Thursday, December 30

snowed in

Life without my mother home is proving to be a hardship on us all. Especially when the substitute mother of the household gets knocked out with the same illness that the father and sister have. And so, two days of couch laying ensued in which I did nothing but watch four discs of Gilmore Girls and moan in agony of having a fever. All while trying to pick up here and there and cook and do errands while my dad and sister themselves wither in pain. We've gone through three boxes of Kleenex's in two days. And I've emptied the garbage double that. We are a cesspool of germs and bacteria!
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I'll be honest. I've kind of been holding out. Not in a good way. I started this blog as a kind of..."diary". An open and honest diary in which I wrote about everything in a day; spared of the few more intimate details I saved for my actual journal. I mean, how many of you can't say that you don't enjoy reading old posts?? For me in particular, I tend to write novels and going back and reading something so specific as a one sentence thought that I can vividly remember writing is irreplaceable! Remembering where I was, what I was doing, and how I was feeling. Anyways, I just think that's really cool. But because of a sudden increase in audience members, I haven't been sticking to that old regime quite like I used to. And I think it's about time I talk about what's going through my mind every single day. My aunt was diagnosed with cancer about two months ago. It has developed in her blood and bones. She also had a tumor in her colon and brain. The doctors are treating her with chemo and my mom has been leaving every so often to attend the occasional treatment with her. It isn't so hard on me as it is to watch my mom and family go through this. Imagining my sister at 43 being given such a diagnosis makes me chocked up as it is. However, my aunt is holding up really well and on Christmas, she had fourth servings at dinner. A lot of people going through chemo are sick constantly and have no appetite whatsoever, withering them down. We are all happy that my aunt has kept her appetite strong and able to eat whole chocolate bars at a time still. Hehe.
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shirt- Urban Outfitters shoes-Thrifted hat-American Eagle vest-Thrifted belt-Goodwill
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Anyways, thank you all so much for all the feedback on the last post!! That post was probably my biggest success yet. I can't tell you some really (!!!) excellent news yet, but let me tell you, it scored me a really awesome prize. We also started a flickr which is sort who we owe the success of the last post to! :) It's awesome awesome awesome. It made me squeal!! I was also featured on the front page of Chictopia with it! EEEP. It was a good couple of days, minus the being ill thing!
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I got this flannel for Christmas because my other flannel seems to continually have shrunk over the past year with every wash. It hardly fits my sister anymore when it used to be loose on me! Hmph! I decided to opt for some Urban Outfitters flannel since I had never tried theirs, and I'm in love. The colors are so vibrant and it is so comfortable! You all know that I am not a pants wear-er so consider this a rarity. Haha. I really don't like these pants. I wear one pair, usually, but I sat in some powdered sugar over Christmas and they need washed! Ha! Under my shirt I'm wearing a vest I helped my friend Katie from school pick out at Goodwill. I need to fix it for her and make some sewing amends, but...I haven't gotten to it...yet:). So I stole it.
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My sister isn't one for Christmas presents and when I told her how much I loved her hat, so instead of buying me something, she gave me this hat. It seriously saved my soul in the last month of school- the fur is honestly so warm! I love it dearly. I wear it all the time. And while I still tease my sister about being cheap, I am actually so happy she gave me it. I wear it constantly! I think you all are so familiar with my boots that I need not tell you about them. Ha! I really want some blank ankle boots. I've been searching everywhere!
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Niklaas got to my house this morning at 7:30am because I have to babysit tonight and tomorrow and because he was snowed in for two days. Seriously. It was a blizzard here at home. We got at least a foot of snow, I would say. My mom wasn't able to make it home but hopefully it's clear enough that she'll make it back tonight!
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Tuesday, December 28

merry (belated) christmas!

