" with someone and see him exploring his own new world at college!

him: It's fascinating. Just the whole, having so much time to spend with each other, and then the times when we really shouldn't be spending every waking moment together, because it's just too much, so it was a difficult process, but in the end it's pretty fantastic.

not a friday night girl

2012-02-10T17:59:00.000-08:00

i have never, ever been a Friday night girl. well, okay, that's not entirely true, but it is mostly true. i guess in high school i was more social than i think i realize (my sister boasts that when i left for college, she didn't even notice i left because i was never around anyways) because i was usually at someone's house watching movies or playing board games (the extent of my exciting life in high school, truly). anyways, once i got to college and realized a college week can tire the heck out of a person, i realized the beauty in a Friday night of solitude. after a week of parading around campus, studying studying studying, exchanging only brief texts with family, and waking up toooo early, there's nothing better than coming home after a long Friday (my Fridays always seem to be endless) than collapsing in bed and catching up on hulu. it's honestly rare that i'll do something too social on a Friday night. going out for a movie is kind of pushing it. that's not to say i'm totally closed minded to doing things, but i definitely need a nap and a solid two hours of hulu time before i'm motivated to be social if i am to do anything at all. what can i say? i just like calling my grandma on friday nights and hanging out with meredyth grey.

tonight, however, niklaas and i are going to star wars in 3D and i have to admit, hanging out with that kid kind of sounds better than anything after an organic chemistry filled week.

p.s. anyone know how to fix flickr!?

it's thursday

2012-02-09T17:07:00.000-08:00

it's thursday, which means tomorrow is friday, the worst day of the week.

ochem test, class until 5pm starting at 8am, and watching everyone else get done at noon. meh.

it might be my second night in a row eating pizza.

but, you know, tonight it's "dorm" pizza, so that doesn't really count, does it?

it was supposed to be '500 reader week' last week, but it's turning into

500 reader two weeks (i have bits more coming!)

i really can't figure out why none of my pictures on flickr seem

to want to show up on the blog as pictures and instead show up as a jumble of letters and numbers.

niklaas and i were told we had "nice sweaters" on yesterday by a random stranger.

this week i've been lazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzy

(yes, emphasis on the zzzz illustrating that i've been sleeping too much).

i'm so bored of winter.

hurrrry up spring!

lauren moffat is my favorite designer and person. i want her life. and her child....

my days are truly made when my favorite bloggers post.

i like and i absolutely loathe statistics.

john green is the greatest person that ever lived
and i don't know if niklaas and my relationship can continue until he reads TFIOS
(my bible).

that one winter dance

2012-02-08T09:35:00.000-08:00

this one time, i accidentally kind of got tricked into asking this boy to a dance. it was embarrassing, to say the very least. there was a new kid in school who had a really goofy grin and really goofy ears that i thought was kind of cute and maybe someone i wanted to become pals with, that is, if i could get past my awkward tendencies to act really awkward around people i've never talked to. that was the disadvantage of a small high school, i suppose. essentially, at some point in my life, i had probably shared a class with or talked to every single person in my school. everyone did. everyone just knew each other. so talking to someone new was not a practiced skill (and i quickly realized how out of practice i was when i got to college)(mom and dad, how do you make friends!?!?).

so the annual girls-ask-boys dance was around the corner my junior year and when my friends asked me who i wanted to ask i jokingly said goofy grin and goofy ear boy just because i really wanted to befriend the really funny kid that also stayed after school to do trig homework in mrs. mckennon's class and i had that silly wanting-to-be-friends-with-a-person kind of crush on him but not in a i-actually-want-to-date-you kind of way. anyways, on the monday before the dance (i repeat, the MONDAY before the dance), one of my friends who had a class with him texted me saying that someone else had asked him and i had better get on it if i wanted to ask him because he hadn't given the other girl an answer. um, okay? five minutes later i get another text saying, "WE DID IT!" in my mind, i kind of imagined the entire scenario of me asking him being really awkward and i could never do it because we had never actually spoken and for that matter, i doubted that he even knew who i was but in reality, it was so much worse. i freaked out and sent her ten texts in a row not even bothering to hide my phone in my sweatshirt during class demanding to know what she meant. what she meant? they had written all over his next teacher's board in class with dry erase markers asking him to the dance... with my name attached scribbled with hearts and flowers and bright pink writing. i could have died right there in my math class. there was no undoing it. he had that class the very next period. i was screwed.

so of course he saw it and of course i was more embarrassed than i'd ever been in my life because i was certain that he didn't know who i was and he'd only been at our school for maybe a few weeks so i only imagined what he was thinking about this totally strange girl asking him to a dance. i avoided the hallways for the rest of the day and hid from him at lunch. unsuccessfully, i ran into him, and i mean, i literally ran into him while trying to sprint through the hallways after school to get outside and go home but he thankfully did know my name and stopped me nicely. i tried my best to regain some sort of composure and play the whole thing off like it was just a "friendly" gesture. in the end, he was super nice about it and thanked me for asking him (i'll be honest, mormon boys can be some of the sweetest boys around and while i don't like to stereotype people, that is one stereotype i feel okay acknowledging because some of the most respectable boys i knew in high school were mormon) but said he was going to go with the girl who first asked him because she asked first. but he suggested we hang out sometime and over the semester, we were friendly and while we weren't really "friends" we shared a lot of mutual friends and ended up hanging out with our groups of friends at times.

anyways, to make a very long winded embarrassing story short, i never in a million years would have asked a stranger to a dance, but afterwards, it felt really good, even if i couldn't take any real credit. i thought he was going to think i was a freak. i thought he was going to take things the wrong way. and while i didn't do it, "i" took the first great leap to make him my friend and i've since learned that if you want to do something, you should just do it. 95% of the time, a person won't think you're too weird for approaching them first and getting all awkwardness out of the way right off the bat has a huge pay off. you always think something is going to be way worse than it turns out to be. i made some of the best friends i've made in college by just taking the plunge and striking up a conversation with the girl holding a book i like on the elliptical next to mine or sitting by the cute kid on your soccer team in genetics (*cough* that's actually my next plan of attack).

not prepared

2012-02-06T14:26:00.000-08:00

i wasn't convinced that today was the day. i got a solid seven hours of sleep, but a busy weekend left me exhausted and grumpy this morning. i wasn't in the mood for stepping outside my comfort zone and making today "the day" i made my impression in creative writing class. i was hoping modcloth model might forget that it was my turn to read out loud but with forty minutes left in class, she decided we were going to take some time out of class for people to read out loud. ugh. she asked for the first volunteer and sitting in the very front row directly in front of her, i averted my eyes and waited for someone else to pipe up. of course, no one did. i looked up and she was smiling at me and asked me wasn't it your turn?

without looking behind me at an entire class of creative writers just as if not more infatuated with literature as i am and writing it, i started reading. my belt was too tight around my dress and i felt myself talking too fast and having to take awkward breaths at the beginning of each sentence. i was nervous. and then something remarkable happened. three sentences in, i heard laughter. and in the next paragraph, moans and groans as i described the disgusting food at our cafeteria. and more laughter when i described the stereotypical college student in a cafeteria. and more laughter when i rudely critiqued college culture throughout the story. by the time i reached the second page, i was smiling as i was reading, anxious to get to the next part. people were laughing but they were also listening to me. as i reached the last line, i wasn't nervous or shaky anymore. i said the word 'fuck' out loud in front of my writing class and the entire room erupted in laughter at the punch line of the entire story.

modcloth model was more than just smiling, i couldn't ignore that. she was beaming. and clapping. and she said that it was wonderful and set the bar for how the rest of the class should be approaching their writing. she asked for critique from the room, and more than half of the class chimed in and contributed with nice words. i sat there with my hands over my face and i almost think it's more difficult to hear people say nice things rather than mean things to you. it was just a small assignment, something i started without knowing how it would end but gradually found hooks in different characters until they were speaking for themselves. i didn't spend more than fifteen minutes on my first draft. it was really, really nothing special but something i cared about, too. it was the first thing i've written since the first day that made me so excited about the class in the first place.

we didn't get to anyone else. modcloth model lectured the class using my piece as an example of how to approach all of these themes, techniques, and ideas in their stories that i really didn't even intentionally mean to use as a creative writing approach to tell my story.

i didn't think i was ready and i didn't want to do it, but it was my day.

a perfect weekend

2012-02-05T19:51:00.000-08:00

a perfect weekend

watching hulu on a friday night, sleeping in until 11:30am, spontaneous trips to the mall,

starbucks, laughing at cute babies with a comb over, seeing a scary movie in theaters, wearing long johns into starbucks (for a second time), the forester's ball, wearing

men's flannel, a roommate that will take 300+ pictures at a dance, being completely exhausted by the time sunday night arrives, being too busy to check facebook, being too busy living to blog, meeting parents to skii on sunday, a road trip with niklaas listening to tunes and being made fun of for loving jbeebs&sean kingston's mashup, "i'll have your babies!!!!!!", watching your roommate kiss (on the cheek) and take pictures of at least six different boys in one night, singing loudly in the car to taylor swift and having a boyfriend who will as well, looking snazzy together for "date night" and accidentally matching, finishing a disc of friends before bed, listening to ingrid michaelson and lana del ray's new albums, hot chocolate, dinner with my cousin, getting pity money from mom, recounting last night, being so tired on a sunday night you want to fall asleep by 9:30, a hot shower, zero to no homework, chap stick after being completely wind burnt, seeing ten deer on campus while walking home, a nice boyfriend that takes care of sick friends, a perfect grilled cheese, about a million new pictures to add to the "sophomore" album, and laughing randomly in the shower recalling various hilarious moments between nine fifteen and two in the morning from saturday night.

2012-02-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

dear YOU,

when i started blogging, i had no idea who i was going to meet, the friendships i would make, the blogs i'd become obsessed and inspired by, nor the overwhelming amount of support, feedback, and love you'd all send my way.

all of you are truly beautiful.

i've blogged since i was 16/17 and just a little high school student who didn't really know how to act around her peers (...okay, that hasn't gotten all that much better), was half infatuated with my best friend who didn't know i existed (...okay, he did, i'm not nearly as transparent as i like to think i am), had no idea where i wanted to go to college nor what to study (... remarkably, a select few of you were around when I was going back and forth between my choices), and really didn't know why i was blogging or what i wanted to do with it (...except just blog).

in all honesty, i started blogging for myself as a means of creating a sort of digital journal. it made sense to record all of my adventures and memories with pictures into a blog post. i never intended for *real* people in my life to read it or to attract readers. in fact, for the longest time, i didn't even have a title nor a layout. it just existed with my own private pictures and such.

then one day something crazy happened. a stranger commented on my blog. and i responded with an enthusiastic thank you comment that in return, gained another reply. another stranger commented and then another until i had a few frequente visitors and bloggers i started to get to know. it was crazy! i leapt out of my chair every time someone new commented on my blog and was interested in something i had to say that was never meant for an audience.

eventually, my audience grew a little bigger and at that point, i feel the need to be truthful. my blog is my own and something i'll always stand behind 100%, but it became what it was because of you. i never would have continued posting pictures if you hadn't liked them. i never would have kept going without your always kind words and amazing support. in retrospect, 500 readers is really not as impressive as the largely popular blogs around, but considering i never intended to have one reader i'm truly thankful to each and every one of you. i feel blessed to be 19 now and still blogging, sharing tid bits of life, and creating an amazing little time capsule i'll always be able to look back on.

thank you <3<3<3
love,
maggie

q&a: me!

2012-01-31T09:00:00.000-08:00

(one) where were you born?

i was born in moscow, idaho! my doctor's name was maggie and it was purely coincidental that my parents wanted to name me 'margaret' after my great grandmother, but my doctor thought they named me after her and thought it was the coolest thing in the world. i like to think i was her most special delivery in that case.

(two) where do you go to school?

i go to school in missoula, montana at the university of montana! i study biology and i'm on the pre-med track. i have a minor in creative writing but i might be switching my major to journalism with a minor in biology. it's complicated.

(three) what do you love about your life?

oh goodness! thinking about it, i think everything i love about my life i love because of my family. i love my family to no end. i love my mom who isn't afraid to stand up for herself or what she believes in and i always know that she's there for me. i love my dad who is absolutely the goofiest person i know and says things like "yo" and "ding-bat" and "bomb diggity squat" in every day conversation and sends the best emails ever. i love my little sister who i shared a room with for 11 years and is kind of my other half in that we think the same things, talk the same way, can say stuff like "you know that thing? oh my gosh it's so, you know" and we know exactly what the other is talking about. she's perfect. all together, we are kind of chaotic and our personalities clash just as often as they mesh, but i love that we're all so close. i can't imagine not having a solid family background at all and i pretty much obsess over them.

(four) where would you like to be in five years?

i will be 24 in five years. i hope by that time, i've successfully graduated, studied abroad, gotten into a medical school or physician assistant school, volunteered for peace corps (or something awesome), and moved someplace awesome. i hope to be able to be a practicing physician and if i switch my major to journalism, become a science journalist of sorts and volunteer all over the world for doctor's without borders while writing about it. i have a weird love for viruses.

(five) where do you get your inspiration from?

i get my inspiration from almost everything. a little kid at walmart laughing in the toy section. a terrible rap song on the radio. the most amazing book i've read in months. lyrics from a song. looking out my window (ha, so cliche). looking at old pictures. blogs. an awesome smelling lotion. coffee shops. walking downtown. magazines. old playlists on my iPod. making phone calls to people i like. pinterest.

(six) what were you like in high school?

high school. high school. i don't really know what i was "like". i was in most of the honors classes/ap courses that i could take and got good grades. i was in national honor society (a big fat joke), environmental club (i got to save sea turtles in mexico), bpa (short lived), and bear buddies (mentor to elementary kids). my high school was pretty small and for the most part, clique free so i didn't really have one solid "group" of friends. i was more of a floater with close friends here and there. i consider myself to have been pretty shy in high school, minus senior year, and that's the one thing i wish i could have changed about my experience there. there are so many people now i wish i would have tried to get to know better or earlier! but for the most part, i was the wall flower that studied hard, had an average amount of friends, played soccer, involved in club activities, and blended in pretty well.

(seven) what is your favorite kind of ice cream?

cake batter and anything with cookie dough or brownie bits.

(eight) what's your best high school memory?

my best high school memory without a doubt was going to mexico to save sea turtles. it was just an extraordinary trip camping on a beach for a week with a small group of students that i can't really sum up in words. however, if we're talking specific instances... i think one of the best moments in high school ever was the time i got locked on the secret fourth floor. i was a ta for my english teacher and one day was given the task of running up to the hidden fourth floor where the special education offices were. i figured out how to get there, but when i reached the room, i realized that no one was there and it was pitch dark. as i went back down the stairs in a special little secret dark creepy stairwell, i realized that the doors locked from the outside. i didn't have my phone with me and proceeded to sit there to wait for someone to rescue me. after twenty minutes, one of my good friends who was also a ta showed up and being so excited that someone found me... i forgot to make sure the door stayed open so that when she walked into the stairwell, it closed behind her. so we were both trapped together for at least an hour. it was kind of awesome. and i didn't get in trouble.

(nine) what's your worst high school memory?

we're going to have to dive into the world of tmi's for this story, but i think it's well worth it. being a female, i once got my monthly blessing in the middle of my french class. i went to the bathroom and due to its oh so perfect timing, i had no other option except for needing to go home and change, promptly. i called my dad from the bathroom and told him to please excuse me from school for the next hour so i can walk home and change because i'm having serious womanhood issues and he said he would, no questions asked. so i awkwardly squirmed all the way back to french down the hallway hoping there was no one behind me and by the time i got back, my teacher (who is awesome) runs to me and says that she covered for me, but that i needed to go to the principal's office and the secretary was very angry with me. ummm. i explained to her what was up, which she understood perfectly, but still went to the principal's office. once there, i waited for our ever so welcoming principle named "bob", just "bob", squirming in my chair. he walked in with my secretary and the assistant principal as well. ridiculous? a lot. the secretary told bob that my dad had called and said that he'd gotten a call from his daughter to be excused. in moscow high school world, this is a huge no-no. if you want to be excused from school during school, you absolutely have to go to the secretary's office and call your parent using her phone standing in front of her to listen in on your conversation. there was no way i was going to explain in front of her to my dad that i was having womanhood issues and i knew if i used a "sick" excuse my dad would probably think i was lying, so i had to call from the bathroom. so, the secretary was really digging into me, pissed off as i'd ever seen her, while i'm literally fuming in my chair listening to all of this. finally, bob steps in and says, "maggie, what were you doing in the bathroom?" in which i decided to completely forget about the little censorship device in my head that separates what's appropriate to say from my thoughts, and said loudly without yelling, "I GOT MY PERIOD AND I'M LEAKING AND I NEED TO GO HOME TO CHANGE OUT OF MY UNDERPANTS!" okay, i might have screeched a little. but it was really horrible and he shut up promptly and i think it was the only time i ever saw bob silent and i ended up staying home all day.

(ten) do you want to have kids? if so, what would you name them?

YES. YES. YES. i love babies. and children. i love everything about the sticky little adorable beasts. my roommates and i all joke about how weird my children are going to be and i'm pretty set on "xavier dennis" "zeus-bob-frank" and "audrey faye". two boys and a girl. i'd probably prefer two girls and a boy, but i can't think of another awesome girl name. not yet.

(eleven) how is college?

COLLEGE! college is college. i think it was a bit of a rude awakening to get to college and realized how much work it was going to be. not the school part (although that was a challenge) but the adjustment and making friends and being independent and being without my family. i mean, i did it all and i did it all pretty well, but none of it was exactly handed to me. i was so excited to get to college but i didn't realize just how not easy it was going to be to find good friends and find a niche. it's worthwhile and exciting to start over and build a life for yourself, but college has a way of making you feel lonely, exhausted, and worthless at times. in my experience. but it is awesome to feel like everything you get out of college is because of the work you put into it. and i put a lot of work into it. and now it's wonderful and amazing.

(twelve) are you a crier?

yes and no. i don't cry in front of people. and when i do cry, it seems like it happens all at once. all of the sudden, i'll cry about every sad thing that's happened in the past month or more. however, i do kind of enjoy crying because once it's out, it feels really good to be done with it. i think it's kind of therapeutic.

(thirteen) what's the best good thing to happen to you?

yikes! getting a scholarship? moving out? LEAVING MY HOME TOWN?

those three things are note worthy. definitely. and my parents would probably agree with all three as my greatest accomplishments.

however, if you're asking me, and you are, the best good thing to happen to me was getting picked by taylor swift to meet her after her concert. best night of my entire life. i kind of (kind of a lot, actually) worship her. it. was. the. most. amazing. experience. ever. i think for me it was one of the most inspiring experiences in my entire life. call me stupid, i can handle that. but standing in front of someone who literally made their every dream come true for themselves was amazing. it radiated from her. she was so completely thankful for every kind word i said and i never, ever thought i'd get a chance to meet my idol. you can't stand in the audience of her shows and not feel like there is anything else she should be doing with her life. you feel like it's what she is honestly born to do. i was in complete and utter awe of that alone.

500 readers week!!

2012-01-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

as far as reaching 500 readers on blogger, i'm a little excited. i'm not claiming to have an outrageously successful blog or that i'm really cool (because i'm not) but i feel really blessed nonetheless. 500! that is so cool! that's like the entire size of my high school! so i've decided to make this a 'yay!' kind of week and i'll be posting different things this week along the lines of two q&a posts from questions you all submitted, an awesome giveaway, a compiled list of my favorite blogs, and other exciting-ish things that i hope we all enjoy. yay!! thank you.

like but dislike

2012-01-29T12:00:00.000-08:00

i like coffee in the mornings but i don't like texts that get unanswered or ignored.

i like lotion and perfume and nail polish but i don't like make-up minus a really great liquid eye liner.

i like living with girls but i don't like it at all at the very same time.

i like being in college but i miss the days when not studying got me an A and all I had to worry about was that night's homework, not picking a major.

i like shopping at goodwill and salvation army but i also have a really big crush on anthropologie and modcloth.

i like fridays and all but i really, really hate having organic chemistry quizzes until 5pm.

i like exercising but i really hate waking up early enough to go to the gym and if you don't go until after 3PM, you'll never get an elliptical.

i like kindles but i also really love the feel of a book in my hands.

i like listening to music but i also love the silence of an empty dorm room at night.

i like being young but i also really wish i was a *little* bit older.

i like blogging but i hate being on the computer for too long despite what my sister might say. it makes my day feel useless.

i like speaking my mind but i'm also scared of how the other person will react.

creative writing

2012-01-28T12:00:00.000-08:00

on the first day of school, i wrote about how infatuated i was with my creative writing class.

my teacher was basically a modcloth model straight from the website and completely wonderful and adorable and really, really enthusiastic (enthusiasm makes for the best kind of teachers). i can trust her.

two days in, i'm realizing how much of a challenge this class is going to be to get out of it what i really want out of it. every lecture, we're required to do the reading and instead of writing an analytical response as i'm so used to from my high school english classes, we are required to write a "fictional response". i didn't think this would be that difficult. however, it's proving to be extremely difficult. i can definitely get away with just mindlessly writing something that will work with a few good ideas, but i'm realizing i want more than that. i don't want to just effortlessly go through the motions in this class. i want to really push myself. for the past year and a half, i've journaled, i've blogged, and i've written a lot of non-fiction in various word documents hidden in folders on my laptop, but i haven't really dove into the whole "fictional" world. most of what i work with is from my own life and my own experiences so getting inside someone else's conscious that another author created is a little bit like a puzzle. and every single one of us has a different interpretation of every story which just illustrates the gaps and holes that the readers are supposed to fill. it's hard.

i'm realizing i know how to write about my own life. i know how to write an interesting story that happened to me. but i have no idea about the crafting of a fictionalized story that isn't about me. i have no idea how to convey my writing in a different way than i'm used to. i have no idea how to reveal a character story and create a character "arch" as they develop. i have no idea how to create a puzzle, revealing the pieces slowly. i have no idea how to pull back.

i've excelled in my english classes this far into my life but for the first time, i'm taking a class that isn't about a grade. i want to become a better writer. i want to learn how to write a character and i want to learn how to reveal that character (perhaps the most difficult task of all). reading these short stories for class and discussing them in a group has made me realize how many details there are in crafting a story and just being a good writer doesn't mean a lot. a good writer can be a good writer but can be terrible at crafting an intriguing story.

my goal for this class is to listen and observe with wide eyes. i want to soak in every single thing modcloth model has to say and every single thing my classmates discuss about the stories we read. i want to push myself further than i've ever been expected to and learn what it takes to "craft" your writing. i'm at the point of desperation in my writing and i'm realizing that i do what to be heard. i want to write and write and write and write. i want my teacher to read everything i write and give me feedback. i want my classmates to read and figure out my own puzzle.

this could be the best or worst attempt i've ever made in writing.

January happy playlist

2012-01-27T11:02:00.000-08:00

my "happy" playlist:

sparks fly taylor swift// i won't give up jason mraz// you and me gustat spetz// do you wanna the kooks// let us love needtobreathe// reptilia the strokes// who says selena gomez// the cave mumford and sons// crushcrushcrush paramore// daylight matt & kim// count on me bruno mars// eenie meenie sean kingston & justin bieber// fearless taylor swift// go on, say it blind pilot// grace kelly mika// grow a pair ke$ha// here comes your man meaghan smith// i woke up in a car something corporate// howl florence & the machine// rattling locks josh ritter// mushaboom feist

i've never and will never call myself a real music buff. i don't claim to have the best taste in music, as clearly illustrated in my happy song list. i'm definitely more of a blast-your-music-in-your-car-and-sing-along-to-every-word kind of music listener. i'm a lyric girl. i'll listen and look for songs with lyrics that melt my heart. a song that somehow captures exactly how i want to say a feeling in a few words perfectly put together can have a magical kind of effect. i don't believe in "good" or "bad" music nor in genres. i'm not a genre whore. i'll listen to anything and everything because if i like it then i like it and it can be so simple as that. in fact, i kind of envy people that stick to one genre and find crazy cool music that they're strictly passionate about and know everything about. i'm not that cool. i just listen to what i like and soak in every single word.

cranky spell

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

the worst kind of cranky is the kind where you don't really have a reason to be, but you just are, and then you feel even worse because you know you're being too self loathing and making everyone around you annoyed. i woke up at 6:45am today feeling tired and stressed out just three days into the school year. how can a teacher tell his students that last semester we didn't get to five chapters and he didn't expect to be teaching this semester, so now we have to catch up on what he didn't teach the previous semester and take a quiz on it the first week of classes? i'm a good student. i do my homework. i do my reading. i'll do what it takes to understand something. and i can honestly say that last semester i had the worst classroom experience in a class i've ever had. taking a final and not even being able to narrow down any answers of 75-80% of the test was unbelievable. there's not studying and taking a final... and then there's not learning and taking one.

anyways, i guess i was feeling defeated before the semester really even kicked off. i took three short naps all day and generally projected my bad mood in whiney complaints. i was annoying myself. i just wanted to go home and curl up in my down comforter and ignore everyone. i wanted a hug but i'll be honest, i'm too stubborn to admit when i need one. or when i need anything. i like to pride myself on being a "happy" person that doesn't let small things get my mood down especially when there are people that have it worse and i don't feel like i have reason to complain about a single thing, but there are days when i'm just a grumpy mess.

so what did it? telling someone i was grumpy. a text later informing me that yes, it was obvious to everyone was humbling. as people, we're always growing and learning and i'm still learning that it's okay to not be okay and asking for what you need isn't a bad thing. it's the "grown up" thing rather than moping around being an annoyance to others.

unexpectedly happy things

2012-01-25T11:15:00.000-08:00

before i went back to school, i had lunch with a friend who reads my blog

and she told me she liked reading my lists.

i have nothing else to post today and i never really thought my "lists"

were much of anything, but they are fun to write and now i know

i have at least one fan!

things that make me unexpectedly happy:

-being forced to wake up at 6:55am on Mondays, Wednesdays,

and Fridays. followed by 3 hours of classes. it means i finish my day by 11am

and i feel more productive in the morning. score

- cleaning my dorm room

- the dorm cafeteria. i missed their chocolate milk.

- trying new food. potatoes yesterday. apple pie sometime

this week.

- living without a tv again. hulu is truly my best friend

- being back at school. this means living in close proximity to niklaas

and spontaneous breakfast dates are a thing of the present. also, being snowed in?

a thing of the past. yayay!

- having three roommates once again.

- solid tights. usually i'm a print gal. i'm kind of loving the solids lately, though.

mustard yellow, red, white.

first day of school

2012-01-23T18:11:00.000-08:00

nothing says hello to spring semester like a 7:00am wake-up alarm. however, on only the first day, i managed to oversleep when in the middle of tossing and turning in my bed in the hour prior (i'm always restless before the first day)(also, it's quite an adjustment to go from my perfect soul mate mattress at home to a still uncomfortable with three mattress pads dorm bed) and mid dream, i managed to convince myself that it was actually tuesday. thus, making myself think i could sleep in because after all, i didn't have classes on tuesday. this was in the middle of dreaming. even my subconscious wasn't ready for school to begin.

and yet, after a skipped shower (at one point, i was awake enough to realize that my dreaming self was completely and utterly wrong and all too manipulative) and quick hair brushing (it's a good morning when that gets done), i walked to my 8:10am class. it was pretty dreary outside and still a wee bit dark, but it was oddly peaceful, too.

i might regret saying this later, but i'm actually kind of excited and motivated for my genetics class. it might be the first biology class in college where i'm not scratching my head 75% of the time wondering why i'm taking the class and why my major is biology. genetics just sounds cool, doesn't it? my professor also spent 18 months in chile and tends to veer off into random stories about it. also, he has a southern drawl. i like it. i like it a lot.

at 9:10 in the exact same room (pretty much every single one of my classes are in the same two rooms in the same building)(that's what happens when you're a science major) i had stats. um, ew? i don't know why but i just don't get the stats vibe. thankfully, i do have friends in there. how cool is it to recognize five or six people in college? i think it's cool. anyways, my stats teacher seems a little bit like professor trelawney from harry potter (do i even need to specify who she is?) except with a southern drawl as well. i'll be listening to "ya'll's" all semester long. for two hours a day three times a week. welp.

after stats, i walked across campus to my next class: creative writing. fiction. i don't think i've ever been more nervous for a class in my life. aside from writing 101, i've taken all science and math classes in college. not because i'm scared of the work, but because i'm scared of actually going to figure out if this is something worth pursing (aka if it's something i'm good at). plus, letting other people read my fictional efforts makes me want to scratch my eyes out this second. seriously, my blood pressure is rising just thinking about it. i walked in and sat in the second to the last row in the middle of the room between a girl with eleven piercings from her nose and chin (i'm not judging, she actually seems pretty awesome) and a girl with a white iPhone. Sorry, but people with white iPhones immediately earn my admiration. they are classy devices. and, just as class was about to start, she entered the room. and my first thought (after my jaw promptly snapped closed) was THIS GIRL COULD BE A MODCLOTH MODEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she was wearing the most amazing vintage black knee length dress with a white ruffled color and shoulder pads. plus, adorable patterned tights and the cutest oxford brown heels that i've ever seen. oh, and a red belt. and her dark hair was pulled aside in a side pony. she is adorable.

so, of course, being the awesome person she is, she made us read our writing out loud on the first day (ohhhhhhhh shoot). of course, we didn't know we'd be writing our handwritten biographies to the class. so of course, mine was definitely a page long run on sentence of facts about myself here and there consisting of the statements that taylor swift should seriously have a restraining order against me, i am 19 and never want to turn 20, i believe in fairytales, i hated dinner, i sometimes expelled flatulence when i laughed really hard (along with my sister), i wanted my name to be maggey grace with an -ey, i spent too much money at modcloth, and i had no idea what i really wanted to do with my life except write about it in composition notebooks because my obsession with everything ultimately leads to my own demise because i can't for the life of me decide on one major. anyways, it basically sounded like someone on drugs and as people went before me, i was like shoot. everyone of these crazy cool creative writing people kept theirs "normal". i didn't even mention where i grew up or what i did in high school or who was in my family or anything as factual and normal like theirs. so when it came to be my turn, i started reading my page long run on sentence and heard laughter around the room (making me red in the face). ugh. when i finished, modcloth model beamed at me and clapped and said, "i love sentences that never seem to end. that was excellent!" um, okay. the girl after me was still laughing and began her biography with, "well, mine is not nearly as interesting but here we go." interesting? you mean out of her mind? so, moral of the story? i walked away somewhat excited.

it's only 1:00pm, but already my first day is starting off well. i could finish this blog post at the end of the day, but really, who am i kidding? everything notable just happened. and i don't think i've ever been more excited to be in a class than i am for creative writing. because reading out loud was actually somewhat... refreshing/cool/exhilarating? minus the tmi part.

sorry for my absence, the power was out

2012-01-22T22:32:00.000-08:00

winter decided to take its sweet time making its way to idaho (...or to everyone, it seems) but when it did, it made sure that two snow days would be inevitable, freezing rain would leave an inch thick of ice on our cars (which is terrible, might i add), a powerless night would result in eating dinner by kindle light, i'd get to have my sister in the house just before i leave, i'd have a perfectly justifiable reason to do nothing but curl up in my down blanket drinking coffee and cozying up in front of the television, and the world would look winterified.

6th street hill

2012-01-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

once upon a time, i started driving my dad's old 1983 suburu loyale. it took a lot of loops in the parking lot, trips around the triangle park, and start/stop practices in my driveway, but when i thought i could handle the real roads, i took my stick driving skills to school. the first time, it took me 25 minutes to get to school. which is... less than a mile away. within that first week, i left my english paper at home. uh oh. i was forced to drive home at lunch, alone, to get it. leaving right around the time that students were returning from lunch (i had an open period after), i ascended 6th street hill- a hill that is virtually a mountain. i started out just fine, even confident, but as i reached the halfway point of the hill, stanley (my car) started to stutter (office reference!). and...stutter it did... to a complete stop on a narrow two lane hill. i looked at the gas gauge and realized... i was out of gas. around me, cars were walking and a line of cars had formed behind me. all honking.

i don't know when i started crying, but i think it was after calling three of my male friends and still not being able to do anything but sit there like a new 16 year old driver (i.e. idiot) while people starting poking their heads out of windows and line the street. ugh. not long after my phone calls failed me, not one, but two cops showed up. the first one came up to my window, saw my tears, and immediately froze. i guess a crying hormonal 16 year old girl is slightly unnerving. he asked me if everything was alright (...clearly not) and what seemed to be the problem ("i have no idea! i just learned how to drive stick and i think i'm out of gas and blah blah blah blah!"). finally, he made some fancy cop hand signals to the cop below him and turned to me and asked if i could put the car in neutral and reverse the car down the hill. wait, what's neutral!? by now, dozens of high school students were returning to school. the first cop parked at the top of the hill and the second car parked at the very bottom. embarrassing. still crying, i figured out what neutral meant and let my car roll... slowly down the hill. slowly.

a chorus of applause rang in my head when i made it down safely and my car was hidden from public eye and could not disturb the public any longer.

today, i woke up to a foot of snow outside. now a pretty experienced stick driver three years later, i reversed my car out of the driveway today elated that i drove a suburu (and laughed at the beetles and two wheel drive sedans roaming the streets) with four wheel drive. yes! somehow, i managed to completely forget my terrible relationship with 6th street hill and found myself at the top of it... with only one way out: to go down. going 5 miles per hour, i managed my way halfway down and just like the first time at 16, it seemed i was going to make it. until 3/4 of the way down, i was suddenly fishtailing. and suddenly perpendicular to the hill. and then completely flipped around now facing the trick that had been behind me. luckily, he seemed to have some amount of intelligence in his head and had stopped when i started fishtailing.

my car stopped, dead in the middle of the hill for the second time in my life (two times too many and one more than i ever intended after the first experience). luckily, i had gas. and i started stanley up again and he started perfectly. i turned the car around easily and made my way down. because only in idaho is fishtailing and sliding down a hill just a normal obstacle in your day.

i held every breath for you

2012-01-16T09:00:00.000-08:00

When I packed up my belongings and excitedly (...okay, and nervously, too) moved to Montana, I don't think I quite understood the landscape I was leaving. Growing up in one place for your entire life kind of makes you forget that the rest of the world doesn't have everything your hometown does. In my case, the thing I missed most when I left and realized that the rest of the world didn't have them was the rolling hills that Idaho has to offer. Every single time I come home, I kind of get lost in the magic of descending into my little hometown nestled between the rolling hills. Montana is beautiful and their mountains are more impressive than the ones found in my hometown in Idaho, but there's something irreplaceable about being able to drive through the back country between the hills.