Hello!! Due to being confined in Boise for Christmas and without access to a real computer (if I could rewind and tell myself to bring my laptop on the trip, I definitely would), I couldn't blog on Christmas. Which, in a lot of ways, might be a good thing. We all need a break, yeah?? But, I did have a lot of time to kill so I could have documented the day...easily. Oh well.
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How was your Christmas?? Mine was spent babysitting my darling cousins. We opened presents last Wednesday and after hanging them up in my closet, I've decided...yes, I have too many. Ooops. I added thirteen dresses to my collection and several sweaters and skirts. I got a pair of beloved Tom's (finally!). My favorite item was probably my new brown oxfords which I'll be blogging sooon! We left for Boise on Thursday and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with my mom's entire extended family. My mom is one of six and all but one live there. My grandparents divorced a good time ago, so there are two sets of grandparents at every event. This means there were a good thirty people gathered at all times. It was sososo much fun. I feel so blessed to be able to have watched all my cousins grow up and for new ones to be born. My aunt could literally tell you that I taught my cousin to walk and I saw his brother take his first steps. I love being the old cousin! After being surrounded by so much family on Holidays and reunions, it's pretty much solidified in my mind that I want a big family. I've always wanted at least another sibling and I love the idea of being surrounded by people all the time. I might not be saying that after I have even just one kid we'll see ;).
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Niklaas and I took pictures today. It was so wonderful! He has a fancy camera, and now a fancy film camera, and he was carrying my nikon fancy camera, so while he was taking pictures he was camera overloaded. It was funny! I was also one bobby pin short and without a mirror, putting on my headband in this way is nearly impossible. So he did it. Hehe! And that he did-which took a good solid fifteen minutes. Hehe!
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dress- Modcloth tights-Urban belt-Goodwill boots-Ross headband-F21
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I got this dress for Christmas! I got my first ever dress from Modcloth and then another one came yesterday! Eeep! This one screamed Christmas to me and I love that it has sleeves! The lace detail is also so pretty- I feel like every time I buy floral dresses I have to choose one that has something about it that sets it apart from my other floral dresses- sleeved floral dresses make up 99% of my closet. Hehe. I think I'm in love with Modcloth.
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I got these tights at the Urban sale yesterday morning! I didn't think about the fact that my lifetime (okay, just for the 3 years that I've known of its existence)  dream of going to the After-Christmas Urban sale would come true coming to Boise for Christmas. But it did!! Since my mom continually complains about runs in my tights, she bought me new ones. Oh how I miss parents paying for clothes! And they fit perfectly. I hate when tights are really tight- which is kind of ironic, I know, but I like when there's room to breathe and move around. I got this necklace from my cousin and it matched this necklace perfectlyy! I was so excited. I thought these boots matched my belt well so I put them on.
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Well. I'm off to walk my dog with Niklaas (my chore of the day) and do other fun fun things. I hope you had a happy Christmas!
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Wednesday, December 22

wishing you could keep me closer.