I think that's part of what makes me unmotivated about taking blog pictures in Montana. I just love taking pictures in Idaho too much. It seems like they always turn out pretty. Which is largely due to those rolling hills that aren't found anywhere else. But, truly. It's hard not to be inspired living in such a place. I guess going back to Montana is going to take some extra effort!

I'm kind of obsessed with how these pictures turned out. As Niklaas was taking them, he kept saying, "Oh my gosh." Which basically translates to, "These are really amazing." The bad thing about getting such good pictures is that I can't post all of them and narrowing them down is so tough! If you all aren't sick of my red tights yet, I'm going to keep wearing them. I'm absolutely obsessed with them. Walking around downtown has definitely attracted a lot of stares (not my intention at all) and is kind of embarrassing, but I love them. This black, white, and red trend I have going might not stop. Hehehe!

Niklaas was wearing a really adorable outfit when we went out that afternoon, so of course I had to take a few pictures. I tweeted a picture from instagram and I loved your comments! I think it's been kind of awesome to see how his taste in clothing has changed, too. It's not very different, but he definitely isn't a strictly flannel boy anymore. I'll be honest, a boy in khaki skinnies, boat shoes, cardigan, and button down pretty much does it for me. In my college classes, I tend to text my best friends about well dressed cute boys in my class and secretly hope to befriend them all. I can't really imagine dating a boy unlike Niklaas in that way! *swooon*

Speaking of Montana... I go back to school in one week. I really shouldn't be complaining because my six week winter break is longer than, well... everyones. I've pretty much done nothing over break. I'm not sure how getting back into the swing of a schedule is going to go but I'm really not looking forward to nor excited for a new semester. Excited to move out of my parents house again? Yes. Excited to see my roommates? Yes. School? NO. I guess that's the difference between sophomore and freshmen year.

I got this dress last spring. As in... almost a year ago. Oops. One of my New Years resolution is to keep wearing all of my clothes. I got better at it, but there are still a lot of things that don't get worn. I tend to be a phase girl and by that I mean that when I like something, such as an outfit, I'll wear 10 variations of it for a month straight. It's true. This dress and these tights might be my January/February phase. I'm in love! I left these heels at home over the fall semester and I pulled them out of the back of my closet at home last week and have since worn them twice. T-strap heels = the best!

Anyways, I hope you guys liked these pictures as much as I love them! Sometimes, I can't believe what a lucky girl I am. Thank you, Niklaas!!! <3 You are the best-dressed-greatest-photographer-adorable-boyfriend ever.

Outfit:

Dress & Tights- Modcloth

Shoes- Urban Outfitters

Bow- Forever21

the notebook

2012-01-15T14:18:00.000-08:00

i remember the first time i ever watched the notebook. and no, it wasn't with a boy. it was with my sister. i was probably no older than 15 and by the end of the movie, i was almost laughing. the thought that two people one year older than me fell in "love" was amusing. i didn't believe in it. needless to say, i hated the movie and i definitely thought that fairytales and fantasies were a joke. fast forward two years, and i watched it again. i don't know if it was the age difference (although that very well might be the case) but for some reason, i found that i liked it. and maybe a little part of me hoped that fairytales did exist. clearly not to girls like me, however, who was nearly 18 and had never even kissed a boy (a fact i never admitted to anyone). but there was a small sliver of hope inside me that hoped that maybe they exist in the far, far future. and that small bit of me watched the notebook every single time it was on television and even recorded it to my DVR.

not even six months later, i got one. a real live fairytale. i think people tend to undermine teenage relationships (me included) because 99% of the time, they don't last and no one really thinks that a 17 year old can know anything about "love" when they've only known each other for a few months. however, i gained more than just a brief summer 'romance' so to speak and more than a cliche lovey-dovey fairytale. i gained a best friend. a really, really good friend. and that's what my fairytale was. finding someone that i had a crush on who had a crush on me that i loved hanging out with more than anyone. someone i could watch movies with, play video games with, go shopping with, go on errands with, and sit around my house and do what i'd do alone with someone. and maybe a litttttle small piece of me thought that maybe i knew kind of what allie and noah had. a little bit.

i made niklaas watch the notebook on friday night. yeah, okay. cliche. date night. watching the notebook. aside from thinking that he just really needed to see the cutest love story ever told as someone who is a huge hopeless romantic, i really did want to see it again (with him) to enjoy the irony of it. a movie i used to hate because it portrayed romance in such a frilly, obsessive kind of way that i was now watching in a relationship with someone in a more or less similar kind of way.

but when it was over, i looked at him and realized everything i ever thought about romance and relationships was completely wrong because of that movie. it was cute, sure. we have our cute moments, sure. but a better story is a real one. one with ups and downs, falling in and out of love at different times, struggling at moments, and a lot of work. our story. and after a rough period of adjustment and resettling, i realized that i loved the place we were in at that moment. it wasn't a "notebook" kind of happy. it was better. with everything behind us (long distance, two different schedules, starting college together), we could finally just be "us" again. happy. easy. and with a future to be excited about.

brown and black

2012-01-14T11:27:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning... to 500 followers! I've been waiting for that day for a long time and ever since taking a bit of a long term blogging break, that's probably the perfect motivation to keep me on schedule- which has been really refreshing and awesome. Anyways, I have a few things lined up for a giveaway that I'm quite excited about, so keep your eye out for that this week!

My best friend Margaret took these pictures. She's taken the last two sets! Niklaas has been spending his winter break productively working eight hours a day, so stealing him before the sun goes down is absolutely impossible. We drove out of town to take these and in the middle of taking pictures, I saw a man with a long white beard and flannel hobbling towards us. You know I'm from a small town sheltered of real "city" characters when I instinctively thought it was a hobo/serial killer/college girl prowler. He was, of course, neither of these things but a friendly house owner who thought we were broken down. Oopsies!

I walked into the living room yesterday wearing this and my mom just looked at me and said, "Brown and black, Maggie?"Like it was the most ridiculous thing in the world. Personally, I've always thought brown and black do go well together and no one proves that better than Tieka. Plus, I hate those dresses that have an awkward waist line and all of my belts are brown. So what are you going to do? I got pretty unlucky with my Modcloth Christmas haul. This dress along with another out of the three I received tore and ripped in places within the first day of wearing them. This dress had a button in the back which fell off and the seam also unraveled in my own fingers. Ugh! Well, I'm spending this weekend reading (...of course), hanging out with Niklaas (yay for not being sick anymore), and watching Vampire Diaries. I'm obsessed.

Outfit:

dress- Modcloth

shoes- Urban Outfitters

tights- the Gap

belt- Modcloth

bow- Forever21

the fault in our stars

2012-01-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

two nights ago, i picked up my kindle and downloaded "the fault in our stars" by john green. i had no idea what i was getting myself into. i think it was maybe fate that i had no idea what it was about- for the first time, i didn't obsess over the few blurbs about the book i'd seen on the internet nor try to seek out little facts. i knew nothing about it.

like niklaas pointed out to me today while i was nagging incessantly at him to read it, it isn't rare that i'll read a book in one sitting. it just tends to happen. especially when i'm on winter break and niklaas is sick and i have nothing else to do in an empty house except read. constantly.

i'm not a big crier. i'll tear up in books and get sad watching movies, but i've never shed more than three tears in a story. the fault in our stars? not the case. before the book was even nearing the end, i was blubbering. by the end of the book, i was facedown-in-my-pillowcase-shoulders-shaking sobbing. real sobs. it was unbelievable.

i'm not going to tell you anything about this story because i think it's one of those stories that you should go into without any prior judgements or knowledge. it made a difference. but i will say this. it was one of those sad books that isn't good because it's sad (like so many books i read). it's good because of everything surrounding the sad, everything building up to it, and everything after it. the sadness is oddly uplifting and so completely and beautifully written in such an honest way that sets it apart from every other "sad" story. because even though it's sad, it really isn't. it's so much more than a sad story. it's laugh out loud funny. the characters are so unique and crazy but still relatable. it answers so many questions about life and death without being obvious. it's subtle. and perfect. the entire story is just so "real" that by the end, you really do forget the rest of the world.

do yourself a favor and read this book. now. this second. go. you won't regret it. put it at the top of your list.

Red Lips

2012-01-11T09:00:00.000-08:00

A little less than two years ago, I started a blog. I didn't know what I wanted to do with it and I didn't know where I wanted to go with it, but I was obsessed with the incredibly stylish and more importantly, confident girls with blogs. These girls wore crazy prints and crazy tights, had amazing lives, and wrote about their lives in such a fascinating way. I wanted to be able to walk out the door with their confidence. I wanted to be able to walk into my high school wearing something that no one else would wear. I wanted to wear the clothes hanging in my closet with tags hanging on them that I never dared to wear. I was so inspired by these girls that at first, my blog wasn't about wearing clothes. It was simply a way to document my life through pictures (and it's been the best gift in the world to be able to look back on memories from two years ago with such a vivid recount).

For me, blogging isn't about the clothes. It never has been. It's not about posing "cutely" in "cute" dresses. It might seem that way. In fact, that's why I've never really broadcasted my secret little blog that is becoming less secret by the day. For me, it's always been about figuring out who I was. If I could become the person I wanted to be to the outside world, I would be more confident and happy. And I did just that. It's a little corny to say that I "blossomed", but when I started blogging, I became a more outgoing, more confident, happier me. I became the me that I have always wanted to be. Now that I've found that, I blog because it's a passion and something that's fun for me. It's just fun! I blog with the intent of (hopefully) inspiring others to think they are awesome enough to step outside as the person they are on the inside. Corny, but so blissfully true. It's truly made the biggest difference in my life to be the weird, loud, happy person I am now.

I guess I'm talking about all of this because this was the first "casual" dress I ever purchased. By that I mean that it was the first dress I ever bought that wasn't for a dance or formal event. I bought it after I found fashion blogs and I dared myself to try it out. I'd never worn a dress to school until that day. I'd never worn a pair of tights until that day. But I did! Some, actually a lot, of people took notice of the change from jeans and a tshirt to a dress, green cardigan, and leggings. It was crazy! I took "blog" pictures for the first time in this dress and posted it on chictopia. From there, the rest kind of came naturally.

I'm getting so choked up writing all of this! I spent a lot of time this weekend rereading so many old posts (notably: the story of Niklaas and I! I teared up) and I just can't believe how many of you have been a part of the process. I'm not what I consider a crazy successful blogger- but at the same time, I wouldn't want it to be anything else. If I'm never, ever sponsored again, I'd be fine with that. I'm excited about where it's going and I feel like it's really just starting. The day I blog for a different purpose aside from making me happy is the day I give it up. Thank you all for the support! I definitely owe you all a blog giveaway sometime in the near future.

Outfit:

Dress- Forever 21

Tights- Modcloth

Sweater- Forever 21

T-Strap heels- Urban Outfitters

people

2012-01-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

when i was a freshmen in high school, i had this best friend. i thought this person was the greatest person on the planet and oh my goodness, she just understood me perfectly. we could talk for hours and they would listen to everything i had to say and was always there for me! eventually, other people started to realize how awesome this person was, too. and then we moved to the big high school and a lot of people started to realize how pretty this person was as well. they were the complete package. but i still felt special even as this person was surrounded by so many people because, "maggie, sometimes i think you're the only person that understands me. so and so does this and this and just doesn't get it!". i felt special when i saw my name on this person's lunch calendar. i felt special when this person talked about all of her other friend's and all the cruel things they did to them. and then the day happened when it felt like everyone was calling this person their best friend... and then the day happened when i got stood up. and stood up again. and three times. and then this person had a significant other in their life who was a senior and just "so cool". and i realized that i wasn't unique. not to this person who never asked to make plans with me and never called me first. it was a one way friendship and i killed myself to always be there for this person when i had to be scheduled, and often skipped, into their day.

it was a big lesson but maybe one of the best lessons i ever experienced in high school. it took one person to really show me what being a friend was and what being a friend was not. and as soon as i realized how much of a one way friendship it had become, it was over. sure, there was some drama and it ended in a way i wouldn't have chosen with too many parties involved and ugly words, but from that point forward, i decided i wouldn't accept anything less in a friendship than i deserved. we all deserve friends that pick us up and don't even have to ask if you need them to be there for you, they just are. we deserve friends that care enough to pick up the phone as well. effort goes both ways.

two years out of college, my friendships are changing again. the people i valued so much in high school are changing. of course, this is to be expected. people change. can i blame them? not really. we all make new friends and create new lives for ourselves. in a way, i can't really expect the same people to stick around. at the same time, the disappointment of unanswered texts/emails/messages always hurts.

there are people i thought i'd always be close to. i think that's what's most surprising and disappointing. but, in spite of everything, i've also realized recently that there are people i wouldn't have expected to become even more close to after high school. i spent last week with people that were casual friends in high school and maybe it's silly that i'm only now realizing what amazing people they are now that we've graduated, but it doesn't change the fact that they're the ones that come back time and again over every single school break. and they're the ones that are growing as people and will grow with me as i navigate this "growing up" phase in my life. it's strange. but somehow, reminding myself that people who want to be in your life are the ones that make themselves a presence makes me feel alright. it's all okay.

It's only love we're falling into

2012-01-06T09:00:00.000-08:00

I am currently in the BEST mood I've been in for probably too long. I don't even know if I could pinpoint exactly why I'm in such a fantastic mood but maybe it coincides with the fact that Niklaas is back in the country and has cell phone service? (I was more excited to be able to just text/talk to him again than I was for Christmas, honestly.) Maybe because after 4 missed Modcloth dress attempts, the perfect one arrived on my doorstep with an adorable *free* bow included? Maybe because I wore an outfit I really happened to like today and one of the cutest gay men I've ever met told me I had good style (but he hated my bangs)? Maybe because I got my butt into gear and showered before noon and did something with my day (i.e. go to a coffeeshop which was amazing, write a letter to Alex, hang out with Hailey). Whatever it is, I'm on an endorphin high and I also happen to really like my messy bun and clean room right now. (Also, I commented on 50+ blogs today and returned all of your sweet words :)!)

One of my New Years resolution is strictly related to blogging and that is to get dressed like I don't have a blog. Ha. I can't tell you how many times I wake up, think about blog pictures later in the afternoon, and scrutinize every detail of what I'm wearing until I hate my entire wardrobe. I think I actually end up liking the outfits I wear on days I'm not taking blog pictures more and I want to take more pictures of those days. Today happened to be one of those days. And my last post, too. And the one before that. Blogging is supposed to be fun not stressful! I'm on a positive frenzy today. It might be getting out of hand, guys.

This outfit began with the simple double scoop dress with the purpose of serving a productive day for me (dressing up always means productive in my world). And then I put on the most recent crazy tight addition to the crazy tights Maggie family. And then the scarf Niklaas got me for my graduation two years ago because it was soft. And because I knew a cold back never means productive, a cardigan. And then I decided I really liked the end product and I really wanted to see my best friend Hailey so I could freak out about one of our...erm, mutual friends getting engaged and my boyfriend taking that person's engagement pictures so then she ended up taking outfit pictures for me downtown. Huzzah! What a hyped up sentence that was. So, as you can see, this is the kind of thing I wear on a day to day basis. Truly!

After a full week of outfit posts, I have to admit, I miss the usual life posts I got into the routine of posting. Maybe if I get really organized I'll start posting three outfits in a week and the normal two to three life-y ones. Now that's organization! We'll see. Whatever you see next is just as much of a surprise for you as it is for me! Bye love bugs <3

don't be scared, it's only love we're falling into.