This may be a first for me. Writing a new post...and not knowing what to say. Odd. Very odd. Since we last talked, I've probably left the house a total of three times, watched a dozen and a half movies, slept five times over the recommended daily amount, and ate too many spoonfuls of sugar cookie dough. I've caught up with a couple friends but for the most part, I've been a turtle nesting in my little shell. I figure I have five more weeks here, seeing everyone right away isn't a necessity and seeing my family while they are off work and school is more precious.
On Saturday, I experienced the brand new Super Walmart that got built in town. Or, in our twin town seven miles away. In a fight against the city council for years, Walmart finally lost and couldn't build their giant Walmart in Idaho. So, they built one seven miles away across the border and wiped ours out. Hmph. So how do I like it? It's horrible! Why in the heck would you put hardware next to the toys but the home section near the cosmetics? Home and hardware should go hand in hand. And arts and crafts go hand in hand with the home section. It's just how it is! It was frustrating and I have every intention to use Shopko for my every need now. Silly Walmart. If only we had a Target!! For a brief second, I wanted to drive all the way back to Missoula and go to Target. Hmph.
Also at Walmart that probably induced some negative feelings for the place, I got a phone call from the boy saying he'd been in a car wreck. Ouch. It's funny how even when you know someone's okay, you still panic inside and get all fidgety and talk too fast and too loudly and freak out. I've hated driving and being in cars for forever and it just made me hate them more. Coming home from skiing, they hit some ice and rolled into a pond/lake type thing. Easily my greatest fear. Ugh!! Thank the Lord nothing except the car was injured. *shudder*
My dad told me if I didn't get an hour of exercise today I would be grounded. Ha. Even coming home and being 18 and having moved out, I still have regulations. The whole curfew thing seems to be ignored at the present, but not exercising and keeping my room tidy is still on the hit list. After this, I fully intend on taking advantage of the sunshine and taking my puppy for a walk! Yay! It's probably for the best.
Today I am wearing my favorite floral skirt that I over wear. I bought these heart tights to replace my polka dot opaque tights that had a run in them...and now my heart ones have a run. My mom calls it, "sleezy," when I wear tights with even the slightest hole so I try to hide them with my purses or long cardigans. It didn't work today, but I wore them anyways! I got this plain-Jane button down last year and it isn't my favorite shirt in the world, but everyone needs some white in their closet, you know? I am thinking that I need to buy more shoes and less clothes. I've worn these boots so many times because they are the cutest pair I own and if I don't stop, I'm going to weather holes in them! Niklaas did well. Hehe.
Okay. Let's set the record straight: I was the first person to start wearing white flower headbands to school. Not headbands in general, but definitely the first person to wear white floral ones. It seems that since I left the High School...people are picking up on my cues. Like black textured tights. I can assure you, too, that I wore patterned black crazy tights first. Not tights in general, but black crazy ones. And consistently, too! I didn't start yellow or white or plainly, tights. But textured. Yes. They say it's the highest form of flattery to be copied...but it still makes me confused why anyone would want to copy me. I'm not even being purposely humble or anything. I was the crazy chick who wore tights in the middle of winter and ballet flats when it was blizzarding. I guess I'm just confused because I didn't think anyone really took notice. I'm just me, no one special. People thought I was crazy for "dressing up" everyday and now it seems skirts and dresses seem to be a norm. Whatttt??? I'm pretty sure only me and my friend Leah did it every single day. And now so many people do. Weird. Weird. Weird.
Well I'm off to wrap more presents and finally decorate our Christmas tree and call about another job opportunity. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Niklaas is on his way home and I'm so excited:)

Sunday, December 19

coming home.