Outfit

Dress- Urban Outfitters

Scarf- Gift

Cardigan-Delias

Tights- Urban Outfitters

Shoes- Urban Outfitters

I could start fires with what I feel for you

2012-01-04T09:00:00.000-08:00

As much as I wish December looked like this right now... these pictures were taken back in November. Missoula had the prettiest fall I've ever experienced. The orange and yellows looked good on the Missoula historical neighborhoods! It seemed to last forever! I loved waking up and looking out my window every morning for almost three weeks to an orange and yellow world. It stuns me sometimes when I realize what a gorgeous part of the country I get to go to school in. (I'm trying to think of all the things I love about my school so I can rant about them when I speak at my old High School this week about Montana. Note: scenery.)

Niklaas and I actually took these pictures before we went to see Jack's Mannequin! I've been obsessed with this skirt for ages but I never knew what to wear it with. I just happened to feel brave on the day of the JM concert and rummaged around in my roommate's closet until I found this gorgeous top and threw it on. I actually wore this outfit most of the day with wedges but there was no way I was going to walk to dinner and the concert in wedges. Nope. I am and probably never will be a regular wedge/heel wearer. But I wish I were! The concert ended up being amazing and it was a pretty great date night.

I have spent all day in bed and I mean literally, all day. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with such a bad backache that I had to take four ibprofen and lay in bed for what felt like forever until they kicked in. The reason became clear the next morning when the cramps came. Eww. Isn't being a girl just glamorous? I practically had to drag myself into the shower and when I got dressed, I was raking through my laundry bag from school (still haven't done it) and found... Niklaas' Weakerthans shirt! So I've been wearing it all day. There's something about wearing your friendboy's tees that just makes you feel better even when you're in bed with a headache, backache, and mindache. I've missed that kid. I don't know how we went weeks and months all of last year not seeing each other.

I'm writing this on Sunday (night) and by now it's Wednesday, but I really hope by Wednesday I've accomplished some productive things. I need to clean my room thoroughly and bag a lot of my old clothes to go to Goodwill. I also need to clear my desk so I have a productive place to work. Ugh. I can't believe how fast this break is going compared to last year! Then again, I'm getting very antsy to go back to school and finish off sophomore year. Bali is only 4 months away! Eeep!

Outfit:

Skirt- ShopRuche

Top- Roommate's closet!

Tights- Jcrew

Boots- Wanted

Bow- Roommate again!

Bowdacious

2012-01-02T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hello, 2012! I'm starting the year off with a brand new... outfit post! Looking back over my 2011 posts for my recap, I realized a lot of things. Even though I ventured off of the outfit blogging while things got busy, I found that some of my favorite posts are my outfit posts. Some of my favorite memories happen when Niklaas and I are taking pictures and I love reading the bits and pieces of our adventures in those blog posts. I hope that I can get myself organized and productive enough this spring semester to continue outfit posting in addition to the more life related posts you guys have seen a lot of lately!

My break has been pretty off the walls busy lately. Immediately after finishing my finals, I flew to Boise with my cousin and grandpa to meet up with my mom. We stayed there for a few days and I got to spend a few hours with my aunt being interrogated about my personal life and being told what a "keeper" Niklaas is. Ha. I babysat my delightfully adorable and energetic cousins for a full day and by the end of it, I was not so convinced that I wanted 16 kids anymore. Two was difficult enough. And that diaper change? Repulsive. My mom and I flew home after a few days where I got to finally come home. I spent that time cleaning, eating food that was not dorm food and loving every bite, and getting a few blissful dates in with the friendboy. It's been pretty surreal to realize coming home and being back in Idaho together that we're really a "college couple". A long term one. Visiting our old places was a little strange but exciting nonetheless.

I remember seeing this dress on urban Outfitters a couple summers ago and absolutely loving it. Bows?? Sleeves? A conservative neckline?? Too perfect for words. However, I didn't pounce on it when I should have and it didn't take but a few days for it to disappear from my shopping cart. Well, Tieka updated her shop a few weeks back and on the very last page I saw that she was selling hers for a mere $10. I squealed! It was a Christmas gift to myself. It is ridiculously short to the point of everyone I know commenting on its lack of fabric, but it's comfortable and mildly acceptable with tights. Tieka wore it in the summer but I couldn't wait to wear it, so I gave it my "winter" spin with a scarf, tights, messy bun, and favorite hipster glasses! (I kind of want a pair just like these in a tortoise color).

Guess what?! I have two more blog posts scheduled for this week and I fully intend on commenting on some blogs this week as well. Lifesize Paperdoll is back in business. Huzzah!

don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard.

Outfit:

Dress- Urban Outfitters

Scarf- American Eagle

Tights- Urban Outfitters

Shoes- Urban Outfitters

2012

2012-01-01T14:12:00.000-08:00

hi 2012!

i'm so happy you're here, even if you don't feel very different or special yet.

in 2012 i'm going to:

- get my fearless groove back

- laugh more

- speak up (two tswift album names in a row, har dee har har!)

- run constantly

- listen to music more frequently

- learn to sew

- read for 30 minutes a day, at least

- look forward, dwell less on past mistakes

- go on crazy adventures

---get a job in missoula---

- coach a soccer team

- write more

- take more pictures

- blog more consistently

- be happy

New Year: 2011 Recap!

2011-12-31T20:08:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest... New Years is probably my least favorite Holiday. I'm pretty certain that all but maybe a couple of my New Year Eve's have been spent on the sofa with my sister watching the ball drop at midnight. It's never really been something I've been "excited" about for whatever reason. However, this year might be the first exception in 19 years. A fresh year definitely feels like something to be excited about. Fresh starts, new goals, new attitude... Yeah. I'm there.
january
For the most part, this year started off wonderfully. Last New Years was spent on a couch next to two of my favorite people (Niklaas and my mom) at one of my favorite places in Idaho (coffee house). I spent most of January relishing in the fact that I was home again after a difficult semester away from home at college. I learned to crochet by watching youtube videos and made them obsessively for everyone I knew. My most viewed blog post to date had nothing to do with clothes or fashion at all and was in fact just a list of 100 weird things about me. Niklaas wrote a blog post for me and picked everything from the shoes to the headband to the location. It was cute.

february
By the time February rolled around, I was back in school and ready for a new semester to dig myself out of the academic hole I got myself into. Fall semester, I had spent way too many weekends at home and once second semester began, I knew I couldn't afford lost weekends to study like that anymore. I wore my Taylor Swift autographed cowboyboots in an outfit post that I still love to this day. I think I said it best in february when I said that sometimes it's harder to say "i need you" than "i want you and I wrote a blog post to all them single ladies on Valentines Day that hated being single.

march
In March, I wrote this blog post which I think captures everything about my experience with being in a long distance relationship and how it really feels. It was hard but really, really worth it. I spent a Friday night in my dorm room watching An Education on netflix which to this day is one of my favorite movies I've seen. I also had the pleasure of showing my cousin around my college and I think that weekend sealed the deal because he chose the University of Montana and now attends school with me! Aye aye! I also fell in love with Montana this month. I think it had something to do with going to the hot springs, hiking the "M", and being in the Lolo forest. It was a little mesmerizing.

april
Of all my freshmen year, I think April was my favorite month of them all. Starting college was such an interesting experience filled with adjustments and constantly battling homesickness (it hit me so unexpectedly) but I definitely think spring semester was when everything just clicked. I was between friends most of fall semester and it took a while to settle in with a solid group of friends. April was really the month that we became a unit and I'm so excited that I get to live with those girls now! Last winter was a brutal winter and I was so excited to finally experience some sunshine in April. We got in an interesting floor "fight" with our neighbors which resulted in a stolen shower caddy and some pretty ugly staredowns. Hilarious. We took some of my favorite pictures to date with an impromptu umbrella purchase at Ross. I had a lovely spring break at home visiting some friends at the high school and spending time with my sister.

may
May was a big month- Niklaas and I hit our one year anniversary (!!) and I got to fly home the weekend before finals to go to prom with him. He wrote that post and rereading his thoughts about his senior prom made me tear up! Hehe! This is why I love blogging. I also finished the semester with a 3.7gpa- all A's except for Chemistry! It was the greatest reward ever! It saved my scholarship and bumped me up a lot. Phew! I also had my first blog swap with Jasmine, the sweetest gal in the world, and wore her shirt as a dress! I'm so short.

june
My summer was a very relaxed one. I scored a job in a micrbiology lab only two floors above my dad so I got to see him every single day and drive to work with him. It was a blast. June was a beautiful month in Idaho. We got to take advantage of the yellow fields and frolick in the June sunshine when my best friend from school visited us. I also wrote about "my moments" and the response was overwhelmingly sweet. It was also my favorite boy's 18th birthday.

july
I feel like my summer passed in a large blur. Even though it was pretty low key, it seemed like there was a lot going on. As I've talked about a bit on the blog, my aunt's cancer took a plunge for the worst and most of my summer was filled with listening to my mom on the phone every single day for hours talking it through with her. It wasn't easy. However, I did get to celebrate my 19th birthday traveling with my family on the best family vacation we've ever had through Yellowstone! I also started reading kylee's blog which has inspired my own and she was kind enough to fill in for me on my summer vacation. One of my other favorite bloggers, Kenzie, also filled in for me and left my blog with her amazing style!

august
By the time August hit, I was tired of summer and ready to go back to school. I wasn't working a lot (20 hours per week) but it seemed like there was always something happening on the weekend between soccer tournaments to watch, babysitting gigs, weddings, weekend trips with the family, and catching up on chores that I was in a very "blah" state of mind. When I think about this year... I'm a little disappointed and I think it began around the end of the summer when I got in this self-loathing, closed off, uninspired state. Which is so unlike me. As you'll see in November... it wasn't a good thing at all. But! I did throw a birthday party that was "tea party" themed and it was awesome! It was definitely a highlight of the summer and a birthday dream come true. I was pulled over for the very first time in my life by a cop who caught me at the wrong time of the month and left me crying on the side of the road on the phone with my mom. I also wrote about self image and what being "beautiful" meant to me and the feedback I received was nothing short of astonishing. So many of you shared your own personal stories with me and I was floored by all of your emails. If you didn't catch this post, do yourself a favor and just read the comments. You reminded me why I blog in the first place.

september
School finally started in September and I moved into our fancy new dorm with my two best friends from the previous spring and a chemistry pal from class. We each have our own bedrooms and there are two bathrooms, a living room space, and a small kitchenette. It has to be the best living situation ever! Also, with school starting, that also meant that Niklaas and I both moved to Missoula. It was an exciting, exhilerating, amazing thing to end up at the same school and be together after being apart for a full year! I also decided in September that I was going to change my blog a bit and blog about life as it happened. I didn't get rid of "outfit" blogging completely, but when school got too busy and I didn't have outfits to post, I decided I was going to fill that gap with the ongoings of being a sophomore college student. It was awesome. Niklaas and I made a roadtrip to Seattle to see none other than TAYLOR SWIFT IN CONCERT and it was the best night of the entire year. Hands down. I loved every second of it and I couldn't help but feel giddy at standing next to the boy who asked me to prom by blasting You Belong With Me and fell for me when I gave him a Taylor Swift CD. Love. I also bought this cat shirt on Modcloth which is my favorite item in my closet.

october
The month of October... includes something I haven't talked about on the blog yet and the sole reason why I wasn't sure I even wanted to do a 2011 recap. This month isn't something I'm proud of. Niklaas and my relationship hasn't always been easy, but until this month, it was never ever something either of us had to second guess, either. We both wanted it. Even if it meant being long distance, we were willing to do what it took because there wasn't a doubt that we wanted to be together. Like I said, in August, something in me turned off over the summer. I still don't know why. I became a little less happy and a lot more introverted about personal details. The enthusiasm I had to go on adventures with Niklaas and make crazy plans wasn't there. I was hurting but I didn't know why or how or what to do with it and it wasn't related to him, it was me. We were so excited to finally be in the same place that we took being together overboard. We started behaving like a married couple that didn't live together. He was at my apartment way more than I wanted him to be there and instead of being a freshmen at college exploring his world and making new friends, he was hanging out with me all the time. However, we never hung out alone. We didn't go on a date off campus for over a month. It was always him, me, and my roommates sitting around in my apartment. It didn't work. I needed my space. He needed his. We needed to be 19 year olds. We almost broke up when it got to the breaking point one night early in October and I was devastated. We didn't take a break, per say, but we took time to hang out with our friends on the weekends but continued to talk things through and saw each other during the week for coffee and conversation. It worked. And I realized how much I'd let myself become closed off but dependent at the same time. I lost my voice to speak up and say when I didn't like something. I didn't address anything going on even though I saw it. I'm disappointed in both of us. In me for not talking. In him for dealing it the way he did. But. We got through it. We almost got a fresh start and I came out of it feeling rejuvenating. Things aren't absolutely perfect and we still have to work being in the long term almost 2 year long relationship we're in, but our relationship has grown through the rough spots and I'm so happy and blessed to be with someone who knows me so well and is at heart, my best friend.

In the spirit of spending time with my friends and getting out of my little box, I went "out" on Halloween and had a blast being the only sober people with my roommate among a room of college students at a rave. We had a blast taking pictures at our new favorite place in Montana, too.
november
In November, I realized for the first time in months that I was happy. And wrote about it. I also decided to do something about this surge of inspiration and I signed up for a study abroad program... to Indonesia. And wrote about it. I fell in love with Jillian Edwards' new album and thanked my favorite people in the world for being so unique and crazy and cool and inspiring.
december
The beginning of December was exactly what I needed. The crisp-ness of freshly fallen snow. I was really busy and wrapped up with school and spent so many days cooped up in the library studying biology and organic chemistry. I wanted to die.What saved me were the little dates with Niklaas. Getting through it was the greatest feeling ever after such a long, grueling semester. I flew to Boise right after my finals and spent a few days there. I came home and spent a few blissful days with Niklaas going to our favorite spots in town and spending time together before we separated for the Holidays (he's in Mexico... and I was in Wyoming). Since Christmas, I've lounged around the house and enjoyed finally being home.

what's next?
Especially after reading my previous posts from the year, I've realized my biggest New Years resolution is to just be myself. To be productive. To be happy. I've always believed that so much of happiness is a choice and I've always chosen to be so. Part of being me is to speak up and say what's on my mind. That's always who I've been and that's who I always need to be, especially in relationships. Here's to a wonderful 2012 <3

busy

2011-12-29T18:00:00.000-08:00

lately, i've been "busy".

i can't remember the last time i had a full day, like today, to sit at home in my own house and just do the things i like. it feels like since thanksgiving there hasn't been time for anything let alone spending hours on the computer, blogging, reading for pleasure, or cleaning. yeah, i definitely let my room go. another thing i haven't done in way too long? work out. i love the routine of working out. it lasted a solid two months this year at school and i was so proud of the four times a week i made myself go, always at 9am straight after biology. i can be the laziest girl in the world (i.e. this past week of six hours of television a day) but i never do feel that satisfied after days of doing nothing. i like being "busy". i like having routine.

however, the more i thought about what "busy" meant i realized just how much i'd let myself use it as an excuse to sidestep routine. if i had a huge organic chemistry test coming up, i'd skip working out at the gym to study for an extra hour... which ended up turning into an extra hour of sleep which meant i'd need to find that extra hour somewhere else in my day. when i spent a long day at the library, i ended up staying later than usual to squeeze in that extra hour i needed to catch up on my tv shows online which required an extra nap the next day and extra time needed for studying. time time time. i can't count the number of times on this blog i've said, "i can't wait for so and so to be over so i can have free time to blog again!"only for that to never come true because i lounged around wasting time doing other things.

i think we're always "busy". we always have things going on our lives. if i have one new years resolution, i think it's that i make my time count for more than i do. taking an hour to get dressed because i update my iPod at the same time or make myself breakfast in my tights because i can't decide what to wear is unproductive and wasteful.in the end, my bad habits caught up with me. i forgot to bring my research credit log to psychology and had to finish the final in fifteen minutes so i could run back to my dorm and finish them to turn in. i got way behind in textbook reading and went to my final more ill prepared for any test i've ever taken (i passed, however!). i'm always more diligent with my time with i focus on just one thing at a time, if i have a plan in my head for the day. to do lists are also a huge help. if you want to do something, you can always make time for it if it means enough to you that you'll make time for it.

here we come, 2012. productivity!

boise

2011-12-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

one of my favorite parts of growing up was watching the many, many new cousins that were born enter the world and be a part of their childhood from that point forward. ever since kai was born when i was 12, i've been able to watch five children from the time they were born grow up into little kids and big kids. it's been the most amazing experience to see so many youngsters grow into little humans and they continue to astonish me and make me feel old every day.

while i was in boise last week, i got to babysit this little boy and his older brother for the day. what a blast. in exchange, i got a nice lovely pair of danskas.

merry christmas!