Guess where I am writing to you from? Guess, guess? If you guessed "home" (and if you read the title of the post and still guessed wrong, shame on you ;) ), bingo! For the two nights that I've been home, I've slept for ten + hours. The first night? 14. Last night? 11. I'm definitely getting my share of sleep and it feels amazing! Finals are over, Christmas is days away, and I'm home with my family. I'm so happy!
I had my job interview on Thursday. I thought it went pretty well and the interviewer was friendly and nice. However, because I didn't get home until the 15th, interviews have already been going on for weeks and the positions are minimal. Hmph. It seemed guaranteed I'd get hours in January during the interview but then I got an email the next morning saying otherwise. We'll see, I guess. I'm honestly just glad it's over! I was so nervous and while I want money, I'm happy to have the first job interview experience in my life over. Woo!
dress-Target cardigan-Forever 21 tights- Urban Outfitters belt-Forever21 shoes-Steve Madden 
Seeing everyone has been insane. It's so fascinating to see how things have changed. It seems that I left home a hormonal teenage sister and came back to a still-hormonal but kind and happy teenage sister! I love it. I told you all I was most excited to hang out with her at home again, and it's been better than I imagined. I missed her so much! I accidentally surprised Niklaas in seeing him for the first time getting home. I went to lunch with my best friend and followed her to her class after the lunch period. While standing there talking to her, I, oblivious to the fact that Niklaas was in the this class with her, looked at the door and in he walked. Just like that! Surprise! It was funny. And kind of awkward with an entire classroom of people there. But nonetheless, it kind of took my breath away ;)
Between sleeping and napping and sleeping and watching television and drinking ice water (seriously, the first thing I did upon returning home was visit the freezer and put some ice cubes in my water), I reunited with my best friend Margaret, the other half of Margaret Squared! We ate ice cream in the winter weather which isn't so winter without the snow and snapped some pictures!
I wore this outfit about two months ago when I first received this owl necklace from Margaret and seriously, the whole outfit was put together around it. That's how I work. I always choose one item whether it be a necklace, pair of shoes, dress, or sweater and then build on it! I got this dress from Target months ago and I love it! Target is my new favorite place to shop for clothes. I am so deprived when I'm home without one! I got this cardigan from F21 last winter and it's one of my most worn items in my closet. It's so cozy. I want the orange and brown one SO badly it hurts! This whole outfit is so monochromatic which is weird for me, but I find myself doing it more and more this winter. Hmmm! It's always interesting going into new seasons because I'm experiencing every season firsthand with a blog and I never know what I'm going to do.
I got these lovely shoes back in March and wearing them makes me so happy. When I used to wear them, everyone was like, Maggie, why are you wearing dress shoes??? And now everyone wears oxfords! Score. My mom keeps telling me to stop wearing these tights because they have a whole in them, but opaque tights are just my favorite! How can I help it? I think she's starting to take it as a hint to buy me new ones. Hehe.
Well. I'm off to finish my Saturday out. I'm scheduling this for tomorrow. From now on, I plan on having a post every other day! Yay! Regular posting! I'm excited.

Wednesday, December 15

Empire State of Mind

So, to start things off, I'm not Maggie: it's Niklaas. Guest posting, yet again. There's a reason though! While Maggie is off being productive and succeeding in life, I'm going to post this so she can spend time studying so she can pass her final (her final final, in fact). 

Last month, over Thanksgiving, I was in New York, so most of these pictures are going to come from there. Not all of them though, because we'd hate to get in a rut, wouldn't we? I was in New York to actually...participate in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Cool, eh? Not only that, but I was in the Great American Marching Band (geeky? yes. awesome?? yes.). 

This first picture, and the next few, in fact, are from one of the most recognizable American landmarks (?) ever. Times Square! I can promise you that it's just as bright and breathtaking in real life as it is on television. 

The one thing that definitely struck me about "the big city" was, to no surprise, how big it really was. That, and the amount of people!! I was absolutely blown away. Coming from a city as tiny as mine, it was insane to see that many people packed into that small a space. Especially during the parade, seeing 6,000,000 people,  I live in a city of only 25,000. 

So I shot all of these pictures were shot on film, using a  pretty old Canon A-1. This was the first time that I've shot with film in YEARS (I learned to shoot on my dad's old Pentax, but since then I've only used digital) so it was definitely quite the learning curve, trying to remember all of the "old school" film techniques. I don't know if I'd say that I succeeded, per say, but I do really love the overall look of these pictures! That grainyness that only film could give really adds a romantic quality to these photos, I think...

I feel like this is one of my favorite pictures from the trip. Not because it's especially aesthetically pleasing (I don't think it is at all) but because it basically sums up everything from the trip. New York, and shopping. Even though I didn't make it into one of these H&Ms, even though there were three within a few blocks of Times Square, I did manage to get into the GIGANTIC Forever 21 in Times Square, so I still feel like it was a success! 

I feel like this is another example of the beauty of film that digital just can't measure up to. Ever. The way the light hit this, even though the picture was taken at noon, is just...amazing. It looks like I imagine the 1960s. I can't even describe it. These pictures are just so nostalgic, and make me so happy.

This is actually the only picture in this post that wasn't from New York, but it IS my favorite from all the rolls of film. It, also, is the only one of the pictures that was "planned." Well, not really. Only in the fact that I knew the way that the sun rose, and I figured that this might work. It did, I feel, work magnificently. This picture especially feels reminiscent of an earlier, simpler time. 