2011-12-25T08:44:00.000-08:00

merry christmas!!

enjoy it while the holiday season is still here

i'm in wyoming without internet :-)

the little church

2011-12-22T08:30:00.000-08:00

sometimes

it's just really, really nice to explore your favorite parts

of your hometown with your best friend.

home

2011-12-20T15:22:00.000-08:00

finally, finally, finally home in idaho.

rolling hills, co-op, seeing my preschool teacher at the post office, small town charm, old friends (best friends), my own bed, nights with my sister and her best friend, watching hours and hours of whatever television show we're obsessed with, *hot* showers, christmas season, my parents, being able to drive again, my dog, taking walks, babysitting, an abundance of ponytails, living ten minutes from niklaas again, the breakfast club, morning coffee made by my mom, my own laundry do-er (thanks daddy), passing out on my sofa which is way too comfortable for its own good, niklaas' lovely view of home, unlocking the front door every single time i leave the house, eating muffins every morning, unpacking (ughhhh), seeing presents under the tree, reading, missing dorm internet, sleeping soundly every single night, hearing my mom on the phone, neighbors & the gomez family, taking blog pictures, going to our favorite little church on the hill, josh ritter, and finally, finally, finally being in the place where i feel the happiest.

she had a way about her that made you feel alive

2011-12-17T12:00:00.000-08:00

i feel like ever since my roommates all got instagram...

my life can be documented daily by the handy little app.

here are some instagrams my roommates have uploaded that you guys

have never seen!

as you can tell... we spend a lot of time at target, starbucks, and ihop.

fall finals 2011

2011-12-14T19:32:00.000-08:00

not knowing how to study for a final when i literally didn't learn a single thing all semester,

taking said final and never seeing more than 50% of the questions before,

spending all day studying flashcards,

taking a much needed break from studying with niklaas to starbucks (made me smile),

feeling prepared... and walking into the psychology final forgetting my outside 8 hours of research credit log worth half of our grade,

finishing the final in twenty minutes so I could run home and write a three page paper in ten minutes and turn it in by 9pm...

except that my professor was no longer there because she took a student to the ER due to a panic disorder

(ironic, no?),

hunting her down, calling her cell phone number, and being treated way too nicely for a college student who made the dumbest mistake a student can make,

*phew*

spending six hours studying biology (umm.... did i ever know this?),

staying up until 2:30am and waking up at 6:30am to study some more,

eat a breakfast bar and drink some water,

take worst biology test ever in my life,

multiple choice tests are not my favorite thing and i discovered that my mind tends to veer off to thoughts about kittens, clothes, shopping, christmas and christmas lights during 200 question exams,

leave final.

here's to being done with fall finals 2011!

my roommate hates pictures and wouldn't let me take a picture of our matching attire. diptic solved that.
my cousin and i. people think we're twins. seriously.

my roommate's "friend" waiting for her to get home. yeah. i laughed...so hard.

...and is there a better way to end finals week than with the best puppy in the world!?

almost done

2011-12-12T18:44:00.000-08:00

after maybe the hardest test i have ever taken in my entire life (organic chemistry final) and also the test that i've ever been the least prepared for in my entire life, i came home to a lovely note in my mailbox informing me that my wallet was found. not only was it found, but the sweetest man in the world was kind enough to pick it up where he found it on the street outside goodwill and track me down (no easy feat when the only identifier in my wallet was a driver's license). luckily, he figured to call the university, who called residence life, who found my dorm, and then connected him to our front desk. it took two days and it was a huge relief (the "my wallet is lost" excuse for not wanting to go anywhere was getting old and my friends are really nice people and bought me dinner twice). i thanked him obnoxiously on the phone but the funny thing is that i'll probably never know this man's name nor be able to return the favor. i'm incredibly thankful and perhaps a little bit of my faith in humanity is restored as well. we're taught not to trust strangers and we're taught that people don't always have the best intentions... but you know what? sometimes, sometimes they do.

p.s. just ONE day of finals left until i'm back in idaho! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

things that get me through

2011-12-09T22:51:00.000-08:00

not just finals week, but everything

-coffee of any kind from anywhere

-kitten videos on youtube

-wearing a dress

-watching some sort of taylor swift video

-ranting about anything and everything in my journal

-reading old blog posts

-watching a movie

-calling my dad, sister, mom, or grandma

-old episodes of the office

-spontaneous purchasing of dvd series on amazon for really cheap

-reading your blogs

-hugs. really, really good hugs. especially when they're given.

-remembering the fact that taylor swift loves me

-listening to a playlist i created specifically for that day

-photobooth

-looking at old pictures

-skype

-really funny people

here's to getting to wednesday at 10am!

finals

2011-12-08T07:20:00.000-08:00

... it's definitely that great time of the semester when finals have arrived...

and i'm already going a little bit crazy. or a lot.
one week from now, I'll be free of all finals and sleeping in until noon.
YAY!

little dates

2011-12-05T13:42:00.000-08:00

in the past couple months, niklaas and i have made an extra effort to get out of the apartment and off of campus and do things. little did we know how absolutely crucial making that extra effort is to

do the things that we used to do and made us fall for each other in the first place.

and, yeah, ihop is our most frequented location.

and, yes, it's definitely been lovely.

emails from my dad

2011-12-04T14:39:00.000-08:00

since coming to college, i've communicated with my sister and mom about every single day through texts, calls, and skype. however, my dad is not the technology savvy kind of dad. he is an email kind of dad. the kind that i email when i just want to talk to someone or hear him say something that will make me laugh or read three paragraphs of news updates around the family. and i love his emails to death. yesterday, i emailed him with one question, "is work better than school?" his response made me tear up, just a little bit. you know how they say your parents know what's best for you and are way smarter than you'll ever be? it's true. i'm a parent lover.

Magz-
Work better than school? Well I guess if you do work and school you could really find out.
College should be doeable for most, not a horror movie. These professors who co-teach, its kind of the new thing and yes we have some do that and one in particular is a horror movie from my point of view. Most of that is due to the person, or the personality and/or inexperience. Like you said your organic professor is bad. Hopefully they will get rid of him from teaching then.

The thing about all this school and work is to try to get all the learning you can. Obviously some classes are not in your interest. Then to hopefully find a area you like, or love. I knew I liked science in HS because of my HS chemistry teacher, also the Bio. teacher was ok. But the Chem. teacher also taught astronomy too and that was great. He was my biggest influence that I can recall. The Ag II teacher was great too. These people build that confidence that everyone needs. Not to try and destroy you.

I liked college all the way through, every bit pretty much. Some topics I didn't like. Plus I worked all these horrible jobs along the way. Which really made me want to learn more in some area. But overall science has to come from the interest, curiosity and love to help people. That's it. And the want to do experiments correctly and not lie.. If you make it up you are a joke and you don't last.

Later Gator

sunset meadow

2011-12-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

A long while ago, one of my best friend's from high school took these pictures of me for her to use in her photography portfolio for her photography class. As you can guess, Niklaas takes 99% of all pictures ever taken of me, so it was a pretty new experience shooting with one of my girlypals and working with a girl in general! It was a lot of fun and I loved having an excuse to dress up in my favorite find from the modcloth last hurrah sale a couple months ago! I'm going to have to get it out this winter with Niklaas and see how it looks in film, don't you think!? Omni did a beautiful job and I love how the lighting turned out for us! (It also makes me miss Idaho quite a bit)

Outfit:

Dress- Modcloth

Shoes- Urban Outfitters

Headband- Forever21

i love december

2011-12-01T10:26:00.000-08:00

hellooooo my favorite month of the year!!!

I always try to act like I'm a summer girl or even a fall girl... but it's just not true.

I live for December and Christmas and hot chocolate and bundling up in five sweaters and cozy socks and cuddling and watching movies and waking up at six in the morning on a saturday to go skiing and counting down the days to christmas and hearing the sounds of my mom baking cookies in the kitchen and going running at noon because it's finally cold enough outside to do so and making Christmas lists and buying presents for people I love and taking walks at night in the snow and wearing crazy hats and buying new pairs of gloves (i lose mine every single winter) and staying in bed an extra five minutes in my warm blankets because the air is so crisp and going to Boise to see family and orange skies and wearing boots every single day and eating way too much all month long and just loving the fact that it's winter and I get to be home with my family.

i'm happy today.

organic chemistry

2011-11-30T08:00:00.000-08:00

...in case you wanted a glimpse into my alter-ego pre-med life apart

from the blogging gal around here.

i just so happened to do about everything you could do wrong in this lab. spilled the 18 molar concentrated

sulfuric acid (corrosive; toxic; ouch), added the acid too quickly to the solvent so all of the reactant was

used up, forgot to tar the conical vial, and managed to burn myself on the hot plate a few times. i hate organic chemistry. although, as it is turning out, it happens to be my best "pre-med" subject currently and is going to save my little butt in a few weeks time. oh, pre-health sciences, how i loathe but will continue to study you until i graduate with the option of attending any sort of professional health school. i will more than likely change my major (biology), but i'm staying in the health sciences program. at the end of the day, i can actually see myself working in a retirement home with the oldies as some sort of doctor or with little kiddies as some other kind of doctor.

to my favorite people in the world...

2011-11-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

to mom and dad...for being the best parents in the entire world. to dad for coaching me and going to every single one of my soccer games and creeping on my soccer practices. you'll never know how much it meant to me that you've been my life long cheerleader. to mom for being the kind of mom i can trust to tell anything and everything to. it's gotten me through the past 6 weeks and i love that i'm growing up and our relationship is, too. thank you for having my back when i've come home from soccer games sobbing because of mean people. i'll never, ever forget what you did for me.

to ardina boll... for truly being the kind of person i wish i could be and being the best substitute me anyone in the world could ever be for soap. you're ridiculously cool and savvy and intelligent and the kind of teenager i wish every teenager could be. (but then you wouldn't be ridiculously unique and awesome, so no thanks).

to steve jobs...i love your little devices so much.

to the renner family... i always feel at home in your kitchen. and on your living room floor. and in your cars. i love having a second family i'm not related to.

to jillian edwards... "birthday" has touched me where nothing else has (that's what she said) and i couldn't love your voice and lyrics more.

to margaret behre...for being the best and most mature 19 20 year old I know. and the best person i know. and for always letting me send 10 page long texts in the middle of the night. and responding with 12 page texts. for being what a best friend should be. for making me cry as i write this. for being guiltlessly there for me no questions asked... all the time. together, i feel like we can conquer the world and you define the word badass. i love you.

to grandma...your phone calls keep me sane. i know for a fact i'm probably the only 19 year old in the world who would call her grandma in the car on the way to a party to say hello. i wouldn't know life without you.

to bloggers... more specifically: amber, jasmine, nicole, kylee, kate, sydney, erin, hope, eleanor, and kenzie. i'm so inspired by you guys and it goes beyond just your blogs. as people, you're all beautiful, beautiful people.

to sophie... there. is. no. one. else. that. will. ever. mean. more. to. me. than. you.
to my roommates... we're ridiculous and crazy and weird but we're all ourselves together and for that, i couldn't be more thankful that i found you and that we found each other. there truly aren't other people on campus quite like us and we're perfect together.

to niklaas... i believe in you more than i think you do yourself. you've made every day apart for a year worth it. i'll never know someone else like you and i'm so thankful to be a part of your life.

to myself... no one can be stronger in your life than yourself.

*most of these people will probably never read this.

Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T11:11:00.000-08:00

i'm thankful for:

-my sister, who will forever be my favorite human being

on the planet

-the two most amazing parents that i could have been blessed with

-going to an amazing college that i've fallen in love with

in 3 semesters

-cozy socks and flannel christmas pjs

-taylor swift's christmas album

-....and taylor swift

-having a best friend that i couldn't have lived without

for the past two years

-being just two weeks away from christmas break

-my glasses

-making it home a full two days earlier than last year

-blog friends like you

-being happy

jillian edwards

2011-11-17T11:51:00.000-08:00

I've listened to more music in the past month than I have in the past year. I like it. I like it a lot. My new iPod touch has definitely been worth the investment. You guys might remember me in previous posts saying that I'm a playlist whore. It's true. So true. I have playlists for everything. For a specific day. For a month. For a week. For a single moment. For a season. For a person. For a mood. It just happens that way. There are some songs, however, that are found in every single one of my playlists and especially lately, that song is "Nonfiction Love Song" by jillian edwards. I first found Jillian Edwards years ago during the old days of myspace. I took notice of her adorable profile picture immediately and fell in love within seconds of listening to her. My sister and I shared a love for her adorable songwriting and angelic voice for two years and we both tell everyone we know to listen to her. Well, our little lady Jillian just released a new album and much to my surprise and excitement, she not only was in the iTunes top 10 this week, but she is featured on their homepage and her album is #1 on the song-writers page. Eeeeep! I love seeing her doing so well. Do yourself a favor. Put on some fuzzy socks. Make yourself some tea. Download both of her albums and just enjoy.

18 hours later

2011-11-16T13:07:00.000-08:00

Holed up in the library for eighteen hours in two nights, I realized two things: a) our library is seriously lacking in the coffee cart/coffee/snack compartment (only ten hours later did I find out that our library is, in fact, building one)(...which won't be finished until 2014) b) I've made some pretty awesome friends in the past-two-and-a-bit-more-than-a-half semesters of college. As a freshmen, I walked into my first pre-med required chemistry course not entirely unsuspecting of the hours I'd spend in the library and tears I would shed in that first semester over one five credit class but completely unsuspecting of the friends I'd make and people I'd get to know. Seriously. If you ever want to make some friends, register for a pre-health required chemistry class and you'll make some blood brothers for life. It was in the library over the past couple of days that it really hit me how "special" my major is in this aspect. For those of us that are able to scrape by in our mind numbing courses, most of the people I met in that freshmen chemistry course will be the people that I take the same classes with for the entirety of the four years spent finishing my undergrad. And it seems like every day I meet someone new that is a friend of a friend that knows so and so who dated this person that I had in my workshop at this time second semester of freshmen year. We're all interconnected, but more than that, we're all studying for the exact same tests, writing the same lab reports, and barely passing together. If I make it through these four years, it will be because of the Tuesday nights I spent in a reserved room of the library with seven other people in my class.

I probably (definitely) didn't do great on my biology midterm today. But neither did the rest of us (cue some cliche high school musical song about being in all of this together).

iHop2iHop

2011-11-13T09:00:00.000-08:00

the very best way to start a four day weekend?

skip class and go to ihop

excuse me while i go and think that i want ihop to cater my wedding someday.

CD swap

2011-11-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

Several months ago, I came across a wonderfully adorable, quirky, hilarious, and downright perfect blog written by an equally wonderfully adorable, quirky, hilarious, and downright perfect girl. I started reading her blog and fell bit by bit more in love with this girl's witty posts about her life that included everything from family nights to date nights gone wrong to stalkers to sorority events to loving Utah. I decided to admit my frequent visits to her blog and emailed her and found her to be the sweetest girl ever. We had a CD swap last month and it was utter perfection. I am so thankful for the blogging world and the people I've been introduced to through blogging and I am taking today to thank all of you for letting me be a part of your story and for those of you who have been a part of mine. There are so many of you that I adore and have loved getting to know through emails, letters, and tweets. Go visit Kylee's blog. You will not be disappointed. This song is maybe one of the cutest I've ever listened to and I have Kylee to thank for it.

11/11

2011-11-11T11:11:00.000-08:00

HAPPY 11:11:11 on 11/11/11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what did you wish for?

if this was a movie

2011-11-10T11:19:00.000-08:00

I was sitting in the passenger seat of one vehicle called 'Arthur' a couple of weeks ago when I was hit with a (very obvious) thought: movies aren't real. Duh? Yeah. It should be a 'duh'. But I was sitting there, thinking about my best friend next to me who waited months for a boy to sweep her off her feet and thinking about myself and all of the crazy ups and downs that everyone inevitably experiences in life and realized that more often than not, things really don't just happen to you. How often does someone just "get" everything they want? I looked at her and I looked at myself and all I could see were two people that had been waiting. Waiting. Waiting for what they wanted to happen to just happen to them. Waiting for them to just "get better". I don't know what exactly it was, but I suddenly visualized what I wanted to happen as if it were a movie. And the more I thought about what I wanted to happen and what I expected to happen if I sat it out and waited, the more I realized just how ridiculous it was that I expected to wait for it to happen. Maybe the best thing I realized was that we have to make things happen for ourselves. The second I realized the moment I wanted was never going to happen the way I wanted it to happen was a really liberating one. We have to go out and get what we want. We have every ability to change things for ourselves but only if we make them happen for ourselves. Text that person first. Change your major. Study abroad. Write the letter you've been wanting to write. Reach out to a person first. Do something you've always wanted to happen. Your movie moment will never happen if you sit and wait for it to happen for it. Don't wait for a kiss, go get that damn kiss instead of waiting for the boy you love to come to his senses because that scene from the movies is never going to happen where he shows up outside your window throwing pebbles and apologizes. Do exactly what it is that you need to do to make yourself happy first. There's always something you can do and always a part of fate that is in your control. I firmly believe this...as of right now. And I'm happy.

Remi

2011-11-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

When one of your best friends buys her mom a puppy for her surprise birthday present...

what else is there to do but volunteer to babysit the adorable little pup?

Unofficially Official News

2011-11-05T14:49:00.000-07:00

Now that I am financially committed...I feel like it's time to share a bit of news with you that I've been working on for a few weeks. A few weeks ago, on a particularly not so good morning, I made myself stop feeling pathetic and got on my computer and googled "travel". That's all. The first picture that came up, remarkably, was a picture from Bali, Indonesia. I laughed. Shut my computer. And dragged myself to organic chemistry. Ironically, Bali is the one place I can say I've traveled internationally aside from my volunteer trip to Mexico to save sea turtles. In the middle of yet another pathetically horrendous waste of my time lecture, my friend nudged me and pointed to a page of the school newspaper advertising study abroad programs seeking interested students. At the bottom half...long and behold... was an ad for a study abroad summer program in none other than Bali. Seriously. I practically tore the newspaper out of her hands. I don't know if I necessarily believe in fate...but really? That was pretty close. After some deliberation and a run to the bank to collect a lot of twenty dollar bills in cash, I committed myself to the reservation list with said friend from organic chemistry. If it were a facebook relationship, we wouldn't be official, but it's pretty close to being an affirmative yes that I'm going provided I apply for some scholarships and work my tail off all of winter break to scrounge up the money. But as of right now, I'm signed up and I'm attending meetings and organizing myself to spend one month in Indonesia. And I'm willing to do anything it takes to get myself to Asia.

I'm going to Bali kids!

Hi, November

2011-11-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

1) year and a half anniversary

2) the infamous night with a nearly nude abercrombie model

3) cutest polka dot skirt ever from shop ruche

4) halloween rave night

5) one heck of a messy room

6) organic chemistry is quickly becoming a waste of time

7) popcorn & movies

8) roommate post-it note reminders

9) new eyeliner

10) fall is slowly fading

11) movie night with my sister

12) my parents came

Halloween Weekend

2011-10-30T14:52:00.000-07:00

alright, guys.

in the spirit of "new" and "change",

i went out twice this weekend.

here we go.

-meeting Thor, an abercrombie model with a 2011 Camaro who proceeded to take off his clothes halfway through the night. he told me i was cute. and then he made out with a girl who wasn't his girlfriend.

-taking our very, very happy friend home with us after her house party got to be a little too much

-moving our mattresses in the living room

-minne mouse in two costumes

-watching my roommate "plug" herself into a different outlet throughout the night everytime

we switched locations. she went as a christmas tree.

-meeting an adorable 22/23 year old couple who are engaged to be married.

-texting my sister who had an amazing seattle weekend.

-spending all day in bed watching friends.

-destroying my bedroom. completely.

-getting my makeup done by my friend's roommate. never gone dark before. i looked gooooood, friends.

-being approached by a hobo. with a black eye. who asked to join us in our festivities. um, no.

-getting lost trying to find the warehouse rave.

-oh yeah. rave anyone?

-walking around downtown lost. one man telling me my glittery boobs were "niiiiiiiiice". ew.

-seeing my ochem cutie downtown. whilst lost. freaking out.

-finally locating the rave. a warehouse. crazy. getting in. showing my id. my first event ever requiring an id

-losing our friends within four minutes of entering the building.

-getting my bottom squeezed on infinite number of occasions. seriously.

-taking pictures with random people. many times.

-watching a very, very happy group of friends be very, very happy on the dance floor.

-dancing. like carazzzyyyy for three solid hours.

-watching my roommate be asked to dance. and then dance. so awkwardly. cute.

-a really, really attractive man engaging in a witty banter about the historical accuracy of his Shakespearean costume. i almost thought about saying yes when he wanted to grind.

-being ground on by a very, very happy friend. female.

-screaming every single time a mascot came near me. masked figures are not cool.
-proving you don't have to be on anything or drank anything for people to think you are.
-realizing that real people read my blog. and are finding it every day. and it's like whatevs now.

-and lastly, a secret for just us to know.

October

2011-10-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

my favorite months of the year are

may, october, and december.

as october comes to a close, i'll be honest when i say that

i will be glad to see it go.

we all need a fresh start sometimes, you know?

a new month, a new day, a new morning,

a new way of living, a new mentality,

a new routine, a new outlook,

a new everything.

things

both big and little

happen for a reason

for good and bad and most of all,

for the better.

this month has been good
but it's been challenging
and i'm trying to believe that what's challenging
makes getting through it more rewarding.

Midterms

2011-10-21T09:49:00.000-07:00

The past couple of weeks have been long. Two nights ago, my roommates and I were all on the floor near tears and we each had to call our momma's for a pep talk. School. I've had some sort of midterm every week for the past four weeks and they're taking over my life. Seriously, if they were "mid-terms" shouldn't they happen in the middle of the term? Not...four times a term!? I have also needed a break from the blog. Needed. Desperately. I'm working and going through some stuff right now that deserves my full attention.

(the library has turned into my best friend)

Thank you blog friends for being wonderful.

Fall Trek

2011-10-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

fall has arrived in montana, folks.

Sparkles and Railroads

2011-10-11T12:18:00.000-07:00

The best part of having roommates is sharing clothes. Definitely. If you can find a roommate that has good taste in clothing, you're golden. A couple weeks ago, I walked out of my closet bored and stumped and into my friend Maggie's (remember? the girl I thought was too cute to ever be friends with me?) to find an amazing sparkly gray cardigan. It's funny how just one cardigan can make you see your closet in a whole new way. I was throwing it with a white lace dress and leather detailed belt before I knew what I was doing. For the win!

If you've been following my twitter, you might have seen a glimpse of my weekend trip home! I went home to Ideeho, and boy oh boy, was it lovely to just sit around with my sister and do things like introduce her to cake pops from starbucks and continue to be surprised by the crazy things my dad does (per example: walk into the living room to see him in my mom's running shorts)(one might call them short shorts) and give my mom the hug I've been missing/needing. I'm sure that this week, you'll see a couple of my pictures from the trip home!

Anyways, school is definitely happening in full speed these days. Tests every week, lab reports, papers, reading, quizzes... it doesn't seem to ever end! I keep telling people about replying to letters or going to movies, "Oh, maybe next week when things die down!"...but I'm quickly realizing I'm fooling myself- until 3PM on December 15th, things are never going to "die down" and I'm stuck running around and studying during my every opportunity from now on. As a result...sleep is on the decline if I'm going to try to achieve everything I want. Yikes! I can't even imagine having a job right now..

Well, I hope you all have a glorious Tuesday and rest of the week! I hope I'll be back shortly but with a psych midterm and lab reports due plus a Miranda Lambert concert (EEEE! You heard me right!) blogging might have to go on the back burner for a few days- but we'll see!

Outfit:

Dress- Forever21

Cardigan- Urban Outfitters c/o my roommate

Belt- Anthropology c/o my roommate

Bow- Forever21

Shoes- Thrifted

Evan

2011-10-09T10:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Evan,
I waited for you for a grueling eleven and a half months to finally have you delivered into my arms. And yet, not a day went by that I didn't think about you nor fall more and more in love with you while you waited for me on shelves of Target and Walmart waiting for that moment. Now that you're here, I know that we are two peas in a pod and every night cuddling with you makes my whole night better. You make the perfect pillow and the best pet a girl could ask for.
Love always,
Maggie

Photography Adventure

2011-10-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

sometimes all you really need is to find the highest point you can get to

and look over your little big college town with your friends.

Family

2011-10-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

The homesickness of being away at college is definitely setting in. The excitement of a new school year, new school supplies, a new dorm, new roommates, and having that extra little oomph of freedom on my own is waning. I'm really missing home and being surrounded by family and I can't help but wish for those precious nights of eating dinner on the sofa with my family even if it meant watching a football game I was disinterested in. I miss seeing the smiles instead of hearing them. Sometimes I look at the present and wonder how I really got to be here when it feels like I should be 16 and sneaking into Mom's bed to read the paper with her in the morning. I remember specifically during my senior year of high school thinking about what it would feel like when I didn't live at home and what it would feel like to miss everything at home. If I could tell my 17 year old self something, I would tell her to skip the Friday night outing with friends and spend it watching another movie with the family. I can't wait for this weekend in which I will spend every single second for 48 hours by my sister's side.

i love these guys.

According to Instagram

2011-09-30T18:49:00.000-07:00

my first ever 'my life according to instagram'

courtesy of instagram

1) Niklaas being hipster with his new camera and my floral hat.
2) My adorable roommate Molly looking adorable in my dress.
3) Paninis for dinner! Also prepared by Niklaas.
4) Two dollar DVDs at Hastings.
5) LAST HURRAH MODCLOTH SALE BOX ARRIVED!
6) Free Big Dipper ice cream on the oval with my roommate.
7) Wonderstruck by Taylor Swift.
8) Favorite sweep from Modcloth this week. 20 bucks!
9) Studying for our first calculus midterm.

Feline Fine

2011-09-28T08:52:00.000-07:00

If you asked me to pick just one outfit to wear for the rest of my life... hands down, this would be it. A cat-faced tee, swirly cotton skirt, bow, easy to walk in wedges, and a side braid. I can't tell you how happy having a cat on my chest made me the entire day that I wore it. So, I might have first discovered this shirt when I saw a picture of Taylor Swift on tumblr wearing it...and I might have found it on Modcloth two days later...and I might have snatched it up when I fell in love. But regardless of the fact that Taylor owns this top and shops at Modcloth (eee!), I'm so delightfully in love with this top and I can't begin to describe the looks and comments I got (my favorite: dreadlocked stoner in the cafeteria looking at me up and down and saying, "Dude, I like cats").

Being a sophomore in college, I've been thinking a lot about majors, minors, graduate school, medical school, journalism school, and just the future in general. It's really hard to wrestle with the idea that my choices now could dictate whether or not I get into what kind of school I decide to go to, even though I'm not sure right now if that's what I want. There's only one thing I know and that's that I want to feel what Taylor Swift does when she's singing in front of a crowd of 20,000 people in whatever I'm doing. I've been to two of her concerts and there is no doubt when you're a fan in the crowd watching her perform that performing is exactly what she's meant to do with her life. I wish I had the fearless drive to just pick that thing lingering in the back of my mind to "go for it" without doubts like she sings about, but practicality always worms itself into my brain. I know I'm just 19, but being pre-med is a big commitment even as a sophomore and if I'm going to go to Medical school...you have to plan ahead. Big time. Even when I'm sure that it's "the one". If nothing else, I admire Taylor for never doubting what she wanted and going the whole way. It's so much harder said than done!

I hope you are all enjoying my more life related posts these days. I just got instagram (maggeygrace!) so I've been instagraming like a fool in love. It's addictive! My new iTouch might be the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm planning on several instagram posts in the future. I think it's probably on its way to being the new twitter or facebook. I love it!

I have three outfit posts backed up on my harddrive currently. Pictures, pictures! I have to say, I'm excited to be posting outfits again. This blog is a lot of things to me, but I'm realizing taking pictures of what I'm wearing is a more important part of it for me than I realized as I've taken a step back from outfit posting these days. Being pushed to look at my clothes in a whole new way every day and feeling that adrenaline when I am wearing something that makes me feel like I'm screaming to the world who I am in that moment is pretty liberating. I recently texted my sister and said, "I think there's a difference between wearing clothes to look "cute" and wearing clothes because you just like them." I was talking about someone in particular and my sister probably rolled her eyes, but I really think there's a genuine difference between wanting to dress a certain way for other people and wanting to dress for yourself. It's probably ironic considering I'm the one with a "fashion" blog, but I've only ever worn clothes because I see them almost as wearable pieces of art that make me feel more like myself in them. What do you think?

(I'd kill for her legs! She's so beautiful)

Outfit Details:

shirt- Modcloth

skirt- Urban Outfitters

shoes- Urban Outfitters

bow- Urban Outfitters

Idaho

2011-09-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

In my last (and first) week of summer one month ago, I spent my last week at home doing all the things I didn't do for the first 11 weeks of summer. One of these things was biking as frequently as I could. I used to spend my summers biking on our bike trails that meander through the golden hills. There's nothing quite like biking through the rolling hills listening to Josh Ritter on a bike.

Oh, Idaho, how I miss you.

Niklaas' Film!

2011-09-24T09:23:00.000-07:00

Niklaas has been taking some really awesome pictures for his photography class.

All of these pictures are film.

He's been learning to develop film and having a blast with it.

Here are some of his favorites from his first roll!

One of these days, we're going to take all outfit pictures with his black and white film.

One of these days.

A Thong Story

2011-09-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

8:45am. Sara Barielles cooing softly into my ear, which 43 seconds later turns into a screeching triumphant tumble out of bed. Remove my Gap polka dot melon shorts. Drop the drawers. Reach into my plastic drawers purchased for $7.99 at Target to find just one clean pair of skivvies left as a result or prolonged procrastination to do my laundry which turns out to be the last of my newly purchased bundle o' undies from Aerie. Eyes closed, pull them up, and reach for the nearest pair of athletic bottoms. Find yoga pants (yes!), throw on sweatshirt, lazily shove my feet into my adidas running shoes, run my fingers through my hair, wipe off mascara with make-up remover (who actually removes their mascara before bed?) (okay...everyone) and run (walk) out the door (like I care about getting to Cell&Molecular Biology on time).

(source)

Once the bitter 33 degree air hits my face, I'm almost instantly awake. Is it possible to get some mechanical device that blows 33 degree air into my face at 8:45 in the morning? I'm walking. Walking, walking, walking... hold on! Something feels weird. Oh, pesky wedgie. Look around me and find only one person in sight. Pretend to twist my arm behind me to feel for something in the side pocket of my backpack to untwist said wedgie. But...the dang sucker won't let go of my chops. Less obviously pull and tug. And then it hits me...

I'm wearing a THONG (sorry for you TMI cringers). A thong. A foreign entity to me and to my bum. And not only is it creeping up there, but with every step, it's letting everything go every which way it wants and I can't help but turn around to check if anyone can notice that there is only a single layer covering my rump. I hit myself for not taking the extra seven point four seconds to check my American Eagle shopping bag online to check that I checked every box I meant to check.

Class ends fifty five minutes later (in which I wish that for once, I'd slept through Sara darling's voice) and I continue to tug-a-lug all the way to the gym. Spot Niklaas near the Liberal Arts building. Half run, half skip up to him and the first thing I say is, "I'm wearing a THONG!" and ignore the fact that the population density at ten in the morning on campus is greater than any square mile in Japan. His eyebrows raise and of course, no male could ever understand what this exactly entails (a perpetual pain in the rear flossing job). His empathy is lost on me and I continue my way to the gym.

Once at the gym, I realize what this means. Working out. In tight yoga pants that aren't forgiving in their slightest and especially unforgiving on the elliptical. Couldn't help but notice the men's fitness class all using the weights directly behind my elliptical. Try to pretend I'm not aware of them and turn up the volume on my iPod to drown out their huff and puffs all elliptical ride long.

Come home. Promptly throw uncomfortable morning ruining thong in trash. I mean no offense to those who love the things. In fact, I applaud you. A whole lot. But, clearly, they will never be for me. Underwear lines? Not a care in the world about them.

Not Even Once!

2011-09-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

my weekend was spent...

rapping to lil wayne and kid cudi and lady antebellum

befriending my cousins' floormates that are in the marching band

....three target runs...

rescuing a roommate from hypothermia

eating coldstone at 15% off student night

...dancing...with limbs out the car window

realizing my child sized hands are in fact really child sized

going to Lion King in 3D with 13 other college kiddos

footballing it up like a baller (oops, is that basketball?)

trapped inside a laundry basket

First Griz Game!

2011-09-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

First Griz game of the season.
(Which would normally be my only game of the season...
but somehow I found myself enjoying it? I guess
having real friends attend them with you makes a difference?)

University of Montana vs. Eastern Washington University.

Supposedly the national 'champs' last year, we beat them 16-13.

Yeah, yeah!

I think this is my favorite picture of us to date.

40s/vintage/college-y cliche couple picture much?

(I might have been taking advantage of my roommates'
iPhone and using her instagram. la-la-la!)

On the Tracks

2011-09-14T07:00:00.000-07:00

Boy oh boy, does it feel like forever since I've done an outfit post! I have to tell you guys something, though... it's been really nice to just blog about whatever is on my mind instead of going through the tedious routine of putting on something I want to blog, finding the time to take pictures, edit them, finding the time to write a post and upload pictures, and then finally hit post. That being said, I think you can expect more outfit ones now that I've settled into a routine with school and without the pressure of getting them published at an exact minute on a precise day, it feels so much less like work and more like fun. Which is why we're here anyways, right!?!