Alright, kids, this is it for me. Hopefully this sates you until Maggie and I get back in business (something that I am VERY excited about!). It's always a pleasure to write these, and I do see the comments, and enjoy them all. 


 P.S. Merry Christmas!!

Sunday, December 12

three days.

I didn't realize the title of my posts this month have been a consecutive countdown to home. It just happened! I talked to my dad on the phone this morning for a half hour and my mom for another fifteen minutes while she was walking on the mountain and I'm definitely feeling the jitters now. My mom keeps telling me about how she's cleaning the house for my return and my dad keeps telling me to get my head in the books, but I swear I can hear a little bit of excitement in his voice, too :). I have a secret though. As excited as I am to see my parents and my friends, I think I might be most excited to hang out with my sister again. I miss her so, so much!!! I think she might be a little excited, too, even if she shows it less than my dad:).
I'm officially done with both of my labs. Ugh. Labs. That's how I feel about them. Now I only have an online final, an online quiz, an online project, and two tests! And I don't have class I have a three day weekend! Today I packed all my clothes into two suitcases and two boxes and cleaned my entire room. If not for the two tests left, I could leave right now! I can literally taste leaving. Seriously. I'm sorry that it's all I talk about...but in about three days, I'll have lots of exciting things to talk about besides being holed up in my dorm room studying and waiting to leave:).
I have a confession. This photoshoot is from last winter. I started chictopia last January and became obsessed. Since I became absorbed in my blog-blog, I haven't commented back and I haven't been interactive. I miss the 100 so comments...but I think blogging is more fitting for me. I like to talk! Anyways, since I started this blog in March, I have all these wintershoots I've been wanting to post. So I am!
These are still some of my favorite clothing pieces, nine months after the fact. I wear these tights constantly and they are definitely one of my most beloved pairs! I'm not much of a sweatshirt wear-er unless it belongs to a certain boy and I especially didn't like to "dress down" in high school so this to me is as dressed down as I go. This sweater is so, so soft and comfy and I feel like I'm in sweats but paired with tights and with the detail on the shoulder I don't look like I'm a complete train wreck! These oxford heels are my favorite shoes in my closet. I wish I had more opportunities to wear them!
Looking at these pictures that are nine-ten-eleven months old is actually so, so weird. I can remember this day perfectly and I can remember standing in my backyard with the self-timer taking these pictures. Do you ever do that? It's weird. So much has changed since these pictures and if I remember correctly, right before I took these, I was off to go see a movie with Niklaas. When...we weren't anything. Well, not defined as anything at least. It was when he was just my best friend who belonged to someone else. And I can distinctly remember my parents saying, "You're going to a movie? Alone? With...Niklaas? Can that...happen?" Ha. Again. So weird. I mean, this is almost a completely different Maggie, here. The Maggie before college and before graduation and before turning 18! I don't feel like the same Maggie. At all. I just want to give this girl a hug and say, "Hang in there. Everything is going to turn out. You're going to ace your calculus final. You're going to walk across that stage hearing the roar from the fifty family members that love you and hug the darlingest boy you've ever met. And he'll be yours when it happens. You're going to go to Montana and fall in love with it. You're going to meet best friends that will be best friends for the rest of your life. You're going to feel happy."
I'm going to go shower and put this sweater on! Are you ever inspired by yourselves? Haha. I'll be honest. When I'm in a complete slump I'll go to my blog and look at really old posts and try to mimic outfits, changing little things. I'm thinking...jeweled headband, skinny jeans, and my black boots today with this:)
I hope you all have a good week! I don't know if I will post again before Wednesday or Thursday because I'll be studying and taking finals and driving home. And I have my job interview Thursday. But I'll be back and I'll be back in full speed with Niklaas when I return!:)
Thank you all for your comments. Sometimes, they make my day more than you possibly know.