School so far has been really, really great. It hasn't been easy between juggling school and adjusting to a new kind of relationship Niklaas and I aren't exactly used to (being in the same place, what!?) but I already feel so much better about this year than last. I've transitioned to a better studier this year and more of a "routine" girl than I ever wanted to be last year. My goal for this semester is to fit in gym time - at the end of last year, I was finally getting down a schedule and it just made life so much happier! I felt like I nailed school last semester so I'm focusing on that and getting some healthy endorphins in my system this semester!

The other day, Niklaas and I were driving around our quaint little big city of Missoula trying to find a place to take pictures. We found these train tracks that are not only super close to campus, but basically deserted. They're awesome. We have so far taken two sets of pictures here, so I think you'll be seeing them a lot. I got this lovely little dress at the Forever21 in Nevada. I couldn't believe how big it was- I'm used to a small inventory store 80 miles north of my hometown in Idaho, so being in a huge store was insane. I swore of Forever21, but finding this polka dot dress was too good to be true. I love the sleeves and the polka dots and the tie bow in the front and how it's elastic. It's so perfect!! I've worn it probably four or five times since I've bought it and for me, that is a lot of wears.

I loveee how these pictures turned out- Niklaas is taking his first ever photography class right now and he's in love with it. By the end of the semester, he will be able to develop his own film which is so cool! I can't wait for the many adventures we will have in Missoula over the course of this year- and to blog about all of them! Last year was amazing with my friends here, but I so missed escaping with Niklaas when we were apart for our little adventures!

Taylor Swift LOVES us

2011-09-10T14:45:00.000-07:00

....I think my entire life is made....

"...to the LOVE sign over there that I LOVE"

at 56 seconds?

that's us.

she knows we love her,

and we know she loves us.

i think taylor swift is the greatest human being in the world.

the end.

Taylor Swift

2011-09-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

I'm seeing this lady tonight.

Two years ago, I was the single happiest girl on the entire planet when I got chosen to meet my inspiration and role model. I got to hug her and tell her that I loved her. And she thanked me and told me she loved me right back. It's hard to be one of the few 16 year olds in your school who didn't want to spend her friday nights getting drunk and it's always hard to be excluded from the best friends you've had for your whole life; it happens to everyone and it always sucks. Truthfully, I would still be here today if I hadn't found her music, but if not for her, I might have felt a little less okay about believing in the things I did and I might have felt more alone for those months when the only person I could call my friend was my little sister. A lot of people ask me why I'm so obsessed, why my walls are covered in her pictures and why I was mentioned in front of 10,000 people twice at graduation for my "passion" for the country singer by the class speakers coincidentally. It all boils down to the fact that Taylor is just like any one of us and she manifested her own dream solitarily by believing in herself and never, never giving up on that dream. How many people can honestly say that their diary has made them millionaires and there isn't a single thing on the planet they wouldn't rather be doing, and they got that for themselves?

She makes me fearless.
(and yes, there WILL be an entire blog post devoted to tonight soon)

Shark Night: 3D

2011-09-05T18:27:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard of the hugely popular, wonderfully realistic, perfectly exhilarating wonderful movie was just released in theaters also known as Shark Night: 3D. No, not just "Shark Night". But Shark Night...in the third dimension. It takes Shark Week to a whole new level of entertaining. It might have been the biggest waste of third dimensional technology, but it also might have been the greatest unintentional parody of American horror movies to date. I mean, leaping Great Whites eating people out of trees and snatching them mid-air on a jet-ski? What? Class A, kiddos! If you have a lovely boyfriend/girlfriend/grandmother that pays the entire $12 for a ticket, there really isn't a reason for you to pass this movie up just so you can laugh at the gut wrenchingly laughable acting and look like a hipster in your 3D glasses made to enhance the supposedly 'real footage' of these babies. It was the perfect start to the first weekend of college with the crew.

That being said, I think I ought to go watch a French Horror film now...

Resolutions

2011-09-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

So I have to tell you guys something. I made myself a new blogging/school resolution. It seems that when I don't have pictures to share... I don't blog. I started this blog to document my life for myself, which turned into documenting what I was wearing, which turned into all of you amazing followers and a lot of amazing feedback I never imagined. I didn't go into blogging for the comments/followers. I went into it so I could look back months later and remember exactly where I was in life when I blogged a post. Last year, being so busy with school meant days and sometimes *weeks* without blogging because I didn't have pictures to post. But that meant so many undocumented random runs to Albertson's at 1AM to buy tampons with Kaleb, hikes on Saturdays, trips to the hot springs, downtown exploring, nights and days trapped inside due to -25 degree weather, and the random spontaneous adventures everywhere from mountains to the 11th floor study lounge. If I regret anything about last year beyond a not so brilliant gpa in the first semester, it's not writing and taking pictures and posting them to look back on. I've always wanted this blog to continue to be something beyond just what I happen to be wearing on a given day, so my goal for the year is to do just that.

This year, whether or not I have "outfit photos", I will post and I will talk and it might mean a lot less of outfit blogging, but it will mean a lot more documenting and a lot more me. I'm not saying I'm never going to post what I'm wearing, but during those tough weeks, it might not be regular. It might be those random train of thoughts I have past midnight in the library. This is my forewarning :)

We Owned The Night

2011-08-31T10:11:00.000-07:00

When you've been in class all day listening to professors ramble about syllabus' and broken two cell phones and lost your keys, the perfect solution is to take a hike with your roommates and the boys at 10PM up the infamous M trail.

Of course, then you end up with one roommate falling off a trail and run-ins with your cousin and many drunkards that somehow manage to careen around rocks and rubble and stairs. Okay, I'm kidding about the cousin part. That isn't so bad. That's pretty awesome.

Sophomore Year

2011-08-28T14:09:00.000-07:00

It's only one year later, but nothing, this time, could be more different. Sure, it's still the same school and it's still the same city. Rather than preparing weeks in advance and packing my clothes excitedly and carefully, this year it all happened in two nights nervously and carelessly. Rather than waking up disheveled and somewhat nostalgic for the days I already missed, I woke up with a hop and a skip in my step excited to launch myself out the door.

I vividly remember the dreary and lifeless clouds last year on the exact date that matched my spirit. Leaving last year wasn't easy. Leaving home for the first time wasn't easy. The excitement was there, but it was buried under a year's worth of memories with my first real boyfriend and, quite possibly, my first real friends. And leaving my sister was the most gut wrenching pain I'd ever felt. It was cold as we entered Missoula for the first time and my nerves were abundant. It's pretty bad when I have to ask my sister how to make friends since I had concluded within two seconds of meeting my roommate that she hated me. I arrived completely alone not knowing a single name on campus. I was on my own to figure it all out.

This year, that was the only thing I thought about during the four hour drive. It wasn't cloudy nor dreary outside. It was bright and full of life. And, more importantly, I was excited. I was overjoyed to get back to my school where some of the best friends I've ever had would be living with me and to a fresh semester after bouncing back from a pretty dismal gpa. I woke at 4:45am and nearly threw everything on the porch steps for my father to pack into the car. I pounced into my sister's bed eight times begging her to please just wake up and shower so we could get on the road.

I'm coming back to school this year the very opposite of alone. Somehow, I was able to convince my cousin to choose the University of Montana (it's not so difficult to convince someone that this is a magical place) for his college education. I have family here now. And, the day arrived that I've been waiting sixteen months for when I could open my dorm room and see Niklaas standing there with waffles from the cafeteria because I missed breakfast and he's still my boyfriend after a year of being long distance. My roommates aren't strangers and I don't have to wonder what my classes will be like. They're going to be horrible and probably make me want to throw my body into a vat of hydrochloric acid (hey, maybe I learned something last year?). But at least I know. I have my very own bedroom and I'm not sharing my bathroom with four other girls.

I'm sharing my bathroom with my roommate from last year. Who I was convinced on the first day despised me.

Nothing could be more different, but I thank the lucky stars, the God in heaven, and the fateful day two years ago when I decided Missoula was going to be my future place of residence that everything last year happened so I could have everything that I have this year and it could feel that much better.

Goings On

2011-08-25T09:09:00.000-07:00

It seems like we've all been a little bit absent in the blog world (or maybe I'm telling myself that to make myself feel less guilty). Lately, I've been living by the quote said by my favorite gal, "If it's something you'll regret not doing when you're 80, do it now." Things like going to breakfast with your dad at 8am when you want to sleep in or doing an errand for your mom like buying chocolate chips. It's true, I do like everything Taylor Swift affiliated and I'm a little bit biased, but that quote in particular has really hit home as I prepare to move out (again) and spend my last week at home doing those things.

This week of unemployment has consisted of:

-double haircut appointments with my dad

- buying oil for the car with my dad

- sleeping on the couch every night

(maybe just so my mom does wake me up before she

leaves for work and peck me on the forehead)

-watching countless friends' episodes with my sister

- eating out 4 billion times a day

- driving to soccer games in cda

-spending almost no time with Niklaas and a lot

with people I won't see for 4 months

- waking up at 5:30 to run on the mountain with my mom

(actually, this has yet to happen, but it will happen tomorrow)

- buying school supplies

- making breakfast every morning instead of the usual cereal bowls

(my sister and I are big, big breakfast fans)

- trail bike rides alone listening to josh ritter

- packing. and more packing. and more packing.

- three visits to the post office (+1 after today is done)

-buying my sister headphones

(this took a little bit of convincing)

It's true. Once you do the thing you're not inclined to do in the moment (note waking up at 5:30 for a run), you feel better afterwards knowing it made someone else happy. Some of them are more or less selfless than others (watching friends). But I can say with certainty this week, I won't regret those little things I'd rather not do but are sort of a last chance to do them. I can't really say what I'll be doing next summer and the chance to live with my family for four months might not present itself for a while. So long summer of 2011, I really liked you.

Let Us Love

2011-08-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

At some point this weekend, I realized three things. The first being that after four weeks straight of waking up to an alarm, it doesn't matter if you set your alarm on the one day you get an unlimited pass to sleep in. You'll wake up anyways at 6am on a Saturday. Second, I have one more week home before I go back to school for 8 months. I'm trying to stay calm about this. And third and maybe most importantly, I remembered why I started blogging. Reading your comments this weekend, I can honestly say that I was tearing up reading your stories. I mean, wow! I was floored. I feel like lately I've been a little frustrated with superficial comments ("Hey! Come read my blog *insert link*) and superficial posts...but after reading your comments I realized the tremendous amount of love and passion there truly IS in blogging. It's there. It's in all of you. And I'm honored that you all shared your stories and I just want you to know that you all make this world a better place. Call me crazy, but I feel like more than ever, you guys have my back. Thank you thank you thank you.

Anyways, on a lighter note, my sister did something incredibly cool today. I don't know when she surpassed me (uh, the day she was born), but she is really, really cool. Not in the fake pretend gawky kind of way, but in the self confident does her own thing and all together just really cool kind of way. She spent 14 hours straight today watching movies. And not just any type of movies, but good movies that not many people watch anymore. Classics. And just because she wanted to with her also really cool best friend. I wish I had been like them in high school and ignored everyone else and just did my own thing exactly how I wanted to. They have it all figured out. I popped in every now and then and got to watch some of The Pianist, which floored me. Case in point: when I was in 9th grade and that film was shown in my english class, I definitely didn't pay attention. Thanks to my sister, I now know what an amazing film I missed out on.

Niklaas and I took these pictures just before we left on a mini road trip to pick up my mom at the airport. It seems like we've become designated chauffeurs lately when it comes to people needing rides from the airport, ha! I got these glasses for my birthday and I love them with all my heart (ha ha get it!?). My family makes fun of me for them, but they are functional. Truly. I knew immediately when I got them that I'd pair them with the dress I still haven't worn from the Modcloth Cabin Fever sale months ago. They're a match made in heaven, if you ask me.

I'll be back to post this week, but it's going to get hectic packing and squeezing in time with my family and home before I go! Again, thank you for showing me that something I say can matter and giving back more than I could have ever asked for.

Wouldn't Want to be Anyone Else

2011-08-18T15:14:00.000-07:00

For most of my middle school life, I hated being short. I hated the nicknames, I hated the jokes, and I just wanted to be 'tall'. I hated never finding a single pair of jeans in a store because either the waist was too small or the inseam was eight inches too long. I looked at my mom as she left for her morning runs every day with a smile on her face wondering how she could be happy when she had the short stubby legs that I had inherited. For as long as I could remember, I had stood at countless finish lines waiting for my mom to finish marathons and triathlons by the dozen. The look on her face when she finished a race was one of pride that I had never felt nor deserved to feel.

Fast forward two years, I nervously awaited my first soccer conditioning practice as a ninth grader trying out for the high school team. It happened to fall on my fifteenth birthday and all of my classmates sat quietly waiting for instructions in the already 85 degree heat at ten in the morning. We were told to complete a 'warm up' mile including difficult plyometric exercises that left us all nearly dead by the end. And this was just the warm up. After twenty seconds for water, we were then told that we were going to be running three and a half miles in the rest of the thirty minutes of practice. I gulped. I couldn't remember ever having to be timed in a mile once in my life. We started our run, the faster girls on my team with long, lean lovely legs in the front. I felt tired and wanted to lay down on the track and die, but I kept running, even as they lapped me.

On exactly the ninth lap, I noticed that only half of the freshmen remained. A few were puking. As the laps continued on, they slowly continued to drop out. On the eleventh lap, only the fastest girl on the team and I remained. She was gasping more her breath and kept looking from the track to me back and forth while she ran. With just 300 yards to go, she started jogging slower...and slower, until she stopped completely. I was the only one running and a few painful seconds later, I finished. It wasn't in thirty minutes, but I got to walk back to the group and see my classmates laying on the track as the only one to finish. I guess if there was any moment when I realized what a gift it was to have the short stubby legs my mother had given me, it was then. And for the rest of high school, I can honestly say I didn't care about how I compared to other girls regarding how I looked. I was proud. I could run longer than the girls with stick legs and that was all that mattered to me.

Self image is something I've never talked about my blog...but I don't think it can be talked about enough. I hate that the model figure is someone in magazines as if there is only one kind of body type in the world. I hate that girls think they are ugly because I honestly think everyone I meet is beautiful. However, going to college, I lost what made me feel like me and it took months for me to figure out that it was being able to run forever. Not actually running, but being able to. I always loved how strong I was and able. It made me feel weak and I guess I lost that confidence I had all through high school that kept me who I was. Well, last week, I started running again... and I have ran twice this week. I can't describe how it feels to feel like I'm gaining myself back. Looking good truly is all about feeling good. Beauty to me is strength. Self confidence is about figuring out what makes you special and different.

Outfit:

Top- Urban Outfitters

Shorts- Charlotte Russe

Boater Hat- Urban Outfitters

Shoes- Urban Outfitters

Back to School: How to Pack!

2011-08-16T07:00:00.000-07:00

I remember exactly one year ago looking at my closet blankly wondering... What on earth am I going to take to college?! Or, even more perplexing, what wasn't I going to take to college? I scoured my favorite fashion blogs but unfortunately, I never really found out whether I should take four winter jackets or whether I should really take half of my 55+ dress collection. I recieved an email from a reader last week asking for advice and after navigating the waters of building a practical college wardrobe for one year, I decided if I could help just one person with their packing, devoting a blog post just for packing up your clothes for college would be well worth it!

A College Fashionista's Guide to Packing For College:

1) Purge!!!!!

I realized shortly into unpacking that I brought way too many clothes. If you haven't worn something in not even six months, but three months, absolutely don't bring it. Even if it's the best top in the world and so cute but something you only wear once a month, you will learn that having a closet of basic v-necks is a whole lot more suitable. Seriously. Don't. Bring. It. It's one thing to have a single dressy shirt that you pull out for interviews/dates, but a closet full of these 'couple time wears' won't get you far!

2) Be Practical.

Practicality was probably my biggest problem. I brought way too many of those tops that I only wore with one pair of jeans or one skirt and I ended up with a not so versatile closet that left me more than frustrated in the morning. And if you were wondering... I did bring half of my 55+ dress collection. This isn't just about making "cute" outfits. This is about the fact that when you are walking to your next class across campus and you're wearing your twenty pound backpack and realize after many a snicker that your dress has crawled its way up your back revealing your underwear to the entire world, you realize dresses aren't made for college. They're made for the easy days when you don't need to lug four textbooks around, but on the library days, you don't need them. And you'll just end up looking foolish. Bring ten at most. Ten of your favorites for those nice days. Same for skirts!

3) Outdoor Apparel.

Jackets! Jackets are crucial not only for your outdoor comfort and safety, but because they take up a lot of room in your closet. I'm talking... a quarter if not more of your teensy dorm closet. Not all of you live in a four season location, but as far as fall/winter, you absolutely need a jacket that can do everything. I swear, once November hit, almost everyone knew everyone by the color/style of their jacket. You need to have a jacket that isn't only warm and will protect you against snow and rain, but it must be comfortable, too. It is possible to find a jacket that is cute, warm, water resistant, and comfortable. Because you'll be wearing it more than you think. If you find the right jacket, you won't need a separate one for football games, a separate one for rain, a separate wind jacket, a separate snow jacket, nor a separate cute "date" one. You can get all of that in one (or two!) perfect jacket.

4) Build a Wardrobe!

This year, I really had to learn about what made a wardrobe. As previously stated, I brought a lot of dresses and a lot of skirts. I only brought a pair of jeans I kind of liked. I brought about fifteen cardigans and ten tops. Building a wardrobe of "pieces" rather than stand alone items are so important! When you shop for school clothes, make a list of items you have a lot of (i.e. dresses) and another list of items you don't have a lot of (i.e. jeans). And if possible, be as specific as you can. Think also about colors that you could incorporate into your closet that would be versatile. Also, this year I decided I was going to bring as many 'solid' dresses as I could because I found that they are easier to style with different pieces than patterned ones that can only match a couple sweaters. This all parallels my 'be practical' portion of this post but I really can't reiterate how investing in quality clothing instead of quantity of clothing takes you soooo very far in college. I went through three pairs of boots before I finally decided to invest in a pair- and they lasted through -25 degree days for the rest of the winter/spring!

5) Packing/organization!

For a lot of people, stuffing your clothes into many suitcases when moving to college is easiest. However, I decided somewhat on a whim to pack mine into boxes. And behold, it was the best choice I made. I brought my medium sized suitcase along with cardboard boxes and simply put my suitcase under my bed. I used that suitcase for every home visit, small break, and winter vacation! As far as stuffing all of your clothes into dorm closets and dressers, I learned from my best friend Maggie that if you don't have to hang it, don't. By the end of the year, only my dresses and sweaters were hung. I rolled my tank tops, sweatshirts, tshirts, and underwear and ended up fitting three times as much stuff into my dressers! I also invested in some handy plastic containers that I put under my bed (lofting is a great option!) for some extra storage. As far as shoes, I ended up buying a bin that I put in my closet and just tossed them in there. I'm sure there's a better way for storing shoes, so if any of you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them ;)

Anyways, I hope this helped at least one of you! Feel free to email me if you have any more questions! About clothes, packing, or anything related to college or not!

lifesizepaperdoll@yahoo.com!

Blog Shop!

2011-08-13T11:02:00.000-07:00

I am really, really excited to finally announce that I have opened my blog shop!

All items are things that have appeared on the blog.

It has its own little sidebar in the left column!

Click the link/picture to check it out!!

This little gem is up for grabs!

John Green

2011-08-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Someone who was really, really smart recently said, "You can never love someone as much as you can miss them." And the moment you think you're going to have to miss them is a scary moment. And to be honest, I didn't think I would be the kind of girl who can't imagine the world without them in it, without texts goodnight, texts good morning, and texts all day long. The walks, talks, laughs, smiles, hugs, and riddles that really do in a way make the sun come up in the morning. Yeah, I guess I'm that girl.

Thankfully, I won't have to do any missing. Not yet.

I took these pictures in Niklaas' backyard while I was housesitting. I haven't told him that so this is the first time he's hearing about that, too. Hehe. One day, Amber tweeted that she was going to wear our twin lace dresses from Forever21. And the next day, I found myself wearing it with the jacket I swore I was going to actually take out of my closet and wear. I have way too many items like those that stay in the closet. And so, one tripod and pair of geek glasses later, here I am, prancing around in his backyard. Hey, it's a pretty backyard.

Outfit:

Dress- Forever 21

Jacket- Urban Outfitters Renewal

Shoes- Urban Outfitters

Glasses- Claire's

Deer in the Headlights

2011-08-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

As if last week couldn't get more interesting, Friday night did. Excited to embark on a mini road trip to pick up one of our good friends at the Spokane airport, Niklaas arrived at my house with a flat tire. My dad and him fixed it up in a jiffy, no problem, and we left my house for Spokane thinking the chances of two flat tires in one night wasn't possible. However, after the airport pickup and a quick stop to eat, we left the mall parking lot to find one flat tire. The second of the night. At this point, it was almost 9PM and everything was closed, so we ventured throughout the mall taking pictures in every photobooth past closing time and wasted another two hours. We made it home at 1AM and collapsed.

It's funny how things can change so fast. I mean, that is probably the world's most cliche life lesson that your life can change in the blink of an eye, but I left Moscow frustrated and bored of summer feeling like I needed adventure, badly. And yet, in just a couple hours, life was sparkly again and it was kind of magical however unfortunate the situation for a spontaneous flat tire to spark some midnight car dancing on the highway and gas station junk food. It was probably and easily my favorite night of the summer, even though Niklaas would probably disagree consider it was his car and his burden.

The other night, Niklaas took pictures of my best friend Margaret's family. I went along, as I have somehow seemed to become his onsite assistant for such photoshoots, and wore this outfit. It wasn't something I meant to blog or even wanted to blog, but then I decided I needed to throw the towel in and just blog. I feel like the struggle of blogging after a year of doing so is feeling inspired and motivated. Finding a "blog worthy" outfit can almost nearly bring me to tears sometimes, pathetically enough. I've been in a rut as of late, but the journey to find my personal "style" needs to include those outfits I'm not sure of. And as it turns out... I did like this. Not planned as it was. I'm wearing a bow from my sponsor, Bethany, and it was one of those items from her shop that made me squeal inside (and out). I love this bow and the vintage print!

Welp, I've been getting some fun emails lately, so I have a few things planned for the upcoming weeks. I'm back to regular posting...right now.

Outfit:

Top: Thrifted Blouse

Skirt: Urban Outfitters

Shoes: Lulu's

Bow: c/o Bethany

This Week

2011-08-03T21:01:00.000-07:00

As hard as I try, this week doesn't seem to want to be my friend. I spent Monday curled up in a ball watching horribly wonderful ABC family and Disney movies on netflix instantly with the jar of Ibprofen by my side. I very nearly let my female hormones get the best of me in the soccer game and had to beg my temper to a) not let me cry on the sidelines b) punch a douchebag the crap out. Today, as I was pulled over by the meanest sheriff in the county, it was my last straw and as he interrogated me rudely on the side of the road demanding that I show him where my phone really was ("I feel like you had enough time to stash it back there"), I started bawling my eyes out but not before he thankfully did not give me a ticket but informed me that the next time, my crying wasn't going to get me anywhere and he would give me a ticket for driving twenty over the speed limit. There is a lot I have to say about this, like the fact that my 1985 Suburu Loyale couldn't reach 70 if he wanted and that I swore off texting whilst driving a year ago, but mostly I'm just surprised that I turned out to be the girl that cries when she gets pulled over. And then cries for another hour. And has to call her mom. I guess this getting pulled over for the first time thing is three years over due.

All of this premenstrual syndrome business has left me plain tuckered out and not motivated in the slight to get dressed. Even the smallest things like my mom offering to take me to get a cold treat or Niklaas cleaning my windshield at the gas station has made me want to cry. I forgot how much energy it takes to cry! Anyways, I'm sure I'll resume outfit posting because I am missing it dearly. I realized how pathetic I've been about blogging this summer and I need to get with it. For now, let me tell you all that I've gone through my wardrobe and this is what I've found:

Things I have way too much of:
1) Floral dresses: Okay, floral dresses rock, but I have too many. There are times when a floral dress is not an option (jumping on a trampoline and going biking for starters) and my little obsession is getting out of hand to the point that there is almost nothing left to wear in my closet but floral dresses, however nice and cute that they are.
2) White tops: Really. By the dozen. That I don't wear.
3) Skirts I don't like: The skirts I liked two years ago that are buried at the bottom of my skirt drawer are things I wouldn't wear now... and it's time to say sayonara.

Things I need to have a more complete wardrobe:
1) ACCESSORIES!!!!! I think I've resorted to this state of mind where I shop for only dresses. I suddenly have no necklaces to speak of minus the ones that Alex really kindly buys me every so often (i love you, Alex) and two belts. And a few bows. I need accessories. I need to realize that accessories can go further than a new dress. This is a necessity.
2) Shorts: This is in lieu of the floral dresses and skirts problem. I need to get in the frame of mind of buying pieces! I think I need to keep telling myself this, no matter what adorable print on a dress I find in any amazing color.
3) Shoes: I'm trying to figure out how it is that I have one pair of sandals and one pair of flats. That I've had for two years. Honestly. It's summer. How have I made it this long!?!? I need to get shoes. I need shoes.

Basically, I need some practicality in my life.

It seems like I have my work cut out for me, kids. Please, don't hate me after reading this incredibly self absorbed PMS surged rant.

P.S. Take comfort in the fact that I might have to be institutionalized when I'm pregnant.

You're Invited to a Tea Party!

2011-08-01T18:23:00.000-07:00

When it came time to plan for my birthday week... I decided I wanted to have a birthday party. And not just a birthday party, but a tea party. I had the most amazing tea set that I got for my sixth birthday, but one fateful day, I left it at my babysitter's friends' house and never got to have the dream tea party I always wanted. I invited everyone that I loved dearly and by some stroke of luck, my bestest friends ever from college were also able to attend! Yeeeeee!

I went to Goodwill on a whim to see if I could find any sort of anything that could be used for my tea set. It seems like I just got lucky all around for my party- I found not only tea cups, but matching plates, creamers, tea pots, and tea set materials galore! Not only that, but they were on all on sale- 50% off. My 50 cent cups and plates were 24 cents. I spent eleven dollars on a 30 piece tea set. Does it get better than that?

I opted for my Modcloth polka dot dress with a white ruffle detail- it felt vintage and if I had to have tea with Kate Middleton, this would be my dress of choice. The great thing about my little town in Idaho is that there are some great-and cheap!- vintage shops. I found my 1960's white vintage hat for only seven dollars! I loved what people came up with for their "British tea party" outfits. It was a blast!

Niklaas took all of these pictures. He looked pretty cute himself in his blazer. Overall, it was a wonderful little tea party and I truly loved being around every single person I adore (minus one or two people). The only way it could possibly be better is if all of you bloggers could have been there ;)!

Oh, and I definitely wouldn't fit in at the Queen's palace.

Guest Post: Elanor!

2011-07-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

skirt: thrifted, belt, backpack, & platforms: goodwill, shirt: old navy

Hello! I'm Elanor from Missing Lovebirds, and I will be filling in for the lovely Maggie today as she is off vacationing! I'm sure you all love Maggie's playful patterns and adorable headbands (which I wish I could pull off...) as much as I do... but I'm glad the girl is getting a break! Camping is a great way to relax away from society and to just be in nature.

For my guest post, I went to a cute little town the other day with my boy Nathaniel to take some photos! He's always such an eager helper, that one. :) I hear Maggie's Niklaas is too! Aren't boyfriends great? Heheh. Well anyway, I bought this beautiful skirt for 2 dollars at a thrift store recently and decided to style it right up especially for this post! As you can see in the detailed shot of the bottom of the skirt, it has very delicate and detailed lace. Personally I think it's beautiful, but Nat said it looks sort of like a table cloth! Sigh. I guess he's a little right though...Oh well!

Well, that's all for me today! I hope you enjoyed my guest post! Have a wonderful day and be sure to stop by say hello sometime over at Missing Lovebirds...! xx

currently listening to... Baths - Nightly, Daily

Summer Vacation

2011-07-26T15:23:00.000-07:00

here are my pictures from my two week long road trip!

(southern idaho, utah, wyoming, and montana)

yellowstone

old trail town (cody), wyoming

camping consisted of reading on hammocks

yellowstone and dehydration

canyon in yellowstone

grandparents

cousins

lone little tree

i miss you already, wyoming.

nineteen.

2011-07-24T23:16:00.000-07:00

it's a little bit hard to believe that I'm nineteen.

every single time I gripe about my age, all of the elders in the room say,

"don't you think it's a little too early to worry about getting old?"

my answer: no.

I know I'm not technically old.

But what scares me is how every single year seems to go faster

and faster.

I'm mostly scared that I'm going to wake up in the blink of an eye

and everything that is happening right now,

like sitting here typing at my computer,

will be what I'm remembering as a 90 year old.

Right now is going to be a memory before I know it.

for the past six years and some odd years previous,

I've written in my diary on my birthday.

and for some reason, I always recap what I've learned,

how I've grown, what I've realized, what I want,

what I love, and hopes for the future.

this year, however,

I can't write pages about who I've become

and who I want to become.

there isn't much to say.

I have everything

and I'm further than where I ever thought I could be.

all I want to enjoy is right now

while it's here.

Guest Post: Kylee!

2011-07-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

i was beyond thrilled when maggie asked me to guest post for her. being considered worthy enough to write on such a blog is definitely worth celebrating. and what better way to celebrate than with a discussion about birthday traditions.

birthdays are by far my favorite holiday. yes i consider birthdays a holiday. and not just my birthday, everyone's birthday. i love nothing more than giving the birthday kid a baked treat. i always tell them they can choose any baked good and their wish will be my command. i'm basically the birthday treat genie. no rubbing of the lamp is necessary though. birthdays in my house always last a week long. they may be self dubbed week long celebrations, but its fine. it's your birth week. you're entitled. i have this favorite mexican restaurant. if you're ever in utah i beg you to go. it's the one restaurant i crave on a daily basis. yes you read that right, daily. there is no better place to eat your yearly birthday dinner. sometimes i try to branch out and think about other options but in the end i remain loyal and la puente wins.

after eating the best smothered burrito ever created we drive home for my traditional birthday cake. i'm a girl who likes routines and plans. change is not my thing, i usually stick to what i know i like. naturally, i choose the same cake every year. you know that better than anything cake that has everyone nodding in agreement while eating, this really is better than anything? i'm here to tell you that statement is wrong. i know the cake that really wins the i'm better than you competition. it's the exact same thing but take out the heath bar and replace it with butterfinger. your dying inside right? you want a piece right now don't you? i do too. if you want to adopt my tradition i'll let you. you won't be sorry you did.

as i mentioned earlier i'm not all about me and my birthday. i love to celebrate with others. i love to let them know how loved and appreciated they are. for this reason i tend to fill my blog up with dedications to the birthday kids. consider it a virtual birthday card complete with a picture or two. everyone deserves a good birthday tribute. and now for two of my very favorite birthday traditions both including dad. lunch with dad is one of the greatest things. i get to pick the place and we get to spend some quality daddy daughter time. it's the little things like lunch dates that a girl remembers forever. every year my dad gets me and my sister birthday roses. one rose for every year of age. birthday roses have become the one birthday tradition i look most forward to. even though i know they're coming, i'm always pleasantly surprised.

since my birthday isn't for another 9 months i ask you all to celebrate your birthdays for a full week, eat at your favorite restaurant, get free ice cream from cold stone, try the better than anything butterfinger cake, make someone bake you a treat and even find yourself some birthday roses. if you're birthday isn't anytime soon perhaps you should find someone who does have one coming up and celebrate with them. birthdays are the best. yours, hers, his, theirs and even mine.

Guest Post: Jasmine!

2011-07-18T08:00:00.000-07:00

Greetings readers of Lifesize Paperdoll!
I'm Jasmine and I run my own personal style blog (Transient Withdrawal), but I'm so happy that Maggie asked me to do a guest post for her while she's away on an internet vacation! I asked her if she had any themes or ideas, and she gave me a list of some which included dream wedding, how I'd spend $500 on clothes, birthday traditions, and favorite Summer reads. Now since I've put myself on a budget of $100 for my entire Summer wardrobe, I thought dream shopping could turn to be a little dangerous so I took the last idea and spun it in a different direction. The entire Harry Potter series is always a Summer read for me. Always. It has been this way since I started reading Harry Potter as a kid and I'm still not sick of it. Though, I'm currently too busy to actually read the books so I have taken to listening to the audio books at the gym, in the car, and while I'm reading blogs. I'm actually listening to it right now. My boyfriend also surprised me with Harry Potter midnight premiere tickets. We've been together for nearly 4 and a half years, and every year since, I drag him to see Harry Potter with me. So it was super sweet that now he's the one taking me to see the very last one. I figured now would be a good time as any to do some sort of tribute to the series that changed my life. Thankfully I already had some scarlet and gold things in my closet to create this look and thankfully they're fit for the heat during Summer.

outfit: top - forever 21 / skirt - urban outfitters / belt - topshop / shoes - marais usa

"He couldn't know that at this very moment, people meeting in secret all over the country were holding up their glasses and saying in hushed voices: 'To Harry Potter--the boy who lived!'